To be angry about a remark from a driver after I apologised!

[Tzimi]

A little while ago, I pulled into the main road from a side street, admittedly a little close to an oncoming driver. But the driver then walked over to me & apologised to him for cutting him up a bit just earlier. However, despite the fact that I apologised, he still called me a c*! I was fuming about this, AIBU?

This

@Italianita not so, my ex missed an oncoming motorcycle. He was pissed, grabbed him by the collar and screamed in his face (but subsequently apologised for getting road rage)

I understand people get upset, but road rage really worries and bothers me. There’s no way you can safely drive with that level of anger
and outrage.

Exactly, I stopped in the traffic queue, he stopped further behind, got out, & walked over to me. I wound down my window & apologised, then he swore at me!

That sounds horrible OP. I suspect if you hadn’t apologised you may have been in for far worse than being called the c word if he went to the trouble of leaving his car and walking up to yours. That’s pretty intimidating behaviour, most drivers would have shrugged off the annoyance of your misjudgment merging.

Can't believe anyone finds his behaviour normal or acceptable.

Who gets out of their car to shout at another driver?

A bullying nutjob is who

Op, you are probably shaken up about the whole thing. I am not surprised. If it ever happens again, report the driver to the police as it isn't acceptable behaviour.

I don't think he was expecting me to even speak to him, let alone apologise...

It's also possible if the op had been a man the other driver would have started an actual fight.

@Tzimi unfortunately there are aggressive people everywhere. What happened was not right but also it is over and it was just a word. Driving is a scary business at times, dealing with the emotions of other drivers.

In the heat of the moment sat in my car, I'd probably have called you a twat, but no, I wouldn't have said it to you, or had a go at you.

Getting an apology, that would have surprised me to be honest.

So the OP made a mistake, there was no crash and no one was hurt, and some posters on MN think it was perfectly reasonable for the other driver to verbally abuse her?

The only two prangs I've been involved in were the other drivers fault and I didn't call either of them a cunt but the man who literally drove into the side of my car did get out and start verbally abusing me for the damage he'd done to his own car.

I think PP are correct that this would not have happened if OP had been a man. There is no excuse for someone behaving so aggressively.

I'm not immune from having a little theraputic rant in the car when someone's done something outstandingly stupid*, but no one should be getting out of the car to swear at other drivers when an accident has not occurred.

*The U-turn around me when I was driving at 30mph was a very original act of moronic driving. 2x lanes in each direction.

So there was stationary traffic in a main road where the other driver was travelling at perhaps 20 mph, and the OP pulled into this main road where stationary traffic was travelling at possibly 20mph, which nearly caused an accident because they caused a stationary car travelling at about 20mph to brake hard because they misjudged the traffic and pulled out dangerously onto this main road that was.....? Hmm...

Did you apologise because he was shaken up? Or to make yourself feel better?

Fuck sake. 🙄

Some people cannot end any conversation/interaction without being the last to speak. That does not defend what he said, and I doubt if the same word would have been used to a man.

Like most people, I apologised because I'd done something foolish.

This happened to me
recently when I bumped into a man who was carrying a drink across a crowded room and spilt a little. I immediately said I am so sorry and he also called me a c**t.
I have noticed people are much more aggressively
rude with horrible language since the pandemic and think it’s a particularly unpleasant word to call a
woman -
but it is in common use now the way it wasn’t a few years ago

You were not 'entitled' to drive at 40mph.
40mph is the speed limit, and is the maximum speed permitted. It is not a target.

Perhaps ease off slightly when you see a car waiting to pull out of a side road, just in case the driver pulls out unexpectedly. It's basic hazard perception.

It is called defensive driving.

It's unbelievable, isn't it? It's almost as if they are angry with you for apologising & depriving them of the opportunity to have a go at you!

Totally agree with this, and in fact some people seem to actually go faster when they see someone waiting to pull out, presumably to prevent them from doing so!

Ok, so in your opinion, what would be a better response?

People do, in fact, make mistakes.

Nobody was hurt, nothing was damaged, so of course the guy's reaction was totally out of order. Fuck him.

Your post seems very immature.

Hilarious.
Just reporting on what I see driving around my City, and what I have seen in over 40 years of driving.
Sometimes I see road rage. The people who can't control their reactions, or manage their tempers don't give a hoot who they rage at.
Not everything is about sexism you know.

I recently had a bloke behind me gesticulating and shouting out of his window at me after I neglected to signal that I was turning into a side road. Obviously not good and not signalling is not a habit so I was mortified when he beeped, but not signalling while driving at less than than 20mph (road layout) pales into insignificance compared with not watching where you’re driving because you’re too busy berating someone else.