To write a letter to the school requesting that a parent not be allowed into class?

[notahappymummy]

I have namechanged as don?t want to be recognized in rl.

My ds is in reception. There are a few parents who go in on a weekly basis to help out in his class. Most of them seem lovely but there is one that I am not happy about. She is a very forceful woman who I have seen in the playground and in public shouting at her ds a lot. Also, a friend of mine is quite good friends with her and she has been telling me things that this parent has told her about things happening in class, things about other children which I don?t really think she should be discussing.

I?m not happy that this parent is going into class and is then coming out and discussing the children with other parents. So I am intending to write to the head too request that this parent is no longer allowed in my ds? class because I am concerned about her inability to remain confidential.

Ibu?

We have hit this confidentiality issue several times at our school there seems to be a parent like this in every year,something our head has done that seems to have helped,is to make it standard that no one helps in a class that there own child is in, this seems to mean that we have parent helpers that really want to help,and not just compare abilities.

Do you think it's really usual for parents to offer to help in the classroom so they can compare children's abilities and gossip about that - how sad if so I am out of this sort of thing as I go to work.

sunnydelight a parent helper course sounds good is it a county thing or just the school's own idea?

Heonsfly - that's a stroke of genius. Do they still get volunteers to help in a class other than their child's?

I think from my own observations it's not uncommon TM, sorry to say
And there have been numerous threads on here where people have discussed opinions they have formed of other people's children/parenting, based on their experiences of doing reading support in their dc's school.
And others have posted, like the OP, of inappropriate remarks from parent reading helpers too.
I know loads of people out there do this sort of voluntary work unselfishly and discreetly, but others don't.
I am really happy that the dcs' school don't use parent reading help, tbh.
I'm doing an after-school club for which I was CRB-checked and my stock response to even the most anodyne comment about how it's going is "They are all great, I love it, it's jolly hard work"

Yes Jenni, in fact I think we got even more helpers as some parents prefer not to be with there own child, the other problem this solved was that its a pretty small school and some parents that couldent help because of work/siblings ect were spared the endless so and sos mum comes in why cant you?

Marina, where do you find the energy and time to do an after school club

And can I have some of whatever it is you're on

Yes, I suppose I can see how this would go on, parents living through their children a bit too much and getting gossipy, competitive and cliquey. Yuk! It's the darker side of school volunteering and school gates friendships, I suppose and I try not to think about it. One good reason for having a job and some distance from everything

Well done on getting your club organised marina. I assume it's latin and languages.

I'd just speak to the teacher I think. As a starting point. The number of times people suggest "write to the head" makes me wonder how the poor headteachers get a chance to run their schools. They must spend their lives reading letters from annoyed parents.

I volunteer in 2 classes at my DS's school (but not his class).

I am CRB checked (extended check) AND had to sign a confidentiality contract thatm means I am not to discuss what I see/hear outside the school walls. It outlines what to do if you think there is a child protection issue etc and gives loads of pointers but the bottom line is; don't go spreading gossip about the kids.

Write to the head, definitely - she should not be allowed to act like that.

As a starting point I'd talk to the teacher and ask them if they are going to mention it to the head (not as a threat, as a general, blah, blah) and ask what they're going to do about it.

If your head is very visible, you could then ask them, after a day or 2 if the class teacher has had a chance to speak to them about X (schools can get busy and teacher may not have mentioned it due to busyness, not neglect of the issue).

Ask them what they're going to do about it and what their policy on confidentiality is (if you feel you're not getting anywhere), that's if you aren't working f/t and have the chance to talk face to face.

Else you could ring the Head and discuss, but in person is usually better.

In my experience this will be taken very seriously as it is a breach of confidentiality where a parent is using their (limited) position to divulge private and confidential information about children.

YANBU to think this inappropriate!

We're in Sydney rey so not sure if it's common around here - I'm pretty new to the whole system which is SO different from the UK. Some really good things, some stuff I find very strange