Single parent holidays

[Girlmama82]

My ex husband wants to take our two daughters abroad for a holiday next year.

I am very unsettled about it as he would be the only adult and I am very worried that if he became ill or injured my children would have no one to come to assist. Also if either of the DC needed hospital treatment, hospital rules might not allow him to stay with sick child if he has another child in tow?

I am worried any of these situations could cause distress and trauma for the kids.

My fears are not ungrounded…. I did once have to drive over over 3hrs (a 6-7hr round trip) on a Sunday teatime as he became injured when he had them out at a day trip on his own. My DC were just stranded for hours in a busy A&E department waiting room not knowing what was happening with him taken off somewhere in the hospital.
What happens if this happens abroad!?

On the other hand my DC want to go on the holiday with him and presumably single parents take their children on holiday all the time?? He’s wanting my confirmation he can book the holiday imminently and I don’t know what to do - I have spoke to DC about my concerns but they are too blinded by wanting another holiday and repeating what their dad said which is that it’s unlikely they’ll have any disasters and I am being over cautious.

Ive explained my worries to my ex and suggested it would be better to take another adult with them (his mum or a friend, even his new gf) but he wants to book just him and the kids.

AIBU to say I don’t want them to go?

To add, they did go abroad with him on his own this year already (for the first time) and I alleviated my concerns by also going separately with my own partner to a resort close enough where I could easily get to them if needed. We stayed away from their resort all week and he had his holiday with them without issue. I can’t however do that that again next year due to financial constraints. I am not sure I can afford any holiday next year. Financially and sensibly, I realise I can’t keep spending money that I don’t have to spare to provide a nearby “rescue” for my ex’s holidays.

I think you are being massively over anxious about this.

Millions of lone parents like me travel with their kids all the time.

Life is a series of reasonable risks.

I have taken my dc away as a single parent many times and this scenario has never crossed my mind. It's highly unlikely that anything would happen that would mean your ex would be hospitalised

I also think it's really unfair that you have discussed this with your kids. Why would you put this fear/worry on them?

How old will the DC be next year?

@Smallfry79 that seems a bit of an overreaction to something you say yourself was not serious. I’ve travelled alone with DD both abroad and in the UK since she was 4. One thing I did always do was get her to lead me to reception on her own soon after we arrived and told her if I was ill she could ask the people there for help. She actually liked the feeling of control/responsibility. Nothing ever happened though.
OP YABU. Very.

Thank you all for your comments. I think I have the clarity I was looking for and I’ve told DC I will let their dad know that he can book the holiday if that’s what they all want to do.

I will still worry whilst they are there but I accept that that worry is part and parcel of being a parent. I know I’m a good mum and the reason I put this thread on in the first place is because I wanted to fully consider the request and not be unreasonable.

I guess there is a line between protecting DC to the best of my ability and being overprotective that’s hard to determine sometimes, especially in a split parent family.

I didn’t read all this.
I have been on holiday with my DC every year myself for over ten years with the consent of the other parent in writing (for border control).
The situations I would be concerned about with the non-resident parent is things like them being aware of DC swimming capability and things like that. But unless there are safe-guarding concerns which you have not stated, you cannot put conditions on a parent taking DC on holiday.