Relevant backstory : My grandmother passed away last year and left me her house. Her estate is still being dealt with so the house is currently in a place of limbo, but technically it is mine. My mum and my elderly godfather currently live at the property and they have both suffered some ill health this past year. I don’t live locally, but since they have both been struggling I have been looking after them and staying at the property almost exclusively.
My brother is extremely verbally abusive, and it has amped up over the past couple of months. He is financially very irresponsible (he’s unemployed on benefits, but lives at home and pays no rent), and relies heavily on my mum and godfathers financial support I.e. he expects money (a minimum of £50) off them daily. Something they can’t afford, but they will literally go hungry to give in to his demands. When they are unable to, he gets angry and the verbal abuse starts.
I’m sick of him treating them poorly, and whilst I appreciate I cannot stop them communicating or giving him money, I do not want to be in the presence of him when he is behaving so badly.
A month ago things blew up, I couldn’t cope any more and as a last resort I threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave the property. He didn’t, so I called them. This seems to have made the situation worse as he’s now got some serious vendetta against me and is horribly verbally abusive every time he comes to the house. Following the police incident I made it clear to my mum and godfather that I could only continue to stay and look after them if my brother wasn’t allowed in the property. They agreed, but he continues to turn up. I don’t allow him in and then my mum and godfather give me grief for being difficult. They think I’m being confrontational when I don’t accept his narrative of things, and maybe I am.. but I just can’t let him think it’s acceptable for him to keep trying to get in after all of the horrible treatment we’ve received. He came the other night looking for food, and my family pressured me again, so I caved and said he could come in, take some food from the cupboard and leave. He pushed by me and said he wasn’t leaving, he was staying the night and if I didn’t like it I could go home. I’m completely caught in the middle because I honestly can’t cope and would love nothing more than to be able to go home, but when I say that I will, my mum starts freaking out and screaming and crying. But she won’t stand up to my brother. Everyone just keeps placating him and letting him behave badly in order to “keep the peace” (yes, I know that’s completely backwards). Ultimately my brother thought that night, after refusing to leave when asked again, it was really smart to call the police for no particular reason other than to get back at me for calling them on him.
I don’t want to cause my family any additional stress, but I can no longer tolerate his behaviour. My family are just not giving me the support I need and I’m feeling very alone and constantly doubting myself, and my mental health is suffering greatly. So.. am I being unreasonable for insisting he not be allowed in the house when I’m here?