Ex and I share ds who has just turned 12.
Ds has a hobby that ex has never particularly approved of (it's dance - ex thinks it's 'gay' - I know I know, he's a knob) but ds has always loved it. Occasionally gets nervous before comps but he has a real talent for it and lots of make and female friends in his group.
Now he's started seniors ex has ramped up his mission to try and get him to quit. He's so manipulative. Trying to convince ds that he's nervous because he doesn't like it and he would be so much happier doing something else (football or rugby perhaps).
The thing is ds is impressionable and looks up to his dad. He's also quite scared of him I think. And god knows his dad is a master of manipulation. He did it with me for years until I doubted everything I thought I knew and liked. I can't stand to see him do the same to ds and make him give up something he enjoys and is good at. I have spoken to ds and he says he wants to do it but there have been a few practices he's missed due to simply not been bothered to go recently thanks to his longer days and new routine at high school. Predictably my ex has jumped on this as evidence that he doesn't want to do it anymore.
It's getting to the stage where im starting to think ex is going to start refusing to take him to any practices or events that fall on his weekends. Obviously I would do it but I can see him being awkward and saying no because it's his contact time. He's that petty and focused on what he wants, not what ds wants.
Firstly how do I get ds to stand up to him? Secondly what do I do if ex does stop this for his own selfish reasons?