To be irritated by other children’s behaviour?

[Dracomalfoysmum]

DC (age 9) goes to two extracurricular clubs. He loves them but I’ve noticed in both recently that there is at least one (different) child in each that regularly misbehaves and is mean to the other kids throughout the class. Not bullying or picking on the other kids but just what I would call low level meanness and misbehaviour eg telling the other kids that they didn’t win because they cheated (they didn’t but child doesn’t like losing), pulling/pushing other kids back under the water so they don’t beat them, shouting at and telling other kids what to do, coach says one thing and they do the opposite etc.

Parents of these DC are watching in both clubs and do nothing and coaches are clearly reluctant to say anything to either child or parent. My DC isn’t bothered about it-he says he just ignores and stays out of their way-and he loves going to both clubs. But as a parent it really irritates me! AIBU?

Typical behaviour from Ill disciplined kids.
Parents allow dreadful behaviour.

I’d speak to coach.

Pulling other children under the water?
Nasty little oiks.

No you are not being unreasonable.

I was at a swimming oool party after watching one boy and was keeping an eye on my son and a boy who was spoiling it for others and thought his mum had chosen not to stay as if he had been my son I would have called him out and told him off.

I turned to the woman next to me and said, 'There's always one little brat....'.

It was her son!

Only then did she address her son to 'Calm down'.

This was before mobile phones were popular so she had to return to her seat and sit there and fiddle with her handbag as she was embarrassed.

I don't understand why parents won't call their child over and have a word with them.

We went to a kids show last night at a theatre and there was a child behind us who talked all the way through. Her mum let her watch YouTube on her phone.

She must have ruined it for about about 10 surrounding people...

I don't get it. Why pay so much for tickets if your sweet little darlings can't behave? I reckon she was about 9.

It was a special treat for us as tickets were extortionate! Pissed me right off.

Hate kids like that. Spoil anything nice. Unfortunately lots of them don’t grow out of it. They grow up to be bastards

I'm not excusing the behaviour, agree it is hugely annoying.

I do think people - including parents - are absolutely tattered and knackered. I think the worsening of attitude - which I do feel is visible - is a result of just how shit everything feels.

Not good.

*I turned to the woman next to me and said, 'There's always one little brat....'.

It was her son!*

Haha this is just the kind of blunder I would make

Have to say my worst experience of this was on 9hr night flight where 8/9 year old child was shouting, kicking seats, volume up on devices due to boredom (totally get it) while his parent did nothing and pretended to sleep in the seat next to him! No one was sleeping for rows all around!

@MariePaperRoses that’s brilliant! I almost want to do something similar. Only because it might prompt them to do something!

I remember bringing my nephew to a pantomime and one little girl was out of her seat and standing where she was blocking lots of children's view. Another mum eventually tapped the girl's mother on the shoulder and told her the girl was preventing other kids from seeing the stage. The mother called the girl back but five minutes later she was up and out of her seat and standing in the same place. The mother did nothing. Some parents just seem to completely lack awareness and do nothing when their children are spoiling things for others.

I can’t decide if the parents know their kids are behaving the way they are and are choosing to ignore or if they actually think their children are behaving fine and will get a shock if told otherwise!

I think too many parents are massively hung up on correcting poor behaviour. Perhaps they're bitter and angry that their own parents didn't take any nonsense, and are harbouring resentment over that, and feel the way to "be a better parent" is to allow awful behaviour?

I notice a lot of parents write of poor behaviour as "they're just kids". Well sure, they are, but 1. you're the parents 2. Do the job you signed up for and parent 3. If you weren't up to it, you should have considered contraception and 4. Leaving it til late on in a kids life to tell them "know what you're being a brat, knock it off" is only going to make it harder in long run.

The longer you hold bad habits, the harder they are to break. It is not cruel or wrong to correct a child who is being appallingly behaved, it is cruel and wrong to allow poor behaviour and let it become habit. You have to be cruel to be kind, I believe is the saying?

That's awful behaviour!!! I'd be fuming!!!!