To not have him with us in some capacity?

[Sumotwins]

My partner took a really bad turn over the last three days. He is saying that he has PTSD and this led to an overdose and behaviour that led to him. Having weapons seized from my home that he uses for hunting social work. I’ve said I’m not to have him back in the house or give him any unsupervised contact until he has sought help for a period of time. He just keeps calling crying saying he wants to go home and I’m feeling absolutely horrendous. I can’t stop crying either. We were on the verge of separating anyway due to him being unfaithful and continually lying about it. He’s saying this is part of him not wanting to seem like a bad guy because of all the Demons he’s dealing with. You can’t switch levels overnight and it pains me that he’s not okay, I was thinking of speaking to social work about maybe meeting him soft play with the kids just so he can have some contact with them and give him a bit of hope that he will eventually be able to have a proper relationship with them again, it’s definitely over for us I can’t go back after all the things he’s done.

yanbu and I’d be deeply suspicious that his mental health crisis and ptsd ‘turn’ happened at the same time you were getting ready to ditch him for cheating . Looks like his fake suicide attempt has not had the desired effect and backfired on him spectacularly. This is a very common tactic , don’t fall for it, hold the line. Hope all goes well for you .

Weapons for hunting social work sounds terrifying. What was he planning for do?

Surely you don't want to be his mh nurse if you don't want to be his dw? Keep him away op. Put you first.

YANBU. Stick to your guns. At the moment your safety and the kids safety is priority, not his feelings.

I was thinking of speaking to social work about maybe meeting him soft play with the kids just so he can have some contact with them and give him a bit of hope that he will eventually be able to have a proper relationship with them again

why are you thinking about him here? His hope?

Any contact should be about the children’s best interests and their feelings. It’s not about making him feel more hopeful.

You really need to get your head round this.

If there’s to be contact for the children, it should be supervised by professionals in a contact centre. Because you’re not in a place to being doing it right now.

You need to put your children’s safety first. Clearly he is not safe for them to be around.

Also confused by Social Work hunting…

I think if he has weapons then you need to keep him away from the children. If you meet with him in secret & social workers find out then they will see that as cause for concern I think.

I think that bit should have read

...weapons for hunting. Social work have said ...

Feck no. Stop caretaking his crap. His trauma. His pain. Take a step back. Block his communication even temporarily. You need headspace from this drama. Think about you and your kids. Not about how you can help him. I bet he's never once considered how he can help you.

@FuckingHellAdele Ah yes that makes sense. I would let him have any contact right now. Take advice from social work on when and how this should be done to keep yourself exactly right.

The weapons have been confiscated for distraction by the police.
contact wouldn’t be in secret, social work have said supervised in public places is okay.
I am thinking of the kids too, they are wanting to see him to physically see that he is okay.
however, I think you are all tonight in that I am not the person to be supervising contact at present.
mom Just exhausted, tearful and not thinking straight.

Mental health is not justification for cheating,ive been diagnosed with autism, PTSD,EUPD,anxiety, depression and adjustment disorder in the past I've made some stupid choices but never cheated on you,it sounds like this suicide attempt could be to manipulate you into feeling sorry for him and stay in the relationship.

Stick to the choice you have made OP don't feel sorry for him,he's responsible for addressing his mental health issues not you