Holidays with kids are just hard work..

[Liverpoolgirl50]

We’ve just come back from our first week abroad with our 14 month old DD and extended family and it was hard. Late nights, grumpy days, no amount of swimming / soft play / time with family seemed to entertain her enough. We argued, it was all a bit meh and expensive.

Does it get easier? I feel like I actually would be ok if we never did that again.

No matter what age they are it's always harder when you aren't at home. They are constantly trying to get you to look at something, go somewhere. Want money. My youngest was 2 and eldest 4 when we first went abroad. I wouldn't fancy taking a toddler.

It does get easier but never relaxing.

I find a baby /toddler almost easier

Heat shatters them. They have a nice long nap in afternoon so 2hrs peaceful sunbathing 😂

Then have evening meal and sleep in the buggy as we chill over a glass of something

Mini blondes went as a 5mth - 13mth -18mth - 2.5

Then covid halted 3yr and 4yr

And she went back as a 5 last year and 6 this year

Yes as a 6yr she is safer in the water. I don't need to be in pool whole time with her but always near /watch her

Gets tired but doesn't daytime nap

V

A toddler and obv need to be in the water with her and has a nap

We didn't travel abroad til my youngest was 5. I had high levels of anxiety and just couldn't face it.

We've not bothered until DS was 4, and we took him to Disneyland Paris. We've booked Port Aventura next year. There's no point even trying a sun resort holiday with him; it'd just end up with us taking turns exercising him like a collie dog.

We’re about to do pretty much this with our 3 year old.

We’ve done lots of holidays since she was born but mostly uk caravan or cottage. Only one abroad when she was about 14 months to stay with a relative and that was hard in some ways, but not too bad as we were in a home environment so had access to kitchen, toys, washing machine etc.

I always think of it as a change of scenery, chance for family time and some nice meals, ideally lots of outdoor time in decent weather depending on the holiday type - and I’ve enjoyed them all really - but yes still hard work and definitely not a holiday as I used to understand them!

I think you probably need to reset expectations about what a holiday is. And that you're catering for 3 (or more) human beings wants and needs in an unfamiliar place where you don't have your 'stuff'.

When it was just you and your partner you both probably agreed on the destination, activities, and generally had similar expectations about what to do.

You're still going to be parenting 24/7 wherever you go. Whatever you find hard about parenting at home will be amplified. Also trying to placate toddlers by giving them 'enough' entertainment rarely seems to work. They're always up for more. 😅

The best thing I've found on holiday is to expect your pace will be slower, have a list of things you'd like to do for you and your partner that are child friendly (but not necessarily child-orientated) and put your own rest/relaxation first. That might even mean one parent taking the child solo for a morning so the other one can have a lie in. You'll find it infinitely more fun if you're not both knackered and following a relentless toddler around together all the time. I think there's a trap people fall into that holidays must mean spending 24/7 together as a family all the time, when in reality that'll probably just mean you're all tired and getting on each other's nerves.

Focus on the location as a chance to experience some new things you don't normally get to see day to day at home. But don't neglect the fact that parenting is tiring and you need to actively factor in downtime for both parents. Which often means spending time not as a family.

I found it much easier once they hit about 8.

FWIW Covid meant we didn't travel with our two until they were 6months and 2.5 years old. Since that first trip we've done a few UK breaks and one abroad trip (to the US). We've got another trip booked to the US when DSs are aged 2 and 4. My eldest definitely can struggle travelling, but I've used each trip as a learning opportunity so it's getting better each time.

I had to reset my expectations about holidays after our first trip. Our 6-month-old was a dream... 2.5-year-old 😬- I wasn't prepared for that. 😅

I'm a bit nervous about taking our youngest aged 2 (almost 2.5 by then) based on my experience with our eldest. But I hope we've learnt quite a bit since that first trip.

I think the key is to be realistic in expectations. I have a disabled 13 year old so in a lot of ways it’s a case of same shit different location. But it’s a different location a change of scenery and a chance to do things differently.

It definitely gets so much easier and more fun.

Pre 3 is hard.

Best holiday I’ve ever had- including before kids- was Thailand with a 3yo and 6yo.

Learning how to plan successfully holidays with children is a whole skill set in itself 🙈

I found the trick was to stick with dc’s routine. Revolve around sleep times, feeding times (never let them get hungry or overtired) and keep things simple and familiar even in a strange place. Figure out what will be novel and what will be familiar and revolve around the familiar and it won’t be too bad.

Eg, we had a tent/driving holiday when dc was 15 months. We were in the car an hour before nap time so she had travel time, morning tea in the car seat, a bit more travel time then sleep. So we got about 3 hours driving time fairly easily. I tried to bath her in a bucket in the tent but she wouldn’t have it. No matter how decrepit the bathrooms, that’s what she needed. You should see the photos. We all had a wonderful time after we hit our groove.

As parents, you need to share the load but that was easier for me as dh wasn’t a hands off parent so dc were used to receiving comfort and care from him. If you do everything and dh doesn’t do much normally, then your job is harder.

I loved traveling when mine were small but I did things I wanted to do and just ensured we built kids friendly activities into the day eg museum then lunch then play park then another museum. We lived overseas and travelled pretty extensively including backpacking with a double buggy

We didn’t go abroad till ours were 6 & 4, all the hassle & expense just wasn’t worth it. Even UK trips felt like a test of endurance 😂 easier to be at home.