How do you deal with the disappointment of not doing well.

[User5512]

I know I’m AIBU, but I’m looking for suggestions and advice for dealing with this and making peace. I’ve lost my job (tech lay offs) and the market situation is quite bad out there. So please be kind.

Im interviewing for a position, one step below my current role with a 30% pay cut. I feel I’m going backwards in my career. If I let this go, I don’t know until when I’ll be looking.

My uni friends in the US are printing money - stock options etc while I’m struggling to get ahead. I feel super disappointed in my self.

Taking a job below your skill level is not failing, it is being practical by taking the job available while you wait for a better opportunity to come along. I think that's to be commended and a sign of a smart and sensible person who doesn't let pride get in the way.

Be inspired!

Yaya you've suffered a set back but it takes sheer determination to get ahead. Take the lower job if you have to but be resolute about self awareness, improvement, working extra and make sure you're recognised for it. You'll progress. From your post, it's your self pity that is holding you back.

Taking a pay cut while you reset is a perfectly reasonable tactic in a fluid job market. And it is also pretty silly to judge your life or success by your pay grade.

Comparison is the thief of joy

Your US friends may be less successful than social media would have you believe

Or, if they are successful and earning £££, it may come at a cost eg long working hours and lot of responsibility

I understand the frustration / financial consequences of a drop in salary. This could be temporary until you rise back up to your true level. Or could be the benchmark from which all future salaries are set

But we're in a strange world at the moment

So, if you can afford to hold out for a job at your higher salary, you might wish to do that

If not, perhaps try to focus on positives in the new role eg less responsibility, less stress

I find it helps to remember the movie Sliding Doors. Things going brilliantly well could take you down a path that ends badly. A bit of a rough patch or disappointment could lead to better things.

Don't compare yourself to others for a start everyone is on their own journey. I know a lot of people who are making a lot of money theybare not all happy and some have some fairly drastic things going on in their lives I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I also know others, myself included who are not exactly where we thought we would be after leaving uni but have things other people would give their right arm for such as our health, our kids our relationships

Disappointment is mainly due to the fact that recruiters/companies will now only offer grade 3 roles rather than grade 4 or 5.

Im currently grade 4. I was due for promotion to grade 5 this cycle. My whole team is getting laid off now.

Right, so basically your entire industry is suffering a pay cut?

You didn't cause this and you can't cure it. All you can do is care for yourself in this new climate.

Accept that pay is down - The old Grade 5 is now a Grade 3 - and take the best job you're offered. Save your worries for working out how to live on that new level, and aim to get to Grade 4 (the old Grade 6) as soon as possible.

No, the entire industry isn’t suffering a pay cut! Number of open positions in the market is around 50% of seasonal averages. So every job is insanely competitive. Employers are being very picky and taking forever to come back with next steps after an interview.

For some reason, I’m not getting ANY level 5 interview calls. Recruiters say there are very few level 5 positions in the market (quite senior roles)

People vetting level 5 interviews are currently working way over level 5 jobs.

Also stock options aren’t worth anything unless and until they are. That’s why employers are free and easy with them. They’re a promise that needn’t bear fruit.