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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I deal with this nappy situation?

30 replies

Northerngirl345 · 23/09/2023 08:14

My dsd is 7 years old and still wears a nappy at night time. She’s totally dry during the day and a really bright little button but a really heavy sleeper so every morning she wakes up with a very wet and heavy nappy.

My ds was out of pull ups at age 4 and I just stopped putting him in pull ups because he’d started school. He had a few accidents but caught on pretty quickly.

My partner had tried those mats with alarms on them when she was about 5 but the alarm would go off every time she rolled on it so he gave up pretty quickly.

My question is - AIBU to just take the nappies away. I know I’ll be doing washing constantly for a few weeks but is getting wet the only way to learn?

OP posts:
ImustLearn2Cook · 23/09/2023 08:17

Leave this decision up to her mum and dad. There are plenty of kids her age still wearing nappy pants to bed. It really isn’t a big deal.

Simonjt · 23/09/2023 08:19

How do you expect feeling wet to teach her body to produce hormones?

YourNameGoesHere · 23/09/2023 08:19

Firstly she's not wearing nappies and I hope you don't call them nappies in front of her secondly has your partner actually taken her to the GP it's quite normal at 7 to still wet the bed. I suggest reading the Eric website.

NorthCliffs · 23/09/2023 08:20

It's not something she can 'learn.' it's a biochemical product of her brain, probably exacerbated by the disruption of living in two homes.

NuffSaidSam · 23/09/2023 08:21

No, you shouldn't deal with it.

Her parents, in conjunction with a GP/specialist, should deal with it.

Sinuhe · 23/09/2023 08:22

As an ex bed wetter myself, I can tell you nothing will help.... only time!
So just let her be. It isn't an issue so why make it embarrassing for her in front of the whole family?

fearfuloffluff · 23/09/2023 08:23

YourNameGoesHere · 23/09/2023 08:19

Firstly she's not wearing nappies and I hope you don't call them nappies in front of her secondly has your partner actually taken her to the GP it's quite normal at 7 to still wet the bed. I suggest reading the Eric website.

Of course they're nappies. 🙄

fearfuloffluff · 23/09/2023 08:25

Dd6 recently came out of night nappies, they were always heavy and wet like your dsd.

Turns out she'd wake and wet, it wasn't happening as she was asleep. She'd wake, wee and start reading or playing! She'd deny that was what was happening.

So if the parents support the idea, you could try every six months or so to see if the wetting is happening while she's asleep or when she wakes.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 23/09/2023 08:25

Not really your place to deal with it. And having her wet and uncomfortable in the night won't make a blind bit of difference. It's a medical issue, you can't cure it with stubbornness.

AuntMarch · 23/09/2023 08:26

Has she lived with you full time/not seen her other bio parent for a long time? Otherwise I can't imagine why you would think this was your issue to decide on.

But also, it's hormonal. You'll only be setting her up for embarrassment, or worse, shame.

Mountainhowl · 23/09/2023 08:26

No, you can't train night dryness, it's hormonal, she will be dry when she is ready, I've known family members to try medication for this issue

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/09/2023 08:29

My Ds got to nearly 7 still wearing a pull up and then just abruptly stopped needing them. We’d even been in touch with the GP and made an appointment for blood tests etc to see if he needed the to take the hormone artificially.

MyEyesMyThighs · 23/09/2023 08:42

It switched instantly from wet to dry for my DS a week before his 8th birthday, 8 is when the Dr will even look into it. He also sleeps really heavily, which has been great in other ways.

I'm glad I didn't make a fuss or let him wet the bed endlessly. Once or twice we did think he might be ready and he'd wet the bed and only wake up a few hours later freezing, no change of "learning" anything but horrible for him.

Leave it alone, stop comparing to your son (my DD was also dry early, but t wasn't anything I did).

Soubriquet · 23/09/2023 08:48

It’s not your dd. Let them parent how they want, and night time nappies are normal.

ExtraOnions · 23/09/2023 08:55

My daughter was on Desmopressin to stop nighttime wetting, until she was 12. She was about 7 when she started on it… she just didn’t produce the hormone naturally

Motomum23 · 23/09/2023 08:58

I'll echo what others have said. It's a hormone issue not a training issue.
You'll have loads of wet washing and then suddenly realise she still isn't dry and go back into pull ups until they start coming off dry in the morning
For my oldest son it was 10 years old... all my other kids were dry before 2 years at night so it's not a parental thing.

Balloonhearts · 23/09/2023 08:59

Holding through the night is hormone regulated, it's not something that can be learned. If she hasn't started producing it by 8 or 9, the GP will likely prescribe a synthetic version.

Anycrispsleft · 23/09/2023 09:05

At that age there will still be about 1 in 10 kids not dry during the night. My DD1 was dry at about age 3, DD2 was almost 10. Before their bodies start making the hormone that suppresses night weeing, all you will do by training her is train her to fully wake up when she needs the toilet, maybe useful if she was going on a trip away with school or something, but otherwise not really any benefit to her. And as others have said, it's not up to you to decide.

Marblessolveeverything · 23/09/2023 09:09

Why would you think that would be a good idea? This isn't due to laziness nor deep sleeping. It is to linked to hormones.

cuddlebear · 23/09/2023 09:12

Why is this your problem? Does she live with you FT? Is her mum about?

On first glance, I would leave this (including the additional washing) to her parent to deal with. However, I suspect there’s a huge drip feed coming.

nutbrownhare15 · 23/09/2023 09:16

Have a look at the ERIC website

Original poster
Northerngirl345 · 23/09/2023 09:37

Thanks everyone - I hadn’t considered that it’s a hormonal issue. My partner brought it up this morning as he’s worried she’s going to start getting invited to sleepovers as she’s just started junior school…and I said “I’ve got no idea…I’ll ask Mumsnet!”

I’ll go with the general consensus and leave her be.

OP posts:
TempName247 · 23/09/2023 10:18

You won’t know if it’s a hormonal issue or if it is just a habit unless you give it a try. Perhaps you could take her for a ‘dream wee’ when you go up to bed to minimise her needing to go.

PollyPeep · 23/09/2023 10:32

It depends whether she's wetting during the night or as a habit in the morning after waking up. Our four year old had a very wet nappy every morning and we thought he wasn't ready, turns out he was often weeing on purpose once awake rather than get out of bed to use the toilet (I mean, fair enough lol)

heldinadream · 23/09/2023 10:38

These are the experts on this. Had this with my younger DD, and luckily we lived in Bristol so were able to get treatment direct from them (long time ago), but have a read OP.

Bedwetting – reasons and how to stop it - ERIC

Girl asleep

Bedwetting – reasons and how to stop it - ERIC

Information to help work out why your child is bedwetting and how to stop night-time accidents including information about alarms and medication.

https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bladders/bedwetting/

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