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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My child plays wrong, who knew?! (Lighthearted)

63 replies

DCPlaysWrongNot · 22/09/2023 19:51

Every other Friday night, when she isn’t with her dad, I take DD (aged 9) to a soft play centre. I vary it each time.

She has SN and a couple of medical issues.

She loves Soft Play. I always choose ones aimed at slightly older children, there’s 4 nearby that say they go up to aged 12 or under 4.5ft.

DD looks and sounds younger than her age more like a 6–7-year-old but she’s happy.

She usually has a couple of goes on the slide then just sits in either the ball pit or under those big square blocks. She happily chats to any child who passes her or who stops for a chat, and she never gets in anyone’s way. She doesn’t throw anything, or shout or meltdown she just sits. She says she sits and makes up a game in her head with the balls being a shark pit or she’s floating in the sea waiting to be rescued, she pretends she’s sat on a raft and the other children are on other boats or rafts also waiting to be rescued.

Tonight she was doing just that, sitting in the ball pit, chatting to anyone who passed her, one girl stopped and chatted to her for a good 5-10 minutes.

After that, the girls dad came up to me conversation went like this:

Him “Is that your girl in the ball pit just sitting?”
Me “It is, did she throw something or say something mean, I’ll have a word if she did”
Him “No she’s just sat there chatting to my girl when my girl should be playing”
Me “She’s happy enough, if she’s not upsetting anyone please just leave her be, she’s quite happy. If you don’t want your daughter to chat to her and would rather she play that’s fine”
Him “It’s bloody strange, it’s a soft play, they’re supposed to play, sitting is not playing they can do that at home with a tablet. It’s wrong”

I’m sat thinking that she is playing in her own way. She’s happy, I can see her, she’s not disrupting anyone. I check in with her every 10 minutes or so and check she doesn’t want me to ask some of the other children to play with her, and she always says they chat to her and she’s fine.

I’ve paid the same price as everyone else there for my DD to be there, so surely if she’s happy and not upsetting anyone it’s fine?

For context DD loves these trips, looks forward to it all week and says it’s her way to relax after a hard week.

So AIBU? Or does my DD play wrong?

Lighthearted by the way, I don’t care what someone thinks about the way my DD plays.

OP posts:
AliOlis · 22/09/2023 20:37

Freezingcoldinseptember · 22/09/2023 19:57

Maybe he is miffed his dd preferred your dd to his idea of a fun trip out. .

Clearly! Bloody fool.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/09/2023 20:38

Oh dear, the Disney Dad didn't get validated.

However will he cope?

Idonotthinkso · 22/09/2023 20:39

Oh gosh, I would love to go to a ball pit on a Friday night, lay there and chat. What a great way to destress after a tough week at work. Although I’m the person that when she saw the IKEA Club Bed advert thought it was an advert for an actual club and told DH we needed to go to it.

vipersnest1 · 22/09/2023 20:48

He's a twat.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 22/09/2023 20:49

@Idonotthinkso that would be great! Glass of wine and lie in the ball pit... Sounds amazing!

I hate the gym, and I always think how hard work climbing around soft play is if I have to go in after DD. I think it would be great if they did adult only exercise sessions, so I could run around and do the monkey bars and climb ladders and things as a workout Grin

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 22/09/2023 20:52

Oh, and yes, he's a twat OP.

My DD spends quite a long time returning stray balls to the pit every time we go to soft play. Never tidies anything at home though 🤷‍♂️

Darkmode2 · 22/09/2023 20:57

He sounds like massive idiotic prick

Don't give it another thought op

LittleBrownJug · 22/09/2023 20:58

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 22/09/2023 20:49

@Idonotthinkso that would be great! Glass of wine and lie in the ball pit... Sounds amazing!

I hate the gym, and I always think how hard work climbing around soft play is if I have to go in after DD. I think it would be great if they did adult only exercise sessions, so I could run around and do the monkey bars and climb ladders and things as a workout Grin

I too love this idea & also wish they did adult-only sessions! I love soft play (which is a niche view among most other parents I know).

itsmyp4rty · 22/09/2023 21:00

Fucking men. I bet if you'd been a dad he wouldn't have said a word. Why are so many of them arseholes that think it's fine to take it out on women?

Idonotthinkso · 22/09/2023 21:03

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut @LittleBrownJug we should make it happen. Plastic non spill beakers of your drink or beverage of choice. Soft Play is big central though so I’d want deep cleaned balls ( to coin a phrase!)

DoubleTequilaSunrise · 22/09/2023 21:04

itsmyp4rty · 22/09/2023 21:00

Fucking men. I bet if you'd been a dad he wouldn't have said a word. Why are so many of them arseholes that think it's fine to take it out on women?

and you base that massive assumption on...?

AutumnFroglets · 22/09/2023 21:16

Him “It’s bloody strange, it’s a soft play, they’re supposed to play, sitting is not playing they can do that at home with a tablet. It’s wrong”

He's the weird one. Why would you only sit with a tablet 😯

It might seem strange not to see a child running around expending energy in those places if you aren't used to quiet, reflective children who like to chat instead of scream or shout. Sounds like DD is having a lovely time watching the world go by. I'll bet my last penny she will grow up to be the type to sit on park/beach benches people watching when older😉

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 22/09/2023 21:18

Twat! It's a bit random man bestowing the benefit of his wisdom on you isn't it?

Occasionally when mine were little we'd go early to soft play and it would be really quiet. I used to sit in one of the bits while they bimbled around me - it was lovely and peaceful!

LaundryWoes · 22/09/2023 21:23

@Idonotthinkso if you happen to live anywhere near Lincoln the soft play there (play zone?) used to do student nights where grownups could go.

Bibbitybobbitty · 22/09/2023 21:25

Your child sounds lovely, imagination is a wonderful thing to have & she'll never be bored if she is able to entertain herself. I see many young children who really lack this ability & are really hard work to look after, this dad clearly doesn't value it & more fool him.

DisforDarkChocolate · 22/09/2023 21:26

Your girl is a star, what an imagination.

Idonotthinkso · 22/09/2023 21:37

@LaundryWoes thank you. I think I want something more sedate than a student night. Like a chill out room? I should put it to my local soft play centre!

Workawayxx · 22/09/2023 21:45

Your dd sounds lovely op and I love that you do that every Friday together.

it sounds like the dad had a specific way he wanted his child to play and decided that, rather than speak to his child and redirect, he’d make it your problem. Very entitled behaviour. Glad you can ignore the comments!

Ididivfama · 22/09/2023 21:48

I wonder if he was one of those horrible
people who realises she had some SN and didn’t want them to mix, or that he wanted his daughter to play in the area your daughter was in. Either way it’s all very odd and rude so I hope this hasn’t upset you!

FatCovidWorries · 22/09/2023 21:53

Fancy having a random man mansplaining the "correct way" to do soft play 🙄

NoMor · 22/09/2023 21:54

Wow. It's considered weird to socialise irl now...?

Ohthatsabitshit · 22/09/2023 22:07

I would imagine it’s take a pop at the disabled child if her disability is visible.

Studswagger · 22/09/2023 22:20

Ha, he would hate my son. He lies about all over soft play doing absolutely nothing except enjoying his own internal life. He likes soft play because it gives him a wider range of textures and options to lie upside down etc.

BlueIgIoo · 22/09/2023 22:42

NuffSaidSam · 22/09/2023 20:21

As I very clearly said, it sounds like your DD is really make the most of it.

But I can also see what the other parent was getting at, although what he wanted you to do about it I don't know! But I get the frustration.

As you said, light-hearted, don't worry about it.

Agree with this. Your daughter sounds very sweet and like she wasn't in anyone's way. Ideally I prefer for my own child to run about a bit as she isn't naturally hugely active like some small children are and I think it's good exercise!

PinkMoscatoLover · 22/09/2023 22:50

I would have told him to shut the fuck up, but I have a terrible mouth on me.

DD is 2 and non verbal and literally spends her time in soft play just running around and running over a few blocks. I’d love for someone to come up to me and tell me something if their child copied her and did the same thing.

Why can’t his daughter sit and have a chat with yours? Maybe she doesn’t want to run around for the whole hour/hour and a half

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