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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To only take one child to a family wedding

10 replies

Geriatricmillenial · 22/09/2023 19:19

We have a family wedding tomorrow, and with impeccable timing my husband has come down with covid. We have a 4 year old DS and nearly 2 year old DD and the idea of taking them both on my own is giving me the willies quite frankly.

It’s a two-hour drive to start, so by the time we get there I will likely be out of patience, and more crucially, snacks. It’s a traditional type thing with a service, meal and disco, and we have booked to stay over.

I would have my mother and sister in law there to help a bit, but this will certainly bring down the enjoyment factor for them to be dealing with the frequent tantrums/scrapping/dicking around at the table etc. I would also have to leave the party at the younger one’s bedtime and deal with the night wakings alone, which are numerous at the moment. I struggle with this.

My husband is ok with having the two year old here as he’s not that sick, so I can take just DS and have a much better time all round. But I worry my in-laws will judge me for not being able to hack having the two of them, and would want to see DD. AIBU for wanting to take just the one and have a stab at a rare bit of fun?

OP posts:
ColonelRhubarbBikini · 22/09/2023 19:28

Not at all unreasonable. If she’d be happier at home which it sounds like she would be then leave her with her Dad and have a fabulous time.

AliOlis · 22/09/2023 19:29

I doubt anyone will mourn the non appearance of a two year old at a wedding.

Mustbethewine · 22/09/2023 19:32

Your DD will be none the wiser. I'd leave her at home. Hope you have a lovely day.

Approaching · 22/09/2023 19:35

Sounds perfectly reasonable as long as your DH remains well enough. We have similar ages kids, we frequently split up and do separate things with them, easier all round.

Sandysandwich · 22/09/2023 19:42

It's totally fine, if you were particularly worried about them being judgy could you just say your youngest was a little ill too? She didn't sleep well and was a bit hot and snotty so she's stayed with your husband.
Its not something anyone is likely to judge you for though

Bubbleses · 22/09/2023 19:42

Definitely leave the 2 year old. It will be more stressful for you and they would probably have a better time at home with their dad anyway. Who cares what anyone at the wedding thinks.
I have personally done this before too (left a 3 year old at home and took the baby as I didn’t want to handle both)!

LovedmyRaleighChopper · 22/09/2023 19:46

Will you be welcome at a family wedding with presumably older relatives there with a husband testing positive for Covid?

Geriatricmillenial · 22/09/2023 19:52

Thank you all so much for the replies! I think I’m so worried about it because I think I should be able to handle this. My MIL had three young children on her own most of the time so I worry that she will have this in mind and think I’m not up to scratch… I know it’s probably just me though. Definitely feel better knowing others would do the same, and of COURSE I should play the ‘she felt a bit warm’ card! Thank you

OP posts:
Geriatricmillenial · 22/09/2023 19:54

Good question @LovedmyRaleighChopper - we will be testing in the morning, should have said that. And we’ve discussed with the bride too

OP posts:
xyz111 · 22/09/2023 19:55

Geriatricmillenial · 22/09/2023 19:52

Thank you all so much for the replies! I think I’m so worried about it because I think I should be able to handle this. My MIL had three young children on her own most of the time so I worry that she will have this in mind and think I’m not up to scratch… I know it’s probably just me though. Definitely feel better knowing others would do the same, and of COURSE I should play the ‘she felt a bit warm’ card! Thank you

Who cares what your MiL thinks anyway! I would go with just the older one. She'll probably like feeling like a grown up, being taken to a wedding just you and her. Have a great time!!

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