Chronic plan cancellers

[VegetablePancakes]

I have 2 soon-to-be ex friends from uni who do this.

Friend #1

Thursday
Her: sends me a link to a new menu item at our local cafe or a link to a new cafe in town Let's meet!
Me: Hi. Ok, when?
Her: Next Tuesday during our lunch break? But I'm not sure, we'll see.

Monday* *
Me: Are we still meeting tomorrow?

No response from her.

Tuesday night
Her: Oh sorry was not feeling up for leaving the house today, let's take a rain check.

Friend #2

Her: Are you free for lunch anytime soon?
Me: Yes, I'm free on Tuesday and Thursday.
Her: Oh I can't do those days. Anytime else?
Me: Next Monday?
Her: I'm not free on Monday either.
Me: When do you want to meet?
Her: Uhh, I'll get back to you.

She never gets back to me! That, or we pick a date and then she cancels on the day itself because she doesn't feel like eating teppanyaki or whatever we were going to eat that day.

They ALWAYS initiate this conversation, and yet never follow through. Neither of us have kids/work shifts/have jobs that require OT so it's not that either. AIBU to just not bother with chronic plan cancellers anymore? Why do they do this?

I would be losing patience with this pretty quickly. What do you think is going on? Are they just chronically disorganized or are they holding out in case they get a better offer? Either way, I couldn't be doing with it

I've recently stopped bothering with people who do this kind of thing and it has been very freeing. Also if I make plans with a known canceller, I don't put it in my diary, so if other offers come along I won't turn them down. If no other offers come along and the chronic canceller initiates going ahead, I may go, but only if it suits me. Basically return their level of enthusiasm. I assume it will mean a lot of these people sliding off the radar eventually but I'm fine with that now rather than a one sided friendship.

I often wonder if they do it to everyone.

I stopped bothering with all chronic cancellers unless they have an actual reason they may cancel alot, for example their have a chronic illness that could just flare up and mean they are too ill to come, in which case I just accept that's life and it's worse for then me, but I would expect communication about it from them. The not replying then cancelling would wind me up.

I've also recently stopped bothering with someone like this. Always initiating, then either cancelling or having to change things due to other plans. She has recently been in touch again asking if I want to meet and I've just responded no thanks, because I know I'll just end up getting messed about!

I have a friend like this. Drives me mad and it's so disrespectful of my time.

Arranges something but doesn't actually confirm, then leaves me hanging.

Get rid of both from your life now. I actually felt my blood boil reading this. Flaky little shits.

Send her pics of great food etc(even from a magazine!) telling her shame she missed out.. Invent a fake companionan if she knows you don't dine alone. Or really bloody go op! I love a cheeky cafe lunch by myself... Never ever fess up at home either!