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AIBU?

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Original poster

Benefits reduction

1000 replies

Bonsaitreepic · 22/09/2023 08:49

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 11:07

mycoffeecup · 22/09/2023 10:41

40 hours per week on the minimum wage for his age is £300 per week, over £1200 per month. Why is he working so few hours?

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He isn't working at all. That's his UC payment.

Everanewbie · 22/09/2023 11:07

I realise it is tough for you, but not working when of normal working age can get normalised for children in non-working households. Now I know your life has its challenges and I don't blame you for not being able to work, but as he approached the end of his school life you should have been discussing this with him, and planning what he will do. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm 39 and been working since 17. I would have loved time to decide, but unfortunately there were and still are bills to pay.

HootyMcBooby76 · 22/09/2023 11:07

Secondwindplease · 22/09/2023 10:24

Before I was 18 I had already worked as a waitress, pot wash, secretary and a pesky little telesales person flouting timeshares. Doesn’t really matter what he wants to do, he’s just got to do something. Shit jobs are very motivating, on the bright side!

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Agreed.
My two daughters (one 15 and one 17) both recently got weekend/evening jobs at a pretty decent starting salary while they are in fifth and sixth year at high school, and for what it's worth, got about 3 or four interviews each at different shops and cafe's simply by handing in a CV or emailing them.

I can't understand how people say there are no jobs. There are jobs if you are willing to look for them, and maybe do something you are not that interested in until something else comes up or you finish your education.
There is NO way I'd have a 20 year old adult not contributing to their keep, even if it meant they had to get a job they were less than enthusiastic about.

If he is healthy and can work, he should be.

yogasaurus · 22/09/2023 11:10

I realise it is tough for you, but not working when of normal working age can get normalised for children in non-working households

This. It’s one of the biggest challenges the system creates.

AllyCart · 22/09/2023 11:10

Bonsaitreepic · 22/09/2023 09:11

I agree. He’s at a bit of a crossroads and is panicking about what he wants to do

He can panic about what he wants to do while he's working, earning money and contributing, though.

Losttrackofmynames · 22/09/2023 11:10

@Bonsaitreepic go on to entitled to
Benefit calculator and make sure yoir getting everything you should be.

CoffeeBean5 · 22/09/2023 11:10

Also if your son gets a full time job (40hrs a week) and national minimum wage for 18-20 year old (£7.49) then, after tax and NI, he'll earn around £1200 a month. Unless your youngest is a baby, you should also find employment. Lots of us work and struggle with the cost of living.

BarbaraofSeville · 22/09/2023 11:11

Throwncrumbs · 22/09/2023 10:45

He can’t and you can’t afford for him to be a fussy eater. I like steak, I can’t afford to eat it often and I have a job! He needs to get a job , and you do too, you can’t moan about benefits and do nothing to help yourself ffs!

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This. You're indulging his champagne tastes on tap water money while he sits around 'at a cross roads'. He left school a couple of months ago at least and has done what?

If he was working or on an apprenticeship, he'd be bringing in over £1k pm so would be able to contribute to the household, as he should, buy all the food and phone contracts he likes ('only' £20 pm for a phone contract is ridiculously expensive, low income or not, no-one needs to pay more than £5-10 pm these days) and have spending money.

You've known for years that your benefits would drop as your DC reach adulthood, yet not done anything about it until it happened. You reap what you sow unfortunately.

pollo8 · 22/09/2023 11:12

He gets a job ASAP – and some bloody self-respect while he's at it.

If I worked every summer from the age of 13, serving food, mopping floors, clearing tables, this presumably fit young man can get off his arse and find work.

Sick of people lacking the wit and gumption to take care of themselves. The benefits system is supposed to be there for people in dire straits, not those who just don't fancy getting up early.

Iamnotastick · 22/09/2023 11:13

Hi OP

The obvious solution is for DS is to find a job and help cover the costs. You mention hes at a crossroads - I absolutely felt this panic, I remember the fear so well. Its important that he knows that whatever job he gets, you aren't asking him to pick a career now and stick to it, but most people his age will try lots of different casual-style jobs to bring some money in. And when he gets his first pay check and suddenly has more money than hes ever had, thats normally the incentive to keep going.

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 11:13

CoffeeBean5 · 22/09/2023 11:10

Also if your son gets a full time job (40hrs a week) and national minimum wage for 18-20 year old (£7.49) then, after tax and NI, he'll earn around £1200 a month. Unless your youngest is a baby, you should also find employment. Lots of us work and struggle with the cost of living.

Did you miss OP posting she is unable to work due to having a child with complex needs, or just ignore it?

Caffeineislife · 22/09/2023 11:13

What does he need £200 a month spending money for? If he hasn't got a job he doesn't need it for transport, he lives and I assume eats with you so he's not paying for food, bills or accommodation. He needs to look for a job and really hunt for one. Unfortunately your family is not in a position to let him arse about at a crossroads. He needs to get a job and decide what he is going to do. He should be paying bed and board, paying for his phone etc if he's getting UC. UC is not pocket money to be spent on gaming/ trainers/ frivolity it is to support people to live.

mommymaple · 22/09/2023 11:13

Speak with UC about jobs training for yourself. Also, if you desperately need the extra cash to survive you need to reconsider your largest expenses.

caringcarer · 22/09/2023 11:14

Bonsaitreepic · 22/09/2023 09:14

He only gets about £250 a month so feel bad taking more than £50 off him

You need to ask him to pay at least £125 pcm whilst he's looking for work. He just needs to sign up to a job agency and they will find a job for him. It doesn't matter if he likes the job or it's what he wants to do, he just needs money coming in every month. He presumably didn't get £250 before he got UC so why can't you ask him to pay for his food and utility usage?

caringcarer · 22/09/2023 11:15

YouveGotAFastCar · 22/09/2023 09:21

PP was right. You can claim for two children at a time. If your eldest has dropped off, you should now be able to claim for your third child.

OP is already claiming for third DC as she had her claim in before benefit cap hit.

Pleaseme · 22/09/2023 11:15

Ozarkz · 22/09/2023 10:54

And if the son moves out, OP is another £50 a month down

I’m sure having another body in the house costs more than £50 a month. Water, electric, food. Especially if home all day on a computer or something.

Viviennemary · 22/09/2023 11:16

If you are no longer getting benefit for your son he will need to either look for work or give you more of his own benefit which he could do. Or he could go to college. You will need to budget and see where you can cut back.

donkra · 22/09/2023 11:16

I'm with everyone else: your son needs to get a job asap, and he needs to give you all or nearly all of his UC in the meantime. If he got out there pounding the pavement today with some basic CVs in hand, to bars, pubs, shops, restaurants, and local big employers like hospitals or warehouses, odds are he'd have at least one trial shift by the end of the day.

Whereforartthoudave · 22/09/2023 11:16

My exes sister was in a similar situ- lost money for the eldest ( who joined the army!) had 4 other kids at home still - her solution?? Had another fucking kid.
Now all the kids are grown and gone and her and her DP have a fairly miserable life in basic benefits, claiming all sorts of ‘sick’ benefit for their imaginary ailments and are trapped in a cycle of poverty.
Neither have worked properly for 20 years +

it’s no life. The eldest though-she used her army pay check and one by one she pulled her siblings out of that hse and poverty into apprenticeships, jobs, study and supported them into the next steps to make sure they didn’t repeat the parents mistakes .

They all have proper jobs, partners etc now

Chickenpie35 · 22/09/2023 11:17

Do you get disabled child element? And carers element. If you get carers allowance they take it for your uc pound for pound but fro mwhat I can tell carers element can be paid into universal credit same amount but with carers allowance its pension contributing where as disabled element isn't but most people I know choose disabled child element. I don't get uc so I'm sorry if im wrong but I get carers allowance but in the group of mums from my sons sen class the rest seem to get universal credit and take the disabled child element.

Sorry that was long winded just check you're claiming everything you can have you done a calculator? Do you have a carers centre near you?

Birch101 · 22/09/2023 11:17

He needs to get a full time job anywhere and figure out what he wants to do whilst working

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 11:18

Pleaseme · 22/09/2023 11:15

I’m sure having another body in the house costs more than £50 a month. Water, electric, food. Especially if home all day on a computer or something.

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And no-one suggested he move out. Just that he get a job so he can contribute fairly and have money for himself but till then, the UC he is being paid should largely if not totally go to his Mum.

Whereforartthoudave · 22/09/2023 11:19

The leisure& service industry is CRYING out for young people. Is he sporty? What about the local leisure centre?
Does he like to chat? Decent with people? Barman, server, hotel
work, restaurant work, shop work.
Is he quieter? Kitchen porter, groundsman, caretaker, porter in a clinic or hospital.

Wakintoblueskies · 22/09/2023 11:20

Why does an 18 year old living at home need £250 a month 'spending money'?

I cannot understand why he is even eligible to get this. I honestly cannot get my head around this at all. Surely the Gov should be putting him on some sort of training course at least instead of just giving him money?

fortheloveofjamdoughnuts · 22/09/2023 11:20

LodiDodi · 22/09/2023 10:01

So he gets nicely supported through childhood and her other children are left to struggle? Hmmmmm

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Sounds like she shouldn't have had the last child tbh. The 2 child policy had already been introduced when she had her last child - she chose to have it knowing this, it's her responsibility to pay for it. NOT the tax payers

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