Benefits reduction

[Bonsaitreepic]

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

No-one needs to hear your life story. Unlike you I don’t demand that level of information.

I haven’t ‘demanded’ anyone’s life story. If me posting on a thread on a forum in reply to others is ‘funny’, your posts replying to me replying to others are equally as ‘funny’ especially when you can’t even get what order posts were posted in right.

I think you need to look back. It’s you who started on to me. Just because I said op needs to think long term. You then went on, and on and on. Other posters noticed this and called you out on it. Seems you did it all through the thread. Why do you presume everyone with a disabled child/ren can’t work and get so aggressive about it? Maybe read a book - I mean that - for your own well-being.

I find it all a bit sad really. On that note, have a good day.

I think it is you who needs to look back. Please quote exactly where I demanded your life story?

I haven’t presumed no one with disabled children can work, I have said OP clearly states she is unable to, so just because some can doesn’t mean all including the OP can. I have challenged posters who say OP can work because they do/others do. I am not the only one who has done that.

I don’t need your advice for my well being.

Utterly ridiculous that any adult should be scraping by on state funding while they “decide what they want to do”.

You start doing A job - any job or the best job you can get - and work it out while you’re working.

I really hope we’re not raising a generation that has to discover their passion before they can be bothered to earn a living.

Look I get you are annoyed but its none of your business how much time people spend on here and MNHQ have removed posts that question other peoples time spent posting here. Its mean spirited.

I don’t really care. It’s mean spirited to literally spend hours and hours suggesting I’m a liar and digging into my life and calling me ableist - all because I dared suggest op look longer term. That’s it. That’s mean spirited. Thankfully, the thanks and messages of support I have far outweigh the crap on this thread.

Nowhere have I suggested you are a liar! Neither have I dug into your life. It is ableist to think because your DC’s needs meant you can do it, everyone can.

Quote where I called you are liar!

As you know, I thought your suggestions were helpful and possibly inspiring if not to the OP, to others. I don't agree with your version of what happened on this thread though, and just see everyone being a little sensitive. I don't think its wrong or mean spirited for anyone to ask you how you did it, or to be confused about how you could look after disabled children while working and studying. There was confusion, thats all. Your children are obviously less dependent than the OP's and her way to a working life might not look the same or be possible. I think you've all got a little defensive and now the OP probably won't get the help or motivation she needs because this thread is no longer about her, its about you and the posters you're arguing with.

Just to clarify, I wasn’t the posters asking how she did it.

I understand. I'm trying to be as sensitive as possible to everyones differing circumstances, and hope that most are too and are aiming to help. I personally am happy to spread resources, and believe in paying parents for caring for their disabled children.

I haven’t started any argument. I made one post how op should look longer term. Not even get a job and I had two posters go on and on and on. Go back - look. I really don’t care what you think or not. I have screenshots of the conversation in full flow. I know what post come first and who started what. So report for being mean spirited. I think you’ll find it wasn’t me. Have a lovely day.

No need for screenshots, it is all right there in the thread, but if you have screenshots you will know your post at 18:47 yesterday was indeed before mine at 18:57. So, no your post wasn’t in reply to me.

You will also know I have not suggested you are a liar, I have not demanded your life story, I have not dug into your life, I have not said no parents of disabled DC can work.

I don't know the other poster did it. But I studied A levels part time before child in school w v part time work. V.subsidized nursery for that. Then when at school, did university and PT work, some of which was home based (stuffing envelopes - don't know what the modern equivalent of that might be 😄). 12h contact time a week at university, and studied after child in bed. One major aspect was one job was food related, which subsidised our food bill. We ate a lot of stew.

What is the point in that comment??

Would it be the ops fault if the fathers were not paying and absent?

Maybe society wants to start holding the fathers equally accountable and stop questioning the mothers who are shouldering all the responsibility

It occurs to me that having 4 kids you clearly can't afford, and putting the burden on the rest of us is totally irresponsible.

Fathers should be made to pay. It shouldn’t be up to society to make up the difference for bad decisions made all round

@misssunshine4040 it's the mothers who select the fathers. Women should stop hooking up with losers and wasters in the first place.

I agree, but not much point in debating something that can't be changed. I'd be looking at work from home jobs in OP's position.

Fathers should be made to pay. It shouldn’t be up to society to make up the difference for bad decisions made all round.

That was the theory behind the original Child Support Agency.

It worked really well if I remember rightly 😂

@yogasaurus the mother can't force a deadbeat to pay.
Society doesn't hold men to those standards either!

As for the women deciding who the dad is ..... life is simply not black and white.

Men should be forced to pay the correct contributions at source. It should come out of wages and benefits in the same way other taxes do. Non negotiable.

OP said she does get maintenance for one child. Not for the two children who she shared 50/50, though presumably savings are made through that arrangement (food and so forth).

I think its called your son needs to get a job

It is capped at 2 but as the older one moves off the claim, the next one would move onto it. Do you claim everything you can for the one with dla? Carers element, disabled child element etc?