Angry neighbour

[Temporaryname158]

Today I had 2 missed calls from a neighbour. (I’ll call her neighbour A) Her husband died earlier this year and she’s in her 70’s and doesn’t usually call so I went round to check if she was ok.

I knocked on the door, she opened it and invited me in. she was furious and started having a go at me.

I live opposite a semi detached. Neighbour A and B live in those 2 houses. My mum was going on holiday from an airport locally and neighbour B had offered my mum to park on her drive when she went on holiday. My mum got confused and attempted to pArk on neighbour A ‘s drive. She couldn’t and didn’t park on it due to it being too narrow but did open the gate and attempt to. Neighbour A was away on holiday at the time so wasn’t there to mention it to and I corrected my mum at the time who parked on the correct drive and I thought no more about it.

so tonight neighbour A is furious with me, accusing us of trespassing on her property, accusing us of bringing in her wheely bin on that day. I don’t know if my mum did or not. I haven’t spoke to her yet, but she would have only done it thinking she was helping neighbour B who’s drive she believed it to be (who is 90).

I just feel so confused. It was an accident, nothing was damaged and nobody did actually park on her drive. I of course apologised to her and explained that it was due to a mix up, my mum had the wrong drive, not that we thought we could just use hers.

I’ve know this woman 18 years and she’s always been pleasant, we’ve chatted, been in each others homes/gardens. I would have previously said we got on well and that we could have called each other in an emergency etc.

im just so surprised by the anger she had towards me over what in my eyes was a genuine mistake that led to no harm.

what would you do now?

do I buy her flowers to say sorry? (I did say sorry today, several times and also sorry that it had upset her)

what if I see her in the street????

I hate confrontation. I’ve been in an abusive relationship previously and hate shouting and aggressive actions so it shook me up her being that way with me.

have we really done something very bad? Would you have felt and reacted them same if you were neighbour A?

I just need some independent advice and will apologise more if people think I should but also I don’t want to be walked on for a genuine mistake If that’s what people advise

Sounds to me like it was the usual neighbour who moves the bins and who saw your mother trying to park on neighbour A's drive, stirred it up. (Even though they didn't make a big deal of it at the time; doesnt mean they didnt to neighbour A. Maybe they didn't realise you already had permission to park on neighbour B's drive and were just trying your luck) Anyway, you don't know the gossip conversation that was had from the other neighbour and neighbour A and it might just be that neighbour A and you have been caught in the cross fire and have nothing to do with age or dementia.
Some people just like to gossip and antagonise, so I wouldn't let it ruin an an otherwise good 18 year run of neighbourhood relations!

Buying flowers doesn't necessarily mean you are in the wrong, just that you are the bigger person and won't get drawn into a longstanding battle. (And if that's how it does turn out, then you know you tried your best)

It’s upset me to be honest. It was quite triggering for me and I now feel uncomfortable and was quite stressed about it yesterday and it’s on my mind today.

it feels like yet again I’m chosen as the person people feel like they can talk to like shit.

I won’t approach her again. If she wants to apologise she can but I’ll just be keeping my distance going forward.

thanks for all of the kind advice