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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit pissed off?

6 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 04/03/2008 21:24

A few things that have made me feel this way, but all to do with one person - my mother.

I'm escaping her evilness in a month or so...hurrah...but tonight she has really got to me and although i've tried hard to fight the negative feelings when she does try to get to me, I think today she has succeeded. I am sometimes wary about posting about my mum these days incase someone I know in RL reads but fuck it, I'd really like to vent before I trash the house!

First thing happened. I had just arrived home after a work shift this afternoon, so I got changed and checked my email while eating my lunch. About 20 minutes after I had arrived home my mother arrived home from work and the first thing she said was 'and why haven't you tidied up?'....err mother, because I have been at work says I. She has this stupid thing that when it is a work day for her she does zero housework. I wouldn't mind but she works very part time hours such is that she has long periods (2 hours or more) of time at home inbetween each stint of which lasts only an hour. Fair enough but I got home from work, tidied the whole house while she sat infront of crappy daytime tv and 2 hours after I completed the housework it is a bomb again! She doesn't take my work seriously because it is only 4 hours per day but i'm still travelling there and back everyday which takes up lots of time and my work is hard, especially with only just starting and my mind is all mushy!

Second thing is we were at relatives tonight. The family we were visiting asked about my new job so I was telling them and then my mother butts in "and (mothers DH) has a new job too" and turned the conversation totally onto him. I wouldn't mind but I might as well be invisible. I'm shy and find it hard to interact anyway and happy to be in the background, even with close family but I am so pleased with my new job I was revelling in telling them. Just 5 minutes on me would be great. It is like anything the DH does or his family (her IL's) is fantastic, but me, I may as well not exist and she is never proud of me.

Third thing is I have a pram from my childhood. It has been in the spare room til my mother cleaned it out at weekend. No one ever stays over so all junk is kept in there, including a big coach dolls pram from my childhood. She doesn't want to get rid of it but is refusing to put it back in the spare room. Why, seeing as no one ever goes in there is beyond me, but without asking she dumped it in my tiny room. I couldn't walk around my bed and I don't want clutter in my room. Today, sick of bumping into it, I put it back in the spare room. Well, she went really mad! I explained why I didn't want it in my room and she went even madder and started swearing at me and threw the dolls at me . I am not a child ffs and tbh, this is normal behaviour for her. She is a very selfish woman and cares about no one but herself, her IL's and her husband. I don't really expect any replies from this. It is just a rant really. Good to get everything off ones chest.

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 04/03/2008 21:31

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 21:49

You both need your own space. Nothing she has done sounds particularly evil, but obviously you are irritating each other.
I agree with MotherFunk, once you move out your relationship will dramatically improve
Sounds a bit claustrophobic atm

scottishmummy · 04/03/2008 21:50

Lola maybe it is your writing style, maybe not representative of your situation but you come across total headbanger, churlish...

is it her house?
you need to get distance and perspective

DaBombDiggitty · 04/03/2008 21:51

Lola - I can totally relate to this!! Silly little things would set my mum off!
Just try to bite your tongue and do anything for peace for your last month of living there and soon you will be living happily ever after in your own place!!

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 21:52

Lola, do you pay rent?

WinkyWinkola · 04/03/2008 21:58

It does sound like a claustrophobic situation.

But if I had someone - even a relative - staying in a room in my house, I wouldn't just dump a pram in their room. Sounds like your mum is trying to show you who is boss in her house. She is, of course, and you, unfortunately, have to abide by her rules.

You shouldn't let her dominate your time with your relatives either. It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. Maybe because you are living together.

Is there any way at all you could move out? It sounds like you really really need to. Once you do move out, then maybe not see her for a while. Establish your own space properly.

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