Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about treatment during smear test?

56 replies

IfIHadAHeart · 21/09/2023 19:50

I have never had a smear test, until today. I’m at least 12 years past when I should have had my first, but as a victim of SA I’ve never been able to bring myself to go. I’ve recently had some symptoms that meant I’ve had to bite the bullet, and so this morning off I went…

I explained to the nurse that I was anxious, and she did a good job of putting my mind at rest. Initially once she started it wasn’t too bad and I was just thinking how foolish I’d been putting it off for so long. But she couldn’t find my cervix even after a few minutes of (admittedly quite gentle) trying. She disappeared behind the curtain and the next thing I hear the treatment room door open and she walks off down the corridor leaving only a paper curtain between me and a busy queue of people waiting for their covid jabs.

she returns with another nurse and is explaining to the nurse (not to me) that she can’t locate my cervix. Nurse No2 picks up a speculum and shoves it quite roughly inside with no warning and without having said a word to me. She then tries a different size, then back to the first. It’s becoming quite painful. She pulls it out then in again repeatedly. No lubricant, and I think by this time any natural lubrication has gone (sorry TMI!) Eventually I ask her to stop, to which she replies “If we can’t do it today you’ll only have to come back”. I need the test and I knew if I left I’d never go back, so I silently let her carry on. Eventually it’s done. I dress, leave, and by the time I get back to my car I’m crying.

I’m not sure if I’m being dramatic, and I’m sure a smear test is never particularly pleasant, but it’s really upset me. It’s the fact that No2 didn’t feel it necessary to speak to me or explain what she was doing. Or show any awareness I was uncomfortable and in pain.

WIBU to complain to the surgery? Or is this just normal?

OP posts:
TheTempest · 21/09/2023 19:58

I’m so sorry that you went through this with your history. I think you should make a complaint to be honest, it seems she may have forgotten that patients are people!

bk1981 · 21/09/2023 19:59

Not normal. I had a similar situation where the nurse couldn't find my cervix and I became distressed from the pain. She stopped despite me saying she could continue (I didn't want her to have to start again from scratch) she referred me to a doctor who did an internal first to locate my cervix then did the smear without any pain. I'm sorry this happened to you.

NationalPark · 21/09/2023 20:02

I had an experience about fifteen years ago where I chose the GP who I trusted most to do my smear. There were some medical students sitting in with her. Without warning she told the student to insert the speculum.

I didn’t say anything but felt oddly violated afterwards. I don’t have a history of abuse. It has stayed with me though. I should have complained.

I am sorry you went through this. I work in the NHS and am sick of colleagues not introducing themselves and not explaining things properly to patients.

Junebug22 · 21/09/2023 20:04

I’m really sorry you’ve had that experience today. I would complain. The second nurse should absolutely have said hello at the very least, it seems like she had a complete lack of basic patient care. Even without experience of SA, I think that would be an upsetting experience.

There’s a big drive just now to encourage women to attend smear tests and experiences like yours are why women don’t go/put it off/don’t return.

Ive always had a positive experience with them. Yes uncomfortable for a moment but I’m able to breathe through it and the nurse just chats chats chats. I have a bigger issue with blood being taken/IVs being put in (I’m prone to being sick or hitting the deck) and again every nurse I’ve had has been amazing at putting me at ease and making general chit chat to take my mind off it. If they just stuck a needle in my vein with no hello, putting me at ease etc. then I would be really upset.

A complaint will at least give the practice the opportunity to review their standard of care.

Curiosity101 · 21/09/2023 20:04

Definitely not unreasonable to complain. It does sound like she might need a reminder about bedside manner and that speculums can be uncomfortable.

Also, as an aside the smear test does (to some extent) include a visual check of the cervix but mainly it's just going to screen for HPV. You can get private HPV checks done yourself if you wanted to. It's a swab you do yourself.

Wtfnowseptember · 21/09/2023 20:05

Why are people such arseholes sometimes? Such shitty behaviour. I'm glad you managed to have it done, op. I've never had that happen, but have had uncalled for comments which was bad enough and actually made me cry 3 years later at my next smear. It's really damaging.

gogomoto · 21/09/2023 20:06

It's not uncommon for them to struggle, I've had to come back on another day, but they should have explained what was happening. I suspect nurse 2 thought nurse 1 had.

Ienjoyedthebarbiemovie · 21/09/2023 20:07

I’m so sorry, this is absolutely not normal and I hope you can put a complaint in asap.

Naunet · 21/09/2023 20:08

I’m so sorry you had that experience. It’s not ok at all and you should complain. I’m in a similar situation, past SA, put off getting a smear for years but had an issue that needed to be seen. I had a year of therapy before I even booked the appointment. I had some help from my therapist on how approach, and she told me when I booked the appointment to explain I had trauma and that I needed to see someone trauma informed.

The doctor I saw was lovely, she asked me if I wanted the door locked, she talked me through everything she was doing and kept me talking to help distract me. Since I’ve also had to been seen by a specialist, and again, they were wonderful, were already aware of my trauma so I didn’t need to explain, had a nurse in the room to hold my hand and distract me, again, locked the door for me, talked me through everything. I couldn’t sing their praises more.

Please, please don’t think what you experienced is normal, or what you have to put up with. Make sure you ask for someone trauma informed and don’t feel pressured to comply, although I know that’s easier said than done.

Again, I’m so sorry you experienced that, I know how I would have found that really upsetting so I hope you’re ok. X

Dacadactyl · 21/09/2023 20:09

Yes, I would complain about this.

Not in an over the top way but I'd tell them how upset no2 made you feel. The lack of introduction or explanation is beyond the pale.

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 21/09/2023 20:09

I’m sorry to hear of your experience. It may not be common but it’s not unheard of.

However, if you have symptoms of something it’s not a smear test that you need. They only screen for HPV these days and do not look at the cells unless you’re HPV positive.

WGACA · 21/09/2023 20:10

I would complain. My penultimate one was brutal and then it took me ages to come back. When I explained she said ‘it won’t have been my nurse, it’ll have been your cervix!’ My friend had a similar experience at a different doctor’s. If you can have it done at the hospital I would opt for that.

XenoBitch · 21/09/2023 20:11

YANBU. Complain!
Nurse 1 should have explained (and got your consent) for bringing in nurse 2, and nurse 2 should have introduced herself and explained everything she was doing.

It is stuff like this that puts women off having smears. It is all well and good being told that nurses have seen millions of vaginas, but yours is yours alone and you are a whole person with fears and bodily autonomy , not just a spread open fanny on a bed.

TheGreatHat · 21/09/2023 20:11

That is all so far from how it should be. Yes do complain if you feel up to it.

The only thing that was normal (in my experience) would be the nurse not being able to find your cervix. They can never find mine either! Next time you have one, tell the nurse that your cervix is hard to find and ask there is a better position for you to be in. What works for me is to put my fists in the small of my back, to tilt my pelvis, but I've also been told to get into the fetal position, with the top leg raised in the past

Liamgallaghersparka · 21/09/2023 20:14

I'm so sorry you went through this and I'm not at all surprised you put it off for so long, you have every right to complain 💐

Original poster
IfIHadAHeart · 21/09/2023 20:17

Thank you everyone for your replies. It sounds silly but it sort of makes me feel better to know I’m not overreacting.

I will complain to the surgery. Not in a horrible way, I don’t particularly want to get anyone into trouble, but No2 really did treat me as if I wasn’t actually there. It would have cost her nothing to say hello and explain what was going on, let me know I could tell her if I was getting too uncomfortable etc. I fully appreciate that not every medical procedure is pleasant, but I sort of think there needs to be extra sensitivity when it comes to this.

OP posts:
LadyCrazyCatLady · 21/09/2023 20:19

YANBU. As someone who performs intimate examinations for patients, this was unacceptable and I am sorry this happened to you.

It is basic human courtesy, even if not doing an intimate examination, to introduce yourself and your role to a person if you intend to touch them.

If doing such an examination, I always inform the patient that it's important that they know that they are in control and if they want me to stop for any reason they should say so or put their hand up.

I suggest that you feedback to the practice manager so they can enable the nurse to reflect on why this happened and ensure it does not happen again.

TomatoSandwiches · 21/09/2023 20:21

YANBU the second nurses behaviour was atrocious and the first one hardly better for not advocating for you knowing your situation.
Please make a complaint, they obviously need some more training.

Bibbetybobbity · 21/09/2023 20:22

Really disgusting behaviour, I hope you’re feeling ok this evening. Do complain, and bear in mind that you can do the swab at home (they only test for hpv, so that is easily replicated at home, minus the visual check). This is what I do now. It’s a game changer in terms of convenience and so much less stressful.

minipeony · 21/09/2023 20:23

That is absolutely awful. I've had to have examinations recently and have been super impressed with how they made sure I was comfortable and it was as dignified as it could be

ArcticBells · 21/09/2023 20:24

Nurse 2 was unprofessional and you need to flag this up with the lead GP.

Trenberling · 21/09/2023 20:25

YADNBU OP. That's appalling treatment. It's a shame you can't even rely on women to treat women properly.

I just can't do them anymore 😢
I am overdue now after previous experiences..

  • an agonising botched coil insertion (done by the GP) resulting in me passing out and requiring surgery under GA
  • a procedure require Gynae to examine me using speculum only to leave me legs akimbo, speculum in place, bleeding all over the bed to answer the damn phone and leave the door wide open into the corridor
  • then finally an agonising smear despite telling the nurse the above.

Needless to say I. Just. Can't. Anymore. 😢

heartofglass23 · 21/09/2023 20:27

This is why I don't go.

I'm sick of medical people treating bodies like objects getting in the way of them getting peace before home time.

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/09/2023 20:28

You never gave your consent to the second nurse, please complain.

minipeony · 21/09/2023 20:30

Not being funny but if women are going to feel comfortable in these spaces they need to buck their ideas up