To be so disappointed for DBF due to his mothers complete lack of maternal care

[workworkbloodywork]

So it is my DBFs birthday soon, she messaged to say she had put a card with some money in the post for him.
No when are you free so we can go for breakfast / lunch / dinner?

she chose a man over him when he was little and so he was brought up by his father who did a brilliant job, albeit he worked full time so he had a lot of time alone growing up.

She just never outs him first or makes him feel like a priority. They only see each other at family functions and he really isn’t bothered about having a relationship with her at this point.

it’s just so heart breaking to see and feel his sadness over the situation. Part of me wants to call her up and call her out for being so shit to him but I’m not confrontational and don’t want to over step the mark but would I BU to do tell her a few home truths?

I’d feel sad for him too but it sounds as though perhaps he’s made his peace with the situation.

It’s hard to watch but it’s absolutely not your place to get involved and he won’t thank you for it.

He says that he has but then I see the sadness when he gets a text like that and shows it to me. It is like he is constantly getting his lack of love from her reinforced. He is too kind to go NC and wouldn’t want to hurt her after everything she has put him through. It’s just so sad he deserves so much better.

Many children grow up with dads being like his mum and make their peace in their own minds so they can live their lives.
I dont want people to feel sorry for me or pity me. It was his decision to be the way he was.

as others have said it isn't your place to say anything to his mum, it's his business. Leave well alone, if you say anything the chances are it will do you no good

I know that many face a life with shitty an absent fathers, I was myself from a broken home and my children endure the same fate.

it just seems so much harder to accept when it’s the mother that has been so crap.