I was recently in my Aunt's hometown for work and took the opportunity to meet up with her for dinner. I had not seen her since my grandma's funeral last year. We have an almost non-existent relationship, same thing stands for that entire side of my family.
She basically had a go at me the entire dinner, saying your grandad misses you, you should spend what little time he has left with him, he's depressed, I should go down and visit more etc. Making it very awkward. I feel bad for barely communicating but there is a very complicated dynamic. EVERY time we visited this family as a child it would end in a slanging match, my mum was constantly name called and treated poorly I.e. not offering food. I hate my grandpa's home as it just reminds me of dysfunction. My mum was once called a whore in front of me. My mum and that side are NC. So is dad really.
On top of not having the headspace to visit/care, my own father requires a lot of care having had serious health issues since I was a teen. After taking care of him and his needs (I meal prep for him, order medicine, drive him around to appointment etc - other sibling pitches in and does fair share) I have to live a life as I'm still relatively young.
It's funny cause I saw this aunt interact with her elderly uncle and she was rolling her eyes and pulling faces, don't exactly see her visiting any extended family. Plus her only son, who believe is close to our grandad, emigrated years ago.
AIBU to just forget they exist and focus on my immediate family who are supportive and whose company I actually enjoy. She did make an effort a few years ago but I just can't unsee past events.