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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childless dog owners at kids park

334 replies

Canisaysomething · 21/09/2023 09:43

My DCs school has a children’s park right outside. There is no fence around it and nowhere does it say “dogs not allowed”. Dog owners with children at the school let their dogs walk about the play area and this isn’t normally a problem at all.

Here is my AIBU. There’s become an increasing number of childless dog owners going to the park before and after school to let their dogs “socialise” with the children using the park. I had to ask a dog owner the other day to call their dog away from my child trying to use the swing and was shouted at by the owner who said “she’s just excited and trying to play”. The dog at one point chased after my child who got scared and upset.

Here’s my AIBU. Who was right? Me or the dog owner?

There were no signs saying “no dogs” but aren’t dogs meant to be trained NOT to bother strangers? Especially children in parks.

OP posts:
Shopper727 · 21/09/2023 09:46

A child’s play park is not a socialisation area for dogs. I have a dog but he plays where there aren’t kids, he’s big and bouncy and gets excited as loves kids - he thinks they are my kids so we avoid areas where small children are playing as it’s common sense, not to mention children can be scared of dogs or allergic so you’re not unreasonable op

some dog owners ruin it for those who do try to be considerate

Pootles34 · 21/09/2023 09:47

YANBU, obviously. If they are training their dogs to be used to kids, they should be training them to be well behaved around them, as you say.

yogasaurus · 21/09/2023 09:47

It’s not up to strangers and children to socialise other peoples dogs

NorthStarRising · 21/09/2023 09:48

YANBU
Dogs should leave people alone unless specifically invited to interact.
The play area should be fenced off, I’m surprised it isn’t tbh.

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 09:49

There’s become an increasing number of childless dog owners going to the park before and after school to let their dogs “socialise” with the children using the park.

I doubt this very much. I imagine just the one you’ve come across

meatbaseddessert · 21/09/2023 09:49

Not sure why you would make a difference between the 'childless' people socialising their dogs and the childed. What difference does it does it make?

vivainsomnia · 21/09/2023 09:49

You of course. It is a good idea to introduce younger dogs with children but that doesn't mean letting let loose to chase kids who are scared.

KimberleyClark · 21/09/2023 09:50

How do you know they are childless?

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 09:52

Dog owners with children at the school let their dogs walk about the play area and this isn’t normally a problem at all.

but you don’t like those without children (how the hell do you know?!) using the park with their dog

odd. Bod.

Alstroemeria123 · 21/09/2023 09:54

meatbaseddessert · 21/09/2023 09:49

Not sure why you would make a difference between the 'childless' people socialising their dogs and the childed. What difference does it does it make?

If someone’s there with children, the main purpose is presumably to let the kids play in the playground, dog is likely to be there because the child is.

It is very weird to go to a playground if you aren’t accompanying kids there. And a playground is not a place for socialising dogs, it’s for socialising children!

NorthStarRising · 21/09/2023 09:55

It does remind me of being in the park with my you her children, playing frisbee and a dog decided to join in and get over-excited, possessive and growling.
I asked the owner to control his dog, and he gave me a gobby ‘What’s your problem, only being friendly FFS’
Then his child ran up to me and said ‘Hello Mrs NorthStar! Daddy, this is my teacher for next year’
And I looked daggers at him, and he leashed his dog without a word. Child happily waved me goodbye.
The problem with a lot of dog owners is not only don’t they see a problem, there are no consequences other than other people’s distress, which they do t give a fuck about. As soon as he thought there might be a problem for him and his child, the aggro stopped and he controlled his dog.

KimberleyClark · 21/09/2023 09:59

Alstroemeria123 · 21/09/2023 09:54

If someone’s there with children, the main purpose is presumably to let the kids play in the playground, dog is likely to be there because the child is.

It is very weird to go to a playground if you aren’t accompanying kids there. And a playground is not a place for socialising dogs, it’s for socialising children!

Show quote history

Dogs are not allowed in the play area of my local park. That applies to all dogs, not just those owned by childless people.

Original poster
Canisaysomething · 21/09/2023 09:59

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 09:49

There’s become an increasing number of childless dog owners going to the park before and after school to let their dogs “socialise” with the children using the park.

I doubt this very much. I imagine just the one you’ve come across

No really, the park has become a meet up spot for dog owners socialising their dogs hence my post. It specifically happens when the park is busy before and after school so it’s definitely intentional.

There’s only a few of them but it’s enough to see a big change in how much the children are approached by the dogs as the dog owners with children at the school have a totally different attitude and aren’t a problem at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Canisaysomething · 21/09/2023 10:01

KimberleyClark · 21/09/2023 09:59

Dogs are not allowed in the play area of my local park. That applies to all dogs, not just those owned by childless people.

Edited
Show quote history

This is why I wasn’t sure if AIBU. There are no signs saying “dogs not allowed” and it isn’t fenced off. I assumed it’s standard manners to discourage dogs from approaching children but this group have the opposite opinion.

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 21/09/2023 10:01

I had to ask a dog owner the other day to call their dog away from my child trying to use the swing and was shouted at by the owner who said “she’s just excited and trying to play”.

Stupid woman. Her dog will get kicked (accidentally!) by someone on the swing if she's not careful.

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 10:01

Alstroemeria123 · 21/09/2023 09:54

If someone’s there with children, the main purpose is presumably to let the kids play in the playground, dog is likely to be there because the child is.

It is very weird to go to a playground if you aren’t accompanying kids there. And a playground is not a place for socialising dogs, it’s for socialising children!

Show quote history

Parents with CJ idlers at the school use the park after dropping off their children

are they odd too?

K1nga23 · 21/09/2023 10:02

Sorry for the silly question but what is a children’s park? Is it a playground or just a green? I haven’t heard the expression before

WeWereInParis · 21/09/2023 10:02

KimberleyClark · 21/09/2023 09:50

How do you know they are childless?

I think she means they don't have children with them at the playground.

Original poster
Canisaysomething · 21/09/2023 10:03

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 09:52

Dog owners with children at the school let their dogs walk about the play area and this isn’t normally a problem at all.

but you don’t like those without children (how the hell do you know?!) using the park with their dog

odd. Bod.

The school sends messages out to the parents to tell them to control their dogs at drop off and pick up, it’s the owners who aren’t part of the school community that are causing the issue. It’s not a dog bashing thread generally. It’s specific to the situation.

OP posts:
Alstroemeria123 · 21/09/2023 10:03

KimberleyClark · 21/09/2023 09:59

Dogs are not allowed in the play area of my local park. That applies to all dogs, not just those owned by childless people.

Edited
Show quote history

And I think that’s the most sensible rule.

But if dogs aren’t completely banned, it’s still weird for someone to take a dog to a playground if they aren’t also taking a child there (I agree it’s not about parents vs childless / childfree; for me it’s whether there’s a child with the dog owner at that specific point)

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 10:04

Canisaysomething · 21/09/2023 09:59

No really, the park has become a meet up spot for dog owners socialising their dogs hence my post. It specifically happens when the park is busy before and after school so it’s definitely intentional.

There’s only a few of them but it’s enough to see a big change in how much the children are approached by the dogs as the dog owners with children at the school have a totally different attitude and aren’t a problem at all.

Show quote history

But how do you know they’re “childless”??!

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 10:04

Alstroemeria123 · 21/09/2023 10:03

And I think that’s the most sensible rule.

But if dogs aren’t completely banned, it’s still weird for someone to take a dog to a playground if they aren’t also taking a child there (I agree it’s not about parents vs childless / childfree; for me it’s whether there’s a child with the dog owner at that specific point)

Show quote history

Did you see that parents drop their children and the go to the park, which the op is ok about

Thewizardbinbag · 21/09/2023 10:05

Just start kicking the dogs if they come near your kids. I know I’m going to get piled on for that but if owner’s won’t keep their dogs away from your kids and the dogs are chasing or bothering, then kick them away. My kid was attacked by a dog and now I have no patience for it and I refuse to take that chance again. If your dog starts chasing heading my kid, it’s getting kicked.

WeWereInParis · 21/09/2023 10:05

Ohambassador · 21/09/2023 09:49

There’s become an increasing number of childless dog owners going to the park before and after school to let their dogs “socialise” with the children using the park.

I doubt this very much. I imagine just the one you’ve come across

There was a thread just the other week on here from a dog owner asking if it was reasonable to take her dog to the school gates (her child was not at school) so it could get used to busy environments with children.