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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teenager and waxing

23 replies

pinku22 · 20/09/2023 22:08

DD is 13.10, she has been shaving legs and armpits for a while now.

She is now v embarrassed about her pubic hair. She asked for a thong to wear in PE (because all the girls do apparently! To avoid VPL in the leggings) now she's asking to wax as a girl pointed out her hair!!!

She is dark blonde but her leg and pubic hair is dark, she says it comes to the top of her legs and she wants to wax,

She's allergic to nair (we tried on her legs)

I get waxed monthly, DD had already asked for an eyebrow wax but now is adamant she wants her bikini line done.

Personally I think she should leave it but I know that she's embarrassed due to this other girl.

AIBU to let her have a wax?

At her age I was shaving but I don't want her to have to deal with the itchy regrowth.

OP posts:

WhyHasAllTheRumGone · 20/09/2023 22:09

Let her do it. It's her body and her hair. If that's what she wants, why not?

Freezingcoldinseptember · 20/09/2023 22:10

Her hair.. If she wants rid Yabu to say no to whatever means necessary...

Wat2do222 · 20/09/2023 22:13

Same boat OP although daughter is 12, I am considering laser for her as I went through years of hair related trauma but not until she's bit older (hormone changes etc) the only thing I would say is thongs are hot bed for thrush and unless she showers at school after PE and can change them I would give them a miss!

Mumof2teens79 · 20/09/2023 22:14

My eldest started getting a bikini wax at 14, but she is in leotards every day, she held out till 14 because she is fair, not sure I would encourage it if she was wearing leggings for PE. How long is she stood around that a thong matters?

You can buy electric trimmers just to remove excess hair and keep it shorter, so it stays within her knicker line? And encourage her to stop wearing thongs.

Janedoe82 · 20/09/2023 22:15

I don’t think beauticians are allowed to wax children until 16 but could be wrong.

fuckssaaaaake · 21/09/2023 13:16

Def help her with some kind of hair removal. I'm still cringing at how my pubes hung out of my leotard at gymnastics as my mum wouldn't let me shave

towriteyoumustlive · 21/09/2023 13:20

If it's VPL under leggings she's worried about then could she not wear "no VPL" shorts? I think M&S sell them.

What nice girls she goes to school with pointing out that someone has hair!

I'd issue her with some tweezers so she can pull out the ones that go over the pant line.

Cowlover89 · 21/09/2023 13:26

Let her do it

JoanThursday1972 · 21/09/2023 13:31

Yes go ahead.

I remember a girl at our school getting bullied about her eyebrows (think Brooke Shields). She started plucking and couldn't cope with it so used Immac on them and then plucked as they grew back. It's ironic as they actually looked amazing, but couldn't see it, and now she has had to go for microblading as they never grew back properly. She was called a witch and I recall the chanting "Witch plucked her eyebrows, witch f---ed her eyebrows" and she was so upset about it.

CurlewKate · 21/09/2023 13:35

Jesus-what sort of a world are we creating for our daughters?

ManateeFair · 21/09/2023 13:42

I think it's up to her. I used to shave my bikini line as a kid because I didn't want my pubes poking out of my swimming costume.

Nothing to do with wanting to look like a glamour model or being ashamed of having pubes in the first place, in my case - I always just feel like showing my pubes is like having my my fanny hanging out or something. To me it's different from armpit hair or leg hair, which are not shouting 'HELLO HERE ARE MY GENITALS EVERYONE' at people if they are revealed. But it's totally up to the individual and I think teenagers should have agency over their own bodies.

Tiamaria86 · 21/09/2023 13:45

CurlewKate · 21/09/2023 13:35

Jesus-what sort of a world are we creating for our daughters?

I don't think it's a new thing, I removed my hair because I swam and didn't want it peeking out of my swimming costume and that was 25 years ago.

Freezingcoldinseptember · 21/09/2023 13:50

Catching a glimpse of someone else's pubes is yuck.

Pruning ya bush is in everyone's best interests imo!!

Precipice · 21/09/2023 14:04

Freezingcoldinseptember · 21/09/2023 13:50

Catching a glimpse of someone else's pubes is yuck.

Pruning ya bush is in everyone's best interests imo!!

What a disgusting remark. OP says her daughter is concerned about pubic-style hair on the top of her legs. It's just leg her that looks more in the style of pubic hair (probably darker and curlier than hair on the calves). There's no 'yuck' about this - it is leg hair.

The thong is the problem, with the accompanying concern about how much it is not covering. Getting some normal underwear that covers properly will do her much better. More broadly, OP, you should talk to her about not blindly following whatever 'fashion' she sees/hears about in the changing room (first the thong, now this), about standing up for herself against such ridiculous remarks and telling the other girls to stop looking so much at her changing, and you might talk to her form teacher about remarks of this kind so that they can do a general talk about appropriate behaviour in the changing rooms and against bullying.

jays · 21/09/2023 14:21

CurlewKate · 21/09/2023 13:35

Jesus-what sort of a world are we creating for our daughters?

I was the same 35 years ago at school for swimming lessons, don’t want anything visible. I’d have been mortified, I guess to me it was part of my private areas so I don’t want that on show.

jays · 21/09/2023 14:23

towriteyoumustlive · 21/09/2023 13:20

If it's VPL under leggings she's worried about then could she not wear "no VPL" shorts? I think M&S sell them.

What nice girls she goes to school with pointing out that someone has hair!

I'd issue her with some tweezers so she can pull out the ones that go over the pant line.

OP do not issues your dd with tweezers and suggest she plucks out pubic hairs! Jeez, my eyes are watering, that would be prolonged, unbearable agony!

CurlewKate · 21/09/2023 14:28

Don't tell her to pluck! If she already shaves and does it efficiently and safely, tell her to shave the hairs that show.

ExplodingCarrots · 21/09/2023 14:32

My DD is the same but she's a lot younger .she was mortified when she put her swimming costume on for holiday and you could see hair at the sides . So I've bought her electric trimmers and she trims the sides with her costume on . I really feel for her as she's really dark . She's too young to wax but I'd consider it from 14 plus .

CinnamonBear · 21/09/2023 14:33

How depressing that they are wearing clothes that require wearing thongs. FFS.

Shaving/trimming is probably the best at that age. But the upkeep is such a pain in the ass. Kids shouldn't have to waste their time or worry about crap like that.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 21/09/2023 14:35

towriteyoumustlive · 21/09/2023 13:20

If it's VPL under leggings she's worried about then could she not wear "no VPL" shorts? I think M&S sell them.

What nice girls she goes to school with pointing out that someone has hair!

I'd issue her with some tweezers so she can pull out the ones that go over the pant line.

Waxes are painful!! I'd also suggest no vpl pants....

SirenSays · 21/09/2023 14:42

Before diving into waxing I'd suggest she try a trimmer and seamless thongs (some are quite wide at the front so should provide decent coverage) If shes adamant about waxing I'd suggest she try waxing her legs first to see how she handles the pain.

Mumof2teens79 · 21/09/2023 16:37

Salons are definitely allowed to wax under 16.
I contacted the salon first to check. DD has now used 4 different salons as an U16 (if she can't get appointment at her favourite) some need me to go in and sign some forms, others don't. At first I went with her, now I just drop her off.

She doesn't find it painful at all, and doesn't even flunch, but she does have fine hair.

towriteyoumustlive · 21/09/2023 17:04

jays · 21/09/2023 14:23

OP do not issues your dd with tweezers and suggest she plucks out pubic hairs! Jeez, my eyes are watering, that would be prolonged, unbearable agony!

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It doesn't hurt in the slightest!

Or I have an unusually high pain threshold?!?!?

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