Anyone else's dc struggling with the senior school transition?

[smellykelly23]

Ds11 started high school a few weeks back having spent 7 years at a lovely, small village school. It has come as quite the shock to the system. He's doing ok but has lost a few bits - books, timetable, pe shorts and an after school club he was meant to attend - but his work and behaviour is good.

He just seems so sad. He struggles with the amount of people, the pushing and shoving, keeping track of him homework, the 'nasty' kids. He's been shoved over twice by the same boy and had to speak to the head of year about it. Then to make matters worse his dad (my ex) has already had a go at him about 'getting on with it and growing up' very much against my wishes.

He seems nervous and overwhelmed. I'm trying to keep the communication open between us and encourage him to talk to me about anything that's bothering him but I can already sense him retreating into himself. I know it's part of life and growing up but it's worrying to see.

Anyone else's kids going through or been through this?

I think it's common. My DS is an outgoing organised boy but he's so tired. It's so different to wandering down to his little village primary at 0850.

Now he's at the bus stop in the rain at 0740, and not back till 1615.

A few tears this morning as he couldn't find his geography book and can't remember if the teacher took it in. He is worried about getting in trouble.

Tried to explain that teachers will be understanding and that chances are the teacher has it. And that if not, just be honest and say you looked and you can't find it. Told him about various mistakes I've made at work lately and had to sort out - that people are much more forgiving and understanding than we imagine.

Also I did say this has been a really tough week hasn't it (it has, rain terrible and I have been away at work more than usual so not at home when he and his sister get back). I said next week will be easier.

That seemed to help, to know that your mum understands even if she can't change it.

And I think from his dad he is getting the other important message that sometimes things are new and out of your comfort zone, and you have to try to settle and adapt and get on. This is also important although maybe your ex DH could phrase it better.

There is so much to deal with each day, especially when you have disruptive kids who can ruin every lesson for those who want to work. Some of the disruptive kids will be having their problems and using disruption as an ill advised coping strategy.

It’s really difficult to be thrust at 11 into a community of 1000 - most of us are in workplaces smaller than that. I’m glad to see that there seems to be more help and understanding around nowadays.

Yea my daughter just couldn’t cope, despite everything the school out in place for her (special lessons, skipping all the lessons she didn’t like, animal encounters, all her break times spent with SENCO) I took her out of school after a couple of months as she was just soooo nervous and unhappy.

Are you still around? I’ve read this thread over and over trying to find some sense / peace / way forward and am feeling so conflicted about what to do about my daughter who sounds to be feeling very similar to your son. I dropped her off this morning and she threw up twice at the school gates with nerves. I’m desperate to pull her home but know that will not necessarily help… wondered whether you might be willing to chat with me on here somehow?