Partner not helping me

[FTM1333]

My partner doesn't help me he's just came back from a stag for 4 days hungover to death I've been here alone with our 7 month old and he's just came back went to sleep got up and wants a Chinese not offering to help me with anything I dunno if I'm just all in my feelings. He does work hard Monday-Friday so I can be a Sahm but I've kinda had enough today.

Sorry OP, but it sounds like you're another one who's had a baby with a complete waste of space bloke, and you've not even got the security of being married. Where was your head at to commit to having a baby under these circumstances? Did you by any chance think that having a baby would change him? Is he always as useless and selfish as you've made him sound? If so, I'd dump him now, and move on, as things are unlikely to get better.

What’s he like normally?

Tbh it's not something I noticed until I had a baby i think I just never realised before as it was just us and no one else was involved.

Have you tried talking to him about the fact that while you might have been happy to put up with him doing nothing around the house, etc. before your baby came along, you now need him to take his fair share of the chores, looking after baby etc.,
etc? The reason I ask this, is that so many women expect men to know that these things need doing, and then get upset because they don't do them, but most men have been brought up by mothers who have always run around picking up after them, and never insisted that they do a fair share of the chores whilst growing up, so then, they expect their GF or DW to follow up in DM's place. I've been with my DH for 30 years now, and was asked recently what our secret is. The answer? COMMUNICATION!! Tell him what you want from him, and then if he fails to do it, walk away, as you really won't change him, if he doesn't want to change. I would also ensure that he knows, that his 4 day stag does, mean that you too are entitled to a 4 day break, on your own or with your friends, family, etc., and that means that HE then takes responsibility for the home and your baby!

Make plans to go back to work.

It depends really. If I'd been on a four day hen weekend, I'd also be knackered and craving a takeaway, and I think I'd feel entitled to both the stag do and the takeaway if I worked hard to be the sole breadwinner to enable my partner to stay at home.

If he never does anything round the house/with his child, or moans about whenever he's asked, then yes, he's a twat. But if it's just the day he has returned from a stag do with a stinking hangover, I wouldn't be too bothered. Also, he's suggested ordering a Chinese, so it's not like he's demanding you cook for him.

Basically, look at his general pattern of behaviour (and whether he would understanding if the situation was reversed) rather than just this one occasion. If this is only an occasional thing then it's not a big deal, but if this is his default setting, that's a different kettle of fish altogether!

Get a job and ditch his arse. Don't have any more babies until you are earning enough to support them yourself. Work on your self esteem and critical thinking skills so you give the next useless arsehole a swerve before it's too late.

It is not helping you. It’s his job as a father that he is incompetent at and not fulfilling. The baby is not just your responsibility. You also need downtime. You should probably get back to work reasonably soon and dump this loser.

It's not "helping". It's making an appropriate contribution to ensuring that the home is run effectively.

If he doesn't do that you can exercise your right not to put up with it.

Get a job.
Gain your financial independence.

You are vulnerable as an unmarried partner
If I was you I would look to get a shop sooner rather than later