To expect my own dad to care

[CrazyDawgLady]

I am really struggling financially just now like most people. Just buying food and covering bills has went beyond being a bit tight. I have 3 children 14, 10, 3. I asked my dad if he could help me out with some money to buy food. He said no he couldn't, he didnt have any. He said he only has enough to cover his own bills till he next gets money. I totally understand and appreciate that he is also financially worse off, with the cost of living crisis etc. The thing thats really hurting is he knows i dont have food to fed the kids and not once has he texted or phoned to see if I/we are okay. If it had been one of my kids that had phoned me and i genuinely couldn't help them i would be worried sick. I would have phoned them later that day to see if they had some how managed to get some food. Its been a week now and i haven't heard from him. He never asked how long till i next get paid? He is retired and doesn't have any commitments he is not busy. He sits and waches tv all day. I am an only child so its not like he is busy with other family members. I just cant get my head around the fact that it just feels like he just doesn't give a flying F#$k about me and his grand kids. May i also add my kids only grand parent. I dont know if i should tell him how i feel or ask him why. I just dont even know if its worth it.

I know what you mean. My father is similar and it is hurtful. It's like he doesn't have a normal human emotional response.

I think you're hurt because you choose to put yourself out for him, but he doesn't do the same in return.

From your posts, it sounds like your relationship is very one-sided. You're the one who calls, you're the one who invites him places, you're the one offering help all the time - it's not very healthy. I know he's your dad but unfortunately that doesn't necessarily mean he's a good person.

I know it hurts - I have a very strained relationship with my own dad but honestly, it hurts less when I don't put in the effort and get rejected. You can be happy without needing your dad to comfort you - I promise

They are so lucky to have you. 🙂

Exactly, thats madness. I suppose its just making me even more determined to get out of this situation and makesure i never make my children feel this way. I would love be in the position to give my own an easier life especially if they have worked so hard. A way of showing them how proud i was of them.