To wonder how women make relationships work?

[GlitterGlobe30]

Everyone around me is getting engaged and married and having kids and I'm 30 now and have only ever had unsuccessful relationships.

I've had 2 serious relationships. The first one ended because he was a nightmare to live with. Never did any housework, expected me to pick up after him. He was also terrible with money and getting into debt. He was very selfish and I was always having to go along with what he wanted to do as my opinions weren't even considered. His constant sexist jokes from him and his friends made me miserable.

My most recent relationship was good for the most part but at the end he went back to university and he started to prioritise his new friends over me which made me feel awful so that didn't work out either.

What's women's secrets to making a relationship work? Is it a case of being more tolerant of how they treat you? I'm sure some will say I just haven't met the right person yet but I have dated so many men! I feel like I'm missing something here and messing it all up!

I have only ever dated men who I also could have been friends with

I could never be friends with a misogynist arsehole selfish person, so would not date them either

Basically you'd have to be able to like them even "just" as friends before you can even consider them

Sounds like your relationships are working out fine for you actually. You recognise when something isn't working for you and you move on...good for you!

A lot of women "make relationships work" by normalising bad behaviour and accepting that this is just a "women's role"
So if you want to prioritise having a long relationship over being happy and treated well then do that.

Otherwise, there are decent men out there but you have to kiss a few frogs before you get to them.

I guess maybe I just haven't found the right man yet then. 12 years of dating with no luck though - it's not looking very promising!

With the second guy, we got on really well and he talked about marriage and everything until he started uni and then he just kind of cast me aside to spend almost every evening with his new friends and he had hardly any time left to spend with me and it just bothered me so much. Surely if he cared for me, he'd want to spend the same amount of time with me as he did his friends, if not more.

A romantic partner and a friendship group bring completely different things. I personally have always sought to keep friendships running they fulfil me in a different way to my DH of almost 25 years.

What sort of amount of time spent together was you versus the friends.

Being at uni is very different from other adulting.

Keep your standards high my love 🙌🏻

If you don’t think you’re special and worth being treated right, nobody will!!

For me it is not settling and knowing what kind of man you need. I always said I want a husband that helps me to be my best version, who sees my strengths and helps me with my weaknesses. With all other men before my now DH it was like I was trying to make it work, ignore things that annoyed me, I felt
Something was missing.

With my DH we have same mentality about fundamental things, I don't feel like I am dating down, I can talk to him about absolutely everything. Since the beginning I feel like he is meeting me mentally on the same level, he gets me, I can be myself. I know together as a team we deal with any challenges life throws at us. I know I can count on him at all times. I feel like I have arrived home with him, I am in peace.

Finding the right man isn’t easy and they turn up at all sorts of places, I found mine at a Rugby match, no instant connection then he asked for a date, initially I said maybe, then 2 minutes later phoned back and I took him to the theatre. That was good, as we walked home hand in hand I knew he was the one, we have very similar interests and do most things together, he fun to be with, to sleep with, that’s what makes it work