Something weird has happened to me since being on maternity leave and it’s really affecting my life

[prwl]

I know this will sound weird but I can’t talk to anyone about this IRL, I’m too embarrassed. It’s probably relevant that I am a lone parent and have spent huge amounts of time only with my baby in the last 8 months. I am usually a very sociable person so it was an adjustment to be on my own so much with a baby.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that I can’t stop talking when in conversation. I don’t know when to stop or how. I’ve had back to work meetings, calls with nursery, the GP etc and every time it’s like I have verbal diarrhoea, I really can’t explain it well. I get really awkward and just say things without even realising I’m doing it until it’s said. I absolutely hate it, not sure if it’s a nervous thing?! I have quite a stressful and highly responsible job and I am so worried this is going to happen at work. I want to hide away.

I hate to trot out the anxiety thing but it sounds like me when I get anxious/nervous. Are you feeling anxious?

You poor thing. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure coping mechanisms are available. Perhaps it will wear off naturally now you get to talk to grown ups more? Being alone with a baby for a long time can definitely have an effect!

This is me when I'm tired. So, this was normal for me for about a year every time I had another baby.

It’s the sleep deprivation! Plus spending all day talking nonsense to someone who can’t talk yet. It’ll wear off, don’t worry

It's called exhaustion!
It won't last forever.
Still happens to me when I've worked too many hours over several weeks without a proper break.

Yeah I do this. Spend most of the time with my one year old. Go on the school run and talk more than I want. Probably a bit of loneliness as well I think?

I found the same after a period of illness and not socialising. It could in part be anxiety, but I think that it is common when you get out of the habit of chatting. Your social skills will come back.

No idea if it's true, but someone told me about a similar thing in Australia with people who live out in the sticks. They come into town now and then and can't stop talking. Apparently it's called going 'bushy'.

I think it's probably the lack of adult contact. I remember during lockdown, meeting another dog walker face to face and the two of us just talked at each other for 20 mins. I think we were just desperate for some different human contact! If you spend all your time with a baby on your own, then I don't blame you for wanting to talk when you are with adults.

If it is caused by isolation, can you book on phonecalls with friends, relatives etc? To get more used to talking again and importantly to stopping talking so you can listen?

I've been back at work after mat leave for 4 months now, I had a year off. I was like this when I first went back, partner is a police officer so I had lots of time alone with our baby. Its wearing off now that I get to speak to adults again

You would do well to practice mindfulness, it'll help you be more in control of yourself.

Thanks all, it’s really bothered me recently, I can feel myself unable to stop!

This is why I talk to myself! I'm quite serious - after I first became ill and had to spend most of my time at home alone, I was getting massive verbal diarrhoea ANY time there was an adult to speak to. Checkout people, bus drivers, anybody!

I reckoned it was a better idea to have a normal amount of conversation, even if it was by myself. I ramble to myself, talk to the TV, yammer away on here (in writing, with verbal commentary 😏) and, when I have a pet, I talk to them as if they were adult humans 😂

Good news: although babies ARE wired to respond to baby talk, speaking to them as adults improves verbal reasoning when they get older. Time to start chatting to your LO about your day, dilemmas, opinions, news & gossip!

Just get it out of your system. When you're back at work, you'll be golden.

I agree with this. I've WFH for almost 4 years now and everything has become heightened. Day to day conversations, nipping to the shops etc suddenly become much bigger than they are and I feel like I don't know how to have an adult conversation anymore!

I’m on maternity leave too and I do feel like I’ve lost a good chunk of social skills. Spending my days with the baby and Miss Rachael or Bluey have taken their toll.

I have a six month old and have just returned to work. I was EXACTLY the same. Still am slightly but it calmed a lot.

Not sure if it was a combination of excitement to talk to adults, anxiety, the overwhelming life change that maternity can be. It’s calmed a lot though. You’re all good!

You sound lonely and exhausted and it's normal