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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should we move from London to Stroud?

54 replies

CactusMactus · 18/09/2023 17:17

My partner of 16 years wants us to move to Stroud... We currently live in London as do most of my family. A lot of our friends have left london over the years but we have a great community of neighbours.
I have never lived in the countryside neither have our kids 8 & 10! I'm sure it's lovely but I feel like life would be totally different and that there is no coming back... part of the reason would be to sell our spendy London house and buy something cheaper so we might, just be able to pay off our mortgage before we die!

Also, London secondary schools (near us) are a bit rough. I went to a London secondary school in a pretty decent area and it was chaos....
AIBU to be scared as hell?

OP posts:
Parsley1234 · 18/09/2023 21:30

I live in Nailsworth which is nicer than Stroud much nicer but am looking to move back to London after bringing my son up here. It’s very dull not much going on - Stroud is awful deprived and everything is closing down

londonrach · 18/09/2023 21:33

We family near by ...Stroud is very down-market and hate the roundabout upon roundabout near merrywalks....love circenster so maybe look slightly further afield

Fbawtft · 18/09/2023 21:34

Look at Wotton Under Edge. Closer to Bristol and schools are better if you don’t want grammar. And it’s much nicer than Stroud

Whattodo121 · 18/09/2023 21:42

I wouldn’t live in Stroud for love nor money. Grew up in Cheltenham and had a boyfriend who lived there when I was in my late teens. It had such a strange vibe, I never liked it, ever. Just felt rough and threatening somehow.

barelyfunctional · 18/09/2023 21:48

Stroud is getting rapidly worse, lots of street drinking and drugs about, can’t go into town without being harassed by weirdos, loads of the shops are empty with more soon to close. A few really nice independent shops and things like the market are lovely but it’s more of a place to visit for the day than to live (saying that as someone who has lived very close to the town centre for nearly 10 years and locally for almost 30 years) plus the popularity with people wanting to move out of London means house prices are ridiculous so those of us who have lived in the area our whole lives can barely afford to now

TheFairyCaravan · 18/09/2023 21:56

No, don’t do it.

I grew up near Stroud. I went to school there and worked there until i was 21 then I escaped, thankfully. It’s a dump, frankly. My parents lived in a village on the outskirts, until they recently moved, and when I used to go back I couldn’t understand the hype about Stroud. The best bit about it is the journey back home tbh.

cakehoover123 · 18/09/2023 22:03

Stroud is pretty, but very druggy for teens from what I hear. Combination of permissive parents, entrenched local drug culture, and not much else for kids to do in the countryside. Like Hebden/Todmorden in that regard.

Adventureplease · 18/09/2023 22:03

We considered Stroud, but after visiting for a day it was a firm no from all of us.
Cheltenham is nice and has lots going on, although it does have some areas to avoid.
Cirencester is lovely and has great markets, restaurants, theatre etc, if you like a rural town, but houses are definitely more expensive than Stroud.

SkaneTos · 18/09/2023 22:09

Does your partner have a connection to/knowledge of Stroud, since your partner wants to move there?

Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 18/09/2023 22:48

I loved living in Stroud. Its like a worn, grubby but comfy jumper you've had for years! Def very alternative/hippy. Secondary options are very good. I had lots of London friends who moved for the country living (which, by the way, if you were like us and lived properly rural before this, it really isn't. But I guess for Londoners it feels that way!), and I'd say half loved the new way of life and the other half hankered for their London life.
I really liked nailsworth as others have said. I would definitely not wanted to live in Cirencester. Cheltenham is definitely a safer bet if you're not sure.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 18/09/2023 22:50

There's got to be some middle ground closer to London

Doneinpigeon · 18/09/2023 22:55

I believe it’s called Cheltenham

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 18/09/2023 22:57

Stroud used to be known as the meningitis capital of England. Perhaps that’s over now.

zeddybrek · 18/09/2023 23:04

Rent your place!
We left London to go to the home counties and came back after 4 years. Thankfully we rented our place otherwise we would have been priced out. It took us 4 years to feel bored. Also we have come back and our kids do brownies, tennis, swimming in the lido and reservoir and a million other activities. It's a myth London kids don't get to do as many things. We also spend a lot of time in parks. It feels the best of both worlds. I would pretend you have a year 6 child and actually go and visit your local secondary schools first to see for yourself. I have also been to Stroud. Very beautiful but got bored by day 3.

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 18/09/2023 23:10

Reading this thread made me laugh. My wider family live in Stroud, they love it, their kids have all done very well at school (comprehensive not grammar) and no drug issues. They are though all very alternative, very home knit museli types. The kids all seemed happy there but they are also quite alternative too, all went to woodcraft folk etc. It's not my cup of tea and wouldn't suit me, but if they sound like your people you might be very happy there. Some of our best friends live in Cheltenham, they really like living there, they enjoy the variety of bars and restaurants & the different festivals during the year. I like the hare statue with the massive willy but then I'm a 13 year old boy in a 43 year old woman's body.

Abetterplaice · 18/09/2023 23:36

Fbawtft · Today 21:34

Look at Wotton Under Edge. Closer to Bristol and schools are better if you don’t want grammar. And it’s much nicer than Stroud

I agree with this (but don't tell everyone about Wotton, it's a well kept secret). Wotton is smaller than Stroud and if that's not what you are looking for then look at Bristol. I'd suggest a weekend in the area looking at Stroud, Wotton & Nailsworth and a day in Bristol.

TheFairyCaravan · 19/09/2023 07:43

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 18/09/2023 22:57

Stroud used to be known as the meningitis capital of England. Perhaps that’s over now.

I was 16 when that was going on. I’m 52 now.

RedPony1 · 19/09/2023 09:44

i'd lie in Stroud any day over London!! You couldnt pay me all the money in the world to live in a city.

But people are right, Cheltenham would be a nice compromise

Original poster
CactusMactus · 19/09/2023 11:13

He has family connections to Cheltenham and grew up in rural Gloucestershire - but admittedly moved to a big city as soon as he could!
Also has friends that moved to Stroud who all think it's wonderful.
Most of my friends have moved to Kent or Cornwall - both lovely but neither feel right for us.

OP posts:
Mirabai · 19/09/2023 11:51

If you’re in Cheltenham and you drive then Stroud is not that far.

clarrylove · 19/09/2023 12:08

I live in Stroud. It is an odd place. Has been totally inundated with Londoners lately, not sure why. Housing is difficult to find, renting impossible. It's very hilly so may not suit you if you are keen on cycling.

Stroud is the home of Extinction Rebellion and public protest and that vibe is very apparent. Lots of graffiti and drug taking, hippy vibe. The town centre has always struggled, recently has lost Peacocks, M&Co, Poundland and now Wilko and Halfords. Only really charity shops and coffee shops left. Postal service barely functioning, no NHS dentists, GPs and pharmacies stretched to their limit. Roads very congested - huge housing developments towards the M5 cause chaos at peak times.

Schools, what others said. My two are at the Grammar. I don't rate the comp.

For a night out we would go to Chelt or Bristol however Bristol is in a separate train line so getting their is problematic and trains to/from Chelt don't work late at night. Be prepared to drive everywhere!

Original poster
CactusMactus · 19/09/2023 12:33

Can I ask - is there ill feeling towards Londoners? My friend had an awful time when she first moved to Cornwall from London... all fine now but took years to be accepted.

OP posts:
CalistoNoSolo · 19/09/2023 12:47

I really don't like stroud. It's an arse to get to, an arse to get around, has some of the most stupidly narrow and steep roads known to humankind and is full of weirdos. Stroud High School (girls grammar) and Marling (boys grammar) are both excellent but the comp is awful. There is a major drug problem in stroud and some of it is rough as fuck. You seriously couldnt pay me enough to live in stroud. If you want Cotswolds try Cheltenham, Cirencester, Burford, Oxford. If you want an easy trip to London/airports try Highworth, Blunsdon or Swindon.

CalistoNoSolo · 19/09/2023 12:50

CactusMactus · 19/09/2023 12:33

Can I ask - is there ill feeling towards Londoners? My friend had an awful time when she first moved to Cornwall from London... all fine now but took years to be accepted.

None at all, but the cotswolds is full to bursting with London hedge funders and fewer and fewer born and bred locals can afford to love here now.

1dayatatime · 19/09/2023 12:54

CactusMactus · 19/09/2023 12:33

Can I ask - is there ill feeling towards Londoners? My friend had an awful time when she first moved to Cornwall from London... all fine now but took years to be accepted.

No ill feeling towards Londoners in Stroud especially given that there has a large number of people moving to Stroud and surrounds. Personally I would look at the surrounding very nice villages around Stroud rather than Stroud itself.

On Cornwall I think it is very different given there is a distinct minority status and identity with many who do see themselves as English.