To really hate being a school governor and want to step down after two years

[kevinknowsimmiserabletho]

My DC are all grown up and as I have more time on my hands these days I volunteered to be a governor at the school they attended.

I've been doing it for two years now, so I feel I've really given it a go.

But honestly, I hate it.

I don't mind attending meetings etc and giving my time it's not the hard work element as such. Just the actual make up of the board and the fact that I seem to be there to be a bum on a seat rather than because anyone is paying attention to anything I have to say.

I feel like it's a lot of responsibility but I can hardly influence anything at all and have to go along with the status quo or upset the clique of people who have been there for years.

It's a four year time but honestly I feel so miserable I just want to stand down.

WIBU just to go? If it was a job I would have resigned by now.

I've wondered if charity governance is any difference but I've worked in the third sector for years and every Trustee meeting I've ever been to has been dominated by one figure who tells everyone else what to think.

I do actually already have two other volunteer roles and a rewarding job so I'm not sentimentally attached to the idea of volunteering, if that makes sense.

I could have written your OP pretty much word for word. They say that want a parents view but when I give that it's eye-rolls and 'whatever', pretty much. In my case I think it's that a new chair is very much needed but until that day it's her way or the highway. So I'm out.

That’s really sad. I’m on a governing body and we’re seen as part of the school. The teachers make us really welcome whenever we go in. Everyone’s opinion is welcomed and valued, we would hate for anyone to feel that things are rubber stamped, or that there are cliques. We are strategic but occasionally help operationally - I’ve supported an area in my expertise for example.
The head welcomes questions and challenges and things do change because of our input especially our knowledge of the local area. I enjoy it, but if I would step away if I had to go through what you describe, as I wouldn’t feel valued.

I'm sorry to hear you've had that experience. It really sucks.

Do you have an exit plan in mind or have you already stood down?

Another thing I'm not happy about is being paired with a 'buddy' who undermines me in front of staff.

A couple of times I've emailed her privately to ask her opinion on things then she's copied in the Deputy Head and made a point of belittling me in front of her.

So now the Deputy Head talks down to me as well, which is a lovely dynamic.

I'm actually really glad you're having a good experience as I feel sure it must be nice somewhere!

I actually really like the head, she is lovely and welcoming. It's board I struggle with.

Staff can be co-opted governors.

Governors are not meant to go in and teach. They are meant to be strategic in their role. You can of course be supply and a governor. I had a governor in school 1 I mentioned who saw her role as providing cakes for the staff room. Did nothing else at all.

@kevinknowsimmiserabletho I have had a few months/years when I’ve been pleased with making a difference at the school. School 1 for 2 years worked pretty well. However the people around you make a huge difference. Control freaks, people who don’t do any training, people who simply want to turn up (or don’t very often) are a total pain. I’ve seen them all and I was a clerk too! That’s why I was parachuted into school 1. I would never go near it again.

Can relate. I did it for 3 years and felt I wanted to do a good job and do it properly, but the training and supposed support was a waste of time. Even the local authority new Governor courses were aimed at people who have worked in schools and knew all the jargon. It was complete box ticking at my school and I didn't want my name associated with being a school governor if I wasn't doing it properly. Save yourself the anxiety and resign!

Thank you and I'm sorry you had that experience.

I'm really glad you had a positive experience in one school, it's good to know that it is possible!

I find being a governor very hard - huge amounts of work and time preparing for meetings, ploughing through data and policies, pinning staff down for specific visits. I don’t have a background in education so it’s also a lot of jargon to absorb too.

But our school is very open to supportive challenge. It’s been good for them to have governors from different backgrounds to say “so why DO you do it like that?” It’s been good for me to deal with some really difficult scenarios, and rewarding to know I’ve helped support leaders through them.

I will probably do one more term then call it a day. There is no way I would be doing it if it were a box-ticking exercise. It’s a serious commitment and you really aren’t obliged to keep going, especially if school aren’t open to the kind of scrutiny governors should provide.

Thank you, I do really appreciate hearing the positive stories!

Random question for the clerks or ex clerks, who line mange(d) you? Is it the board or the school?

100% my experience, except I didn’t get to go on the training because it was always at 4.30pm (again presumably aimed at people working in school), when I had the children home from school. I was on a sub-committee where everyone else was a teacher or ex-teacher, that was just baffling. Felt totally out of my depth and as you say didn’t want to stay in the role when I knew I wasn’t really contributing. I wrote to the chair saying I had other commitments which would unfortunately prevent me from continuing and would advise OP to do similar.

Critical friend role. If you can't be that then there seems little point.

Life is wayyyy to short to be volunteering in a role you had, whatever the reason is that you hate it.

Move on. People resign from all roles for so many reasons. I really wouldn't spend another moment worrying about it.

I know you’re having a tough time but you don’t have to be so sarcastic and bitter 👀 that’s what this reply is coming across as to me anyway.

Were you on the HTPM committee?

Well you should report to the board, via the chair.

But it varies school to school on paper - like some contracts say head teacher, others the businesss manager.

Generally no one actually does it.

Just resign. Don't be a school governor if it is not for you. Most governing bodies have a clique of long-serving influential governors who get their own way.

I was on the appropriate committee @RedLollyYellowLorry . Why do you ask?

Oh I'm sorry you were offended by that. If you check upthread I'd already responded to that poster on this point and this response was part of a continuing conversation. It wasn't a snarky one liner, it is nice for them all. I think you'll find I've said to a lot of posters that I'm happy it's worked out for them?

I'm a school governor as well, didn't really want to take it on as already work a lot and young DC but wanted to support the school. It's quite a lot of meetings but a wonderful small specialist school so I enjoy it and they are always so grateful as no other parent seems interested in the role. I wouldn't like it in the environment you describe though, you as a volunteer are more important so they really should listen to you. Xx

I did it for a couple of years, and I left when my child left. I was a Parent Governor of a nursery school.

I actually wish that I had just stayed with it. Who else will hold these people to account? The only people who have actual power in schools really are the governors. Only the governors.

The longer the governors stay there, challenging the Head, the more chance they have of making a change.

Did it drive me out of my mind? Yes. Do I think that, by now, some of the things I was saying have turned out to be true and that I might have been able to have a bit more influence? Also, yes.

Because the pay committee is not the appropriate committee to challenge that it is the HTPM committee (who may have delegation to make a pay recommendation but may not).