To be hurt by these change of plans?

[LesMum98]

I’ve been with another woman for around 7-8 months now.

We had plans to go away this weekend (well Friday all day and most of Saturday), it’s been planned for 2-3 months now and I was really looking forward to it, had arranged childcare and someone to look after the dog, etc.

Something horrible happened to her last weekend, I dropped everything to be there for her and supported her through it all.

It comes to today and she suddenly turns around and says that she wants to go away this weekend by herself instead because she needs to process it. This is fair enough, however it just hurts because she has plans with other people Saturday night that she’s still carrying on with and she does a sport on Sunday that she’ll still go to, so it’s only me that she’s cancelling on and not wanting to spend time with - even though she was fine for me to be there to support her when it suited her.

She has form for this kind of stuff, constantly cancelling plans on just me, which sucks seeing as we hardly get time like this child-free together etc.

AIBU to be actually really hurt and disappointed by this or am I being selfish?

On the one hand, she sounds very flaky and self involved and it’s really hurtful she’s unilaterally deciding you can’t come and she’s still going. Plus she obviously hoovers up all the support you give her - which to you is no doubt a way of showing love and to her is a free snack.

But on the other hand, how bad was the really bad thing?

Why are you with someone who is treating you like this?

She's not that into you. You're being used. I'd end it now while it's still early days and it'll be easier to get over.

7/8 months in she's barely a partner yet, definitely should be in girlfriend territory and I wonder if you've moved too many steps along and are carrying her emotional baggage and being taken for granted?
maybe be less available to her and she might value you a bit more. But really that's bad advice because it suggests you should a) play games to get your needs met and b) stay in this not good relationship.

Dump her!

Sorry OP, but this is way too much drama for such a short relationship.

She obviously isn’t in the right headspace right now for a serious relationship. Or, she just doesn’t feel the same about you as you do her. It’s probably a mixture of both.

If you’ve lost any money from bookings politely ask that she transfers it to you, since she’d rather go alone.

Then block her and never speak again. It will be for the best.

7 months in surely just a gf? Seems you are more invested than her sadly...

She is way too much drama. Do yourself a favour and tell her it's over.

Thank you for all the responses, I’ve told her I’ve been let down and cancelled on one too many times and made my own plans for the weekend which I’m very much looking forward to - a spa day for me on Friday and a day out with my child on Saturday!