Hi, I need a little advice as I don’t know how to deal with my SIL.
Firsly, my husband and his family have been through a lot of tragedy in their lifetime. Him and his two sisters lost their mum in childhood and then his eldest sister several years ago (just before I met him). I can’t imagine the grief that they have all been through but unfortunately they were brought up to be emotionally distant as talking about feelings wasn’t encouraged.
When I met my husband his sister was very intense and tried to bond with me immediately (she was very close to her sister and no doubt still grieving). However, as years has passed my husband has tried to get to know his remaining sister more deeply but she’s just being very cold and distant. She now avoids both of us and doesn’t ask us any questions at all as I think she’s worried we’re going to try and get her to open up. We’ve realised she won’t do this and don’t push it but she’s completely stopped talking to us.
I come from a very open family where we talk about our feelings and so don’t know how to handle her. I get really annoyed because in freezing us out she’s also stopped asking about our daughter who she used ti be so close to.
I would love to just ask her if she’s okay but I know she would be defensive and not sure how to handle her? I decided to just text her now and then and ‘keep it light’ but all she does is reply to the text and never ask how I am. She’s just so cold and not sure if there’s anything I can do to help the relationship stay alive?