He didn't acknowledge my birthday

[georgewashere]

We've been dating for two and half months. I mentioned my birthday was coming up in passing and he doubled checked the date.

I wasn't seeing him anyway and I had plans, but he clearly forgot.
I don't care about grand gestures just a text would have sufficed.

To me this just tells me loud and clear I'm not important to him.

He's since seen something I posted so even if he had forgotten now knows and still no mention.

I'm already emotionally checking out - aibu to?

@Wibblywobblylikejelly just my take. Ive had longer shits

Fucking hell, it is so obvious he is not bothered. If he were really into you, he absolutely would have remembered your birthday. Accept it, tell him goodbye, and move on.

And did you take the shit out and hope it would mold into something better and more fulfilling?

Or did you accept it was just shit and flush it away?

IME, men don't think we're sulking if we don't reply to texts. Instead, they think we're busy doing something. Something exciting. Something more interesting than them.

Never ever be afraid to ignore a text. He'll picture you driving a car really fast/flirting with a stranger, wearing a backless dress/reconnecting with a rich ex/being lifted up in the air in a nightclub. He won't picture you fuming at home in a face pack and a dressing gown.

I agree.

OP he could have at least offered to take you out for coffee and cake and given you a card or a small bunch of flowers from the supermarket. There’s so many low key ways to celebrate with someone.

A guy I’ve been seeing for less than a month baked me one of my favourite cakes and took me out for dinner last week to celebrate a career achievement I had.

I don’t buy his response about not knowing 🤥 And even if he genuinely didn’t know, what’s stopping him from organising something now? The fact he most likely tried to pretend he didn’t know it’s your birthday suggests even he is aware he should’ve did something to mark it.

OP - it was my birthday yesterday and the guy I've been dating for a month really spoilt me. A card, flowers and an awesome puzzle thing we had to do together.
If they're interested then they show it - throw this one back

Some people (me) can't bear to be reminded of our birthdays; some don't regard birthdays as a big deal-maybe he's one of them. If he expects to have a fuss made of his birthday but ignores yours, that is a very red flag; but I wouldn't hold it against him for getting the date wrong, unless he seems generally indifferent or selfish overall.

You think so little of yourself that you would have been happy with a text?

He knows that. Which is why he didn’t care enough to mark the occasion.

The ‘normal’ in this scenario would be a birthday date and a small gift!

but there’s no reason for this guy to have assumed that she couldn’t bear to be reminded of her birthday , considering she went out of her way to mention to him she had an upcoming birthday.

The fact she mentioned it should be enough of a hint for him to ask her if she wants to do anything for it /get her a small gift. And now she’s said she was celebrating it, he should be in no doubt that she does indeed like to mark her birthdays.

As a pp said, how someone feels about their own birthday shouldn’t impact how they treat their partner on theirs.

@Wibblywobblylikejelly sorry, lost interest last night. Actually can't be bothered now either. See ya

Go with your gut. 10 weeks is more than long enough to know how to behave on your birthday. I had a boyfriend who had a birthday on day 10 of our relationship, coincidentally also the day I was going on a family holiday. We celebrated the night before, I gave him a card and a few small gifts, he dropped me at home on the day of his birthday so that we could see each other as much as we could before my flight. I knew what his birthday plans were; we of course discussed them because I wanted to know how he was spending the rest of his day. There was literally no way I could have forgotten his birthday.

On holiday I bought a variety of random birthday gifts; whiskey, a didgeridoo, some ornaments. The whiskey was an unexpected huge hit, as was one of the ornaments. The other things he appreciated (I think) as it showed I had been thinking about him, and the didgeridoo especially was pretty difficult to fly home!!!

20 years later, we’re happily married. When you’re smitten with someone, you make a huge effort because you really care about what they’re doing. I actually can’t believe he didn’t get you a gift - chocolate, perfume, jewellery or something more personal. There are so many options to just demonstrate he’s into you. He sounds completely uninterested in you, and as others have said, if he’s like this in the romantic love shower period (when I’m surprised you don’t get each other small gifts anyway - isn’t that what love is all about?!) he will be awful in the long run.

Get out now! As you said, you know your worth; and you’re worth so much more.