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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let DD have 6 after school activities?

39 replies

Carlessly · 17/09/2023 20:43

DD is in Yr 6. She currently does sport A on a Monday (pm) and Thursday (late); music lesson Wednesday after school then sport B Wednesday and Friday.

She wants to go to a third session of A on a Wednesday and then to sport B after (I would have to try to rearrange her music lesson).

Her argument is that several boys in sport B have either swimming or football before or after so it's not too much.

But is it? I'm not sure. But she's desperate to win a medal this season before she shifts age groups. Her coach is happy with her going twice a week as she's "missing" the other session for a sport. [I might have let him believe it's a time clash rather than a mummy thinks two lots of 1.5 hours training is too much for her psb😳]

OP posts:

user1846385927482658 · 17/09/2023 20:44

It seems unnecessary to me and I wouldn't be happy about doing two sports sessions on the same day. Over training is unhealthy.

Helpwithfamily · 17/09/2023 21:03

Sounds absolutely fine to me! What happens at the weekend and Tuesdays?

yelloworchids · 17/09/2023 21:10

If she wants to do it I’d let her, provided it works for you!
my DD is in a competitive sport and her schedule is similar although only 1 sport.
2 x 1.5 hours is a lot so could you see how it goes for a month (tell coach of sport A that sport B’s time is changing for a few weeks or something) and then decide if it’s too much or not?

NumberTheory · 17/09/2023 21:10

Is she getting injured, finding it difficult to concentrate in school, falling asleep during the day, failing to get her homework done, etc?

Our lives are generally far less physical than our bodies evolved to cope with, so two lots of sport on one day seem unlikely to be inherently harmful, though if she’s training at an elite level you should make sure she’s getting oversight from a sports doctor to ensure she’s not overdoing things.

Other than that if she wants to do it and it isn’t a strain on the rest of the family, no reason not to let her?

Glittertwins · 17/09/2023 21:15

We had a bit more than that at that age (training before school and evenings) and there were no problems with school and I did ask them to let me know if there were.

SavBlancTonight · 17/09/2023 21:18

As long as she can manage and get through homework etx, I don't see why not. DS plays 2 sports, at both school and clubs.so a minimum of 6 sessions per week, plus matches. It's fine.

Floralnomad · 17/09/2023 21:23

No harm in trying . When I was 11 I had a horse on DIY livery and did every morning before school and rode 6 evenings a week before putting the horse to bed and I survived .

arethereanyleftatall · 17/09/2023 21:27

Absolutely fine with me. I'm a swimmer, so we were training twice a day from about age 11. And bizarrely, the whole of my 'elite' squad at the club I swam at, were in grammar school. I totally believe in healthy body, healthy mind.

Smallbean27 · 17/09/2023 21:31

I used to play after school for 90 mins then go to club for 2 hours in an evening. No problems, a lot more energy than I have now!

Embarrassednamechangeadoddle · 17/09/2023 21:31

How is she coping.
it feels like way too much to me, but if she is not tired and is managing to do other things (like home work, seeing friends) then I’d be led by her.

Dramatic · 17/09/2023 21:32

If she's the one who wants to do it and she's not exhausted from it then I'd say yes it's fine.

WhateverMate · 17/09/2023 21:34

As long as she doesn't fall behind with her homework or it's not adversely affecting any siblings?

My DS had 3 friends who did an insane amount of sports both in and out of school and by year 6, they'd really fallen behind with their school work.

So it's something to keep an eye on.

lapsedbookworm · 17/09/2023 21:36

DD is year 5 and does 7 hours dance a week, and 3 hours theatre school on Saturday afternoons, and then at certain points she also has show rehearsals all day on Sundays.

All her choice, every opportunity she gets to dance she signs up for it!

The deal is that she has to keep on top of all her homework, and she's actually fab at always sitting down to do it after dancing.

Some children just love being busy I think. (Her brother by contrast is much more of a homebody, he does football twice a week, and an online club on zoom), that's enough for him.

DanceMumTaxi · 17/09/2023 21:37

If you can fit it in and rearrange music, I’d let her. My kids do loads of sports (well dd’s is all dance, but it’s bloody loads). It’s a bit chaotic for us, but they love it and get so much from it.

whatkatydid2013 · 17/09/2023 21:46

I can’t see the harm really. My 7 year old happily manages sports coaching club at school the 2 hours of dance back to back on a Monday and then also has beavers, swimming, choir, rugby, drama and another dance class through the week. Her elder sister does quite a bit as well (2 art clubs, choir, football, drama, cubs, rugby, computing) and wants to start doing netball in the morning before school. Think I find it far more stressful getting them to everything than they find doing it. I never intended to do that many clubs but it’s hard to stop once they get into things and schools are so badly funded to do some of this stuff and have such limited time for physical activity.

Original poster

Carlessly · 18/09/2023 06:16

Weekends she has matches all over - sport A once or twice a month. Sport B four matches this season (and two clash). She also has to support once in the season for the sport B league matches (although we could let this go and pay the full subs but until now she's always done it). We usually go somewhere as a family one day too (bike, walk, swim etc)

School work is a bit of a drama at the moment but that's because she's been ill recently (and missed 8 days) and is still playing catch up.

usually DH works from home that day so DS would usually be covered. MIL would certainly come if asked.

OP posts:

TheLightProgramme · 18/09/2023 06:19

I wouldn't be adding anything more in unless she'd caught up at school and was achieving the best of her potential there.

Yuja · 18/09/2023 06:20

I think it's fine but my DD in y6 is a competitive swimmer and trains 8-9 hours a week so feels normal to us 😂

ORYX99 · 18/09/2023 06:22

This thread makes me laugh a bit. That's far less than the human body was 'designed' to cope with. I'd let her crack on. She'll be fine.

NuffSaidSam · 18/09/2023 06:25

If she's in year 6 then I think it's the best year to try it and see how it goes. She may find she needs to cut back once high school kicks in so I'd let her do her sport while school demands are still pretty low.

Eleven is old enough to give them a chance to learn by trial and error.

Mauricemossy · 18/09/2023 06:33

Of course you let her. You are not a proper parent if not involved in competitive busyness.

swimminglessonadvice · 18/09/2023 06:33

My older DD does about 12 -13 hours a week of training seems a lot when I add it up, year 7. Seems ok at the moment, we’ll keep an eye. She loves her sports so keen to let her do it

Lahdedahiam · 18/09/2023 06:34

If she's enjoying it, encourage it!

swimminglessonadvice · 18/09/2023 06:36

Btw I read somewhere 1 hour of training per year so for example my DD at 12-13 hours is just slightly over the max of about 12 hours training a week for her age. Her’s is across a number of sports though.

Anni1234 · 18/09/2023 06:36

If she’s asking I think it’s great!
Some kids don’t do much or watch screens a lot etc. if she’s managing to cope with it then I think it’s fine.

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