To ask about "being hysterical?"

[mrlistersgelfbride]

I'm quite an emotional person and sometimes I struggle to keep it under wraps.
I know it's not attractive to be overly emotional or upset. I find it embarassing but at the same time can't control it.
I did a thread the other day, I cried a lot at work after leaving a job after 10 years. It's been building up.
I've been attached to my job for a long time. It's been a source of friends and safety net.
I left for distance and found a closer to home role. I'm struggling to sleep and relax these last few days.
MIL called me hysterical when I picked DD up on Friday.
She fell out with me for reasons unrelated to.this today and me and partner had a blazing row about it as it upset her. Partner has gone out drinking/football today. I went to my parents to have a chat and they could see I was very emotional. I told them about leaving work, etc and they told me I was foolish and should keep my emotions to myself.
So I'm very upset again.
So I'm an over sharer, hysterical and wired at the moment.
How on earth can I chill out? I feel such a fool. I hate feeling this way. I hate people seeing me this way.
YANBU- there's nothing wrong with this
YABU- you need help.
Ps I already take antidepressants.
Thanks.

I assume you are not always this emotional, I think most of us go through periods where things are more emotional. Menopause for example has me all tearful and angry, stress also can do this. Therapy could help, there you get to cry all you need and calm things through. I recommend it.

@KajsaKavat Thanks for your reply. I'm not always this emotional, I knew this week would be tough for me and I even jokingly warned people to expect it.
It would be great to have a place to talk where the listener was impartial and wouldn't say I'm hysterical - which frankly, is not at all helpful!

Often if we are told to shove down our emotions, they get harder to ignore.

I'd suggest noticing them, listening to them and expressing them more not less - could you write out what you're feeling? You can burn or shred it if you want to keep thoughts private.

I'd stop telling your MIL and parents tbh, they don't sound much help or support.

Emotions are natural. As long as you are not overwhelmed all the time, learning to hear your feelings is quite healthy.

Rather than warn people I think that you should have looked up coping strategies and not put it on other people. You made the decision to leave your job, but cried about it in work, that's ott.

@Ponoka7 I didn't think of looking up coping strategies. Is it really putting it on people to be upset one day? I have worked there 10 years.
Yes I chose to leave but it's hard saying goodbye. They don't have to deal with it again.

It is putting on people crying over a decision you've taken. Someone crying in front of you causes a stress response. There's nothing they could do or say and other people have stuff going on and don't need to take your upset on board. Some will view that as harsh, but we go through changes in life and you've got to get on with them. If you were doing that in front of my middle DD, you'd set her anxiety off for a couple of days. It would be different if you had a real problem, but you were coming to an end of a era, as we all do as we grow older and our children grow up, parents age and die etc etc.

Maybe you need a nice calming trip to the Vatican?

🤣

your emotions are valid, and you're absolutely 100% entitled to feel them.

The issues arise when you insist on sharing those emotions with people who do not want to know, or do not have the capacity to deal with them in that moment.

its trauma dumping essentially.

Now, i don't mind my friends using me as an emotional support friend, i always tell them they can talk to me about anything at any time, however, not everyone has that capacity... or the empathy required to just allow you space to be emotional around them.

Find people who DO care and will give you the space and comfort, and stop expecting it from people with the emotional intelligence of a potato.

I think people are being very harsh to you to be honest. Some people cry more than others. Usually the ones who cry more did not have their needs met when they were younger so they haven't learned to regulate their emotions. Or maybe they are pushing down too much stress and it keeps coming to the surface. Sounds like you need some friends who understand you better than your parents and MIL