Feel dead inside

[piranhapup]

Feeling like I can't connect with much, anyone or anything. It feels like my chest is full of wood, like a board. I can't get excited about things but I also struggle to feel negative emotions either. Or at least not to a "reasonable" amount. I could probably cry a lot if I felt safe to do so and I allowed myself. What could be wrong with me? I'm still able to go to work and talk to people etc and probably no one notices there's anything wrong. I just feel very disconnected from myself and from others

When did you start to feel this way? Or have you always felt like this?

How old are you?
Do you have a regular and sufficient sleep pattern?
Do you eat vegetables every day?
Aside from work, do you manage to meet or see other people regularly?

Have you had to deal with awful stress or personal tragedy recently?

Could be a number of things...

My heart goes out to you. I can understand much of what you describe, save the not feeling negative emotions. Have you considered talking therapy?

Go easy on yourself.

Are you going through the menopause or peri menopause?

You sound depressed. Being depressed is not like feeling ordinarily sad, it is feeling disconnected and having your emotions dulled. Maybe talk to your dr?

I know I keep spouting this, but have a look at your diet. Food can affect emotional health as well as physical health.
If your diet is good already (lots of fruit, vegetables, fish, meat, dairy, olive oil, nuts, spices, seeds), then you may need to see your GP to try and determine the cause.
Good luck and sending hugs.

Thanks for your replies.

I'm mid 20s. I generally get decent amount of sleep, 7+ hours, often feel tired with working full time and life in general, but catch up with a nap at weekends if necessary. I see people/friends outside of work but there is a very draining family situation at home.

My diet could be better but it's not awful either and I have been making more of an effort with it in the last few months. I usually have vegetables, fruit, protein etc.

There are some issues in my personal life, family issues and illness/bereavement impending. Also will be moving house in the next month or so. But other people manage to cope with these things ok. I can't fall apart at the moment, I need to keep going.

I've been feeling like this for maybe 4 months.

It sounds like low level anxiety and depression, especially feeling disconnected from others. Probably related to the family issues. Would talking with other family members or a counselor be possible?

Who says other people manage to cope well with these changes ?

On the outside yes- just the way you are presenting yourself differently at work etc. Its what people do to get themselves through the day. But often they are just like you inside - feeling dead and unable to process normal emotions.
It seems to me that you are protecting yourself by not addressing the difficult home situations until the time comes that you really will have to let go. This is normal for an ongoing situation.
Once things have reached a conclusion there will be a space for you to react in a perfectly human way to what has happened in your life.

It sounds like you are depressed, please see your GP and if they prescribe antidepressants take them, give them a few weeks to work. Also make sure to get cardio exercise and time in the sun and some vitamin D. Good luck.

Good advice (and I see you're too young for it to be menopause!).

See if you can find time to exercise with friends. It does help.

And if there's any sort of escapist fiction you like - that can help, particularly before bed. The more guilty a pleasure, the better.

Thanks for your ideas. I actually went to an exercise class for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I did notice I felt lighter afterwards.

So this could be depression? I imagined that would be crying and hopelessness, whereas I just can't seem to feel much of anything.

An impending bereavement is a huge stress, I doubt they come any more stressful. Moving house is another. You’ve a lot going on.
It might help to speak to your doctor, don’t dismiss antidepressants and you can talk to your dr if these are short term/ longer term.
Coincidentally I was speaking with a friend this evening, she suffered a sudden, unexpected bereavement 2 years ago. She said her GP had “tweaked” her antidepressants and I wasn’t surprised, she sounded the most positive and on the level if that makes sense I’ve heard in a long time.

Sometimes depression is just a numb feeling to be fair. I said further up maybe not the 'no-negatives' because I associate depression with negative, but I've had tears just in my eyes with literally no thoughts or feelings for consecutive hours/days when I was at my lowest. In many ways those moments were the scariest. So it could be depression.

Either way, speak to your GP and be kind to yourself as often as you can. I'd like to say you're not alone, but when you feel like this it doesn't really help, so I'll just say MNers are here for you. Take care.