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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbourhood clique

10 replies

Sianywoo · 17/09/2023 11:01

I have lived in my house 10 years. Recently a few people moved and new people moved in. One new neighbour Neughbour A) in particular is vile to me and always has been, I have no idea why but since she came along I have been excluded, ridiculed and sworn at by her and other neighbours (D and E in particular). D is known as king of the street and organises regular events (which we are no longer invited to).

The worst thing is that her immediate neighbour (neighour B) raised concerns that she was abusive to her daughter 2 years old) , she told me on several occassions that she had serious concerns. Neighbour A, got reported to social services. I am sure they blame me. A's husband has been to my house a few times having a go at me. He even bought B's husband once I have tried to talk, but both deny everything (even though he A'swas stood next to her when she startedcshouting and screaming at me once - no idea why she did this as at that point they had not long moved in and I had never had an interaction with her other than to invite them both to a get together at ours - it was before they were reported ) and B's husband also told me he was concerned about child abuse).

I tried to talk to neughbour B (the one who raised the concerns to me) has denied them and refuses to speak to me, she now is best friends with neighbour ashe accused of child abuse. The opinion of most other neighbour is that whoever reported neighbour A was malicious as she is lovely! Now I don't know who reported them but believe me if what was said to me was true then they should be in prison.

Last time I interacted with any of them was at a street party 18 months ago where neighbour C (neighbour C I had considered a best friend for the last 10 years) and some other neighbours D and E were horrible to me, rudiculing me on loud speaker as I had said I didn't want karaoke outside my house after 10pm (D and E were planning to set it up on my drive!). I ended up in mental health hospital after this (I was unwell anyway due to mental health due to domestic violence ,which they knew although some of them I know didn't believe me D in particular) and not one neighbour (at that time I was friendly with most of them) asked me how I was. The only response I got to my reaching out to (neighbours C and F I had been close to F for 5 years) was that they didn't want to be involved in arguments with me and other neighbours about karaoke and that I needed to 'chill' (like that was the issue).

I am not really interested in being friends with them but the constant loud karaoke parties and shouting how much they love each other across the street grates on me.

I also really don't get why anyone would make accusations about child abuse then deny them. Either she made them up and just told me (why?) or they were true but she now values being part of the clique more.

If I was in a position to move I would but I am not.....

AIBU feeling victimised or do you think I deserve this treatment?

OP posts:
Valid8me · 17/09/2023 11:31

Blimy, you all sound very invloved in each others business! I have lived in my house 20 years and speak with my immediate neighbours on either side when I see them out and about but that's as far as it goes!

I can understand why C & F didn't want to get involved. I would just stay away from the lot of them and if any come round to have a go at you, phone the police.

Original poster
Sianywoo · 17/09/2023 12:02

Valid8me · 17/09/2023 11:31

Blimy, you all sound very invloved in each others business! I have lived in my house 20 years and speak with my immediate neighbours on either side when I see them out and about but that's as far as it goes!

I can understand why C & F didn't want to get involved. I would just stay away from the lot of them and if any come round to have a go at you, phone the police.

Yeah it is like that between most of them (I don't get it). When I 1st moved in there were a lot of parties then everyone fell out and a lot moved away.

I had 2 good friends C and F but after me not wanting karaoke on my drive they don't speak to me. It's upsetting as I saw them as friends. I can understand why they don't want to get involved but not why they became part of the clique instead of maintaining what I thought was a genuine friendship with me.

I had thought about calling police if A, or B come again but wasn't sure if that would escalate things.

X

OP posts:
Original poster
Sianywoo · 17/09/2023 12:07

Sianywoo · 17/09/2023 11:01

I have lived in my house 10 years. Recently a few people moved and new people moved in. One new neighbour Neughbour A) in particular is vile to me and always has been, I have no idea why but since she came along I have been excluded, ridiculed and sworn at by her and other neighbours (D and E in particular). D is known as king of the street and organises regular events (which we are no longer invited to).

The worst thing is that her immediate neighbour (neighour B) raised concerns that she was abusive to her daughter 2 years old) , she told me on several occassions that she had serious concerns. Neighbour A, got reported to social services. I am sure they blame me. A's husband has been to my house a few times having a go at me. He even bought B's husband once I have tried to talk, but both deny everything (even though he A'swas stood next to her when she startedcshouting and screaming at me once - no idea why she did this as at that point they had not long moved in and I had never had an interaction with her other than to invite them both to a get together at ours - it was before they were reported ) and B's husband also told me he was concerned about child abuse).

I tried to talk to neughbour B (the one who raised the concerns to me) has denied them and refuses to speak to me, she now is best friends with neighbour ashe accused of child abuse. The opinion of most other neighbour is that whoever reported neighbour A was malicious as she is lovely! Now I don't know who reported them but believe me if what was said to me was true then they should be in prison.

Last time I interacted with any of them was at a street party 18 months ago where neighbour C (neighbour C I had considered a best friend for the last 10 years) and some other neighbours D and E were horrible to me, rudiculing me on loud speaker as I had said I didn't want karaoke outside my house after 10pm (D and E were planning to set it up on my drive!). I ended up in mental health hospital after this (I was unwell anyway due to mental health due to domestic violence ,which they knew although some of them I know didn't believe me D in particular) and not one neighbour (at that time I was friendly with most of them) asked me how I was. The only response I got to my reaching out to (neighbours C and F I had been close to F for 5 years) was that they didn't want to be involved in arguments with me and other neighbours about karaoke and that I needed to 'chill' (like that was the issue).

I am not really interested in being friends with them but the constant loud karaoke parties and shouting how much they love each other across the street grates on me.

I also really don't get why anyone would make accusations about child abuse then deny them. Either she made them up and just told me (why?) or they were true but she now values being part of the clique more.

If I was in a position to move I would but I am not.....

AIBU feeling victimised or do you think I deserve this treatment?

Meant to add the parties go on until 2am plus and are really loud. Police don't want to know and council require sound equipment in house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sianywoo · 17/09/2023 12:24

I generally try to stay out of things but I often hear them talking about me loudly outside, that's how I know they don't believe me about the domestic violence. Unfortunatly everyone knew about that as my husband at the time told everyone that I had falsly accused him but I didn't let it bother me and I had the 2 good friendships c and f until this new neighbour (a) moved in and they all started excluding me.

OP posts:
Daffidale · 17/09/2023 12:32

When I 1st moved in there were a lot of parties then everyone fell out and a lot moved away.

so there’s form here right? Sounds like while A moving in has been a catalyst, your existing neighbours have form for drama and being over involved in each others lives.

It definitely sounds like they have all decided you were the one who reported A to social services

I’m not sure what you do about this, sorry. I’d maybe start with the better friends who aren’t so involved and tell them it wasn’t you who made the report. May not do any good.

TheHolyGrailSpeaks · 17/09/2023 12:38

Can you really not move? They all sound like hell.

Original poster
Sianywoo · 18/09/2023 07:18

Daffidale · 17/09/2023 12:32

When I 1st moved in there were a lot of parties then everyone fell out and a lot moved away.

so there’s form here right? Sounds like while A moving in has been a catalyst, your existing neighbours have form for drama and being over involved in each others lives.

It definitely sounds like they have all decided you were the one who reported A to social services

I’m not sure what you do about this, sorry. I’d maybe start with the better friends who aren’t so involved and tell them it wasn’t you who made the report. May not do any good.

Thank you. Yes they do have form for it. I don't really get why adults act like that, this chat has made me realise that I have felt odd for not wanting to be involved.
I have no idea why A targetted me from the moment she moved in.

I was actually glad when they were reported as I was struggling with sleeping after what I had been told by neighbour b. I was pretty astounded that the neighbours all immediatly said whoever reported it was malicious. I assumed it was neighbour B but they immediatly became best pals. I have told the husbands (when they came over shouting at me) the things she told me she'd heard. They just laughed in my face. Like child abuse is a joke!

It is all very strange.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sianywoo · 18/09/2023 07:20

TheHolyGrailSpeaks · 17/09/2023 12:38

Can you really not move? They all sound like hell.

Thank you. I am hoping they will all fall out soon. Xx

OP posts:
Conkersinautumn · 18/09/2023 07:42

It sounds like something out of a soap opera. I'd move away as fast as possible.

MNetcurtains · 18/09/2023 08:00

Sounds like the council estate from hell. I'm assuming none of these neighbours are rocket scientists. 🙄

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