I just want to clarify something.
I have separated from my ex husband who I feel is emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling.
He has left through his own choice after shouting at me after opening up to him as he has done many times before. He then doesn't speak to me for a few days. He then gets in touch and tells me it's over. I pack the things he asks for. He then decides he wants to come back.
I haven't let him back this time.
I have lived a long time of tip toeing around him. This stems from him shouting at me at my most vulnerable times. Pregnancy, the day before childbirth, a few days after childbirth. I also went through an incredibly low point where I had thoughts of serious self harm and his response was 'I don't need this right now, it's annoyed me to be honest' because I called him at work in a state of panic. When he got home I still had the same response. There also many other times too. If I tried to say no to anything etc etc
Anyway I've told him I am fed up living my life this way. He was trying to think of ways to fix it and here is his idea:
'When you feel like you're walking on egg shells, you need to tell me otherwise I don't have a clue I'm doing it'
Am I wrong to this is is absolutely ridiculous? How can you expect someone who has been scared of you to start telling them this? I very much doubt this would be advice a marriage counsellor would give (and no, we're not going to marriage counselling).
That's not taking ownership of his issue. He's basically not going to change, he's just putting extra pressure on my shoulders.
He's not coming back. I'm done. I've been firmer with him than ever before....which he hates. But I just wanted to get peoples views on this?