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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pushy parents/annoying kids get best treatment??

2 replies

Sportismeantobefun · 16/09/2023 22:14

A small issue in the scheme of things I know but important to my child. Name changed to be less outing.

My child goes to a school where sport is a big thing. My child has always been good at one of the school sports and we’ve always let him get on with it and encouraged him at club and school, but let coaches do the coaching and us in the background/lifts/kit washing.

We’ve always had feedback that our child has a really good attitude (won year group prizes etc) as well as skills in the game. He’s now year 8.

This year he was made captain and coach said it was for his maturity, and team attitude, but a few weeks into term he’s been told he’s sharing it with another child. Not an issue in principle.

Problem is that this child is notorious for having a bad attitude. Mucks about in training, thinks he’s gods gift to the sport, mimics other children if they are doing warm ups, blames others for mistakes etc etc. Parents think he’s the next national star. Also had a history of physically and verbally bulllying my child and a couple of others that I know of. School are aware.

The change to sharing captain is almost certainly due to this child’s parents complaining to the school and several parents have said to us they are upset and he’ll be a terrible captain.

this seems symptomatic that the PITA parents kids get it all and compliant parents kids get less.

Do I stoop to the other child’s’ parents level and go into school ((yanbu) or just put up and shut up (yabu)}

OP posts:
lanthanum · 16/09/2023 22:52

Perhaps they're thinking that if he's a captain he might start behaving better. If not, hopefully they will take note and demote him again.

If other parents are also concerned, I'd be inclined to leave it to them (or better still, their kids) to raise it. That way it's not "I don't think this kid deserves the job as much as my DS", but "we find it harder to play/practise well when..."

Sportismeantobefun · 16/09/2023 23:43

Thank you - I’m really hoping that it is the case that if the child doesn’t live up to the role it’s removed. Also really hope it could be a turning point for the child. Although he’s had so many opportunities I’m not sure it will be.

My first instinct is to do exactly what you say and let others (or the children) deal with it, but not sure if that’s just me being anti-confrontational.

I’m genuinely not precious about my child being captain, nor are they. They could share it round/could be another child but if seems so off that it’s the worst behaved/worst attitude one that is.

OP posts:
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