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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Job dilemma wwyd

29 replies

sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 19:34

I've been wfh in a dead end admin job for the past 17 years. Yes really. It used to be office based but we never went back after covid. The work is very dull and there's no personal fulfilment whatsoever. However it's easy money and has given me incredible flexibility, even when office based I was always able to tailor my hours around school runs and so on.

During a bad patch a few weeks ago when I thought fuck it I've really had enough of this, I applied for a new job in a huff and lo and behold I actually got it. It's the same amount of part time hours, roughly the same salary but it's totally office based. It would mean 3 full days in the office and probably wouldn't give me much flexibility with hours. It would mean putting my youngest in nursery a bit more which would initially cost us money. Also wouldn't be home when my eldest gets in from school (he's older and walks alone/is old enough to be alone for a few hours).

I think the work sounds a lot more interesting and fulfilling but of course I don't know what it would really be like until I got there. It feels like a risk but I think it's because I've become so institutionalised in my boring but safe and flexible job. Wwyd?

OP posts:
MustGetOutofBed · 15/09/2023 19:38

I wouldn't move job without a pay increase, which would have to be significant enough to cover transport costs, extra childcare costs and then some more. Especially as you would be giving up a lot of flexibility.
Is there any room to negotiate? What are the prospects?

Original poster
sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 19:45

Yes this is what I'm thinking. Even at the top scale it would still only be slightly more. The motivation would purely be job satisfaction/fulfilment but how do I even know I'd like it?

OP posts:
Pfpppl · 15/09/2023 19:45

I wouldn't if the pay is roughly the same. Unless there is scope for progression?

Whattodo112222 · 15/09/2023 19:47

I wouldn't if you aren't getting a pay increase. Too much of a risk. You also can't put a price on flexibility

ArtimisGame · 15/09/2023 19:53

I was told recently to only apply to jobs that are 2 grades above what I’m currently on, and with responsibilities that are more than my current verified skill level. This is because research has shown men apply to jobs in this way.

RantyAnty · 15/09/2023 20:04

Stay in the boring job and apply for jobs with a large increase in pay and responsibilities.

Your skills must be in demand to get snapped up so quickly.

Original poster
sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 20:08

I'm not really skilled. I think it was luck or lack of other applicants to be honest.

Both are admin based. It's just that one is in an area that is a lot more interesting and meaningful. For example the new one is like working for an amazing charity that does amazing work and the other is working for a concrete company (example).

OP posts:
ChateauMargaux · 15/09/2023 20:11

You deserve to enjoy your job...

Do you have a partner.. can they take some of the family load?

I think I would move.. the offset is your long term feelings of self worth..

Blackbyrd · 15/09/2023 20:15

Are there any promotion or training prospects with the new position? You deserve the chance to make the most of your talents . The job market is about to seriously contract so further opportunities may be few and far between

ArtimisGame · 15/09/2023 20:19

Blackbyrd · 15/09/2023 20:15

Are there any promotion or training prospects with the new position? You deserve the chance to make the most of your talents . The job market is about to seriously contract so further opportunities may be few and far between

What makes you say the job market will contract? I’ve not heard about this. Is it a recession?

thecatinthetwat · 15/09/2023 20:24

Change jobs, it’ll be a challenge, which is a good thing in life!

Canonlythinkofthisone · 15/09/2023 20:24

Keep looking.

Don't sacrifice flexibility for essentially less pay when you factor in additional costs.

Flexibility is worth it's weight in gold. Doesn't meant stay stuck where you are, you obviously have a desire to do more and that's an employable trait.

But don't just jump ship for the first opportunity to knock on the door.

Ignore the PP above, the job market is still very much the employees market. Not the employers. If the company is one you genuinely want to work for, don't be afraid to ask for additional renumeration to compensate the additional travel etc.

EvilElsa · 15/09/2023 20:26

I wouldn't lose the flexibility for this particular job. Definitely keep looking for something else.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 15/09/2023 20:26

I think that I would opt to stay where you currently are.

  1. 17 years and only this one blip- that’s amazing to me.
  2. wfh - no commuting, working with people you might not like. (And no one to hear you swear/sing/listen to podcasts/ eat all the biscuits/hog the loo etc)
  3. if redundancies come along - you’ve been there 17 years!
  4. increased costs if you go office based.
  5. flexibility, flexibility, flexibility.
IMustDoMoreExercise · 15/09/2023 20:52

Only you can say how much you dislike your current job.

Most people would love to have a flexible work from home job like yours, but you seem to really detest it.

If your current job is giving you stress then you need to take the new job, but you have to be prepared for the increased costs and lack of flexibility.

neverbeenskiing · 15/09/2023 21:00

I'm going against the grain here, but having a job you actually care about, that's meaningful and makes you feel good about yourself is worth a lot IMO. Yes, flexibility is key when you have small children but if you're at a stage where your DC are becoming more independent then that's different. 3 days a week in the office means 2 full days at home, so still pretty flexible compared to many jobs. People are telling you to hold out for more money but as long as you're ok financially, why not take this job that you seem to be excited about, there may be opportunities for progression within the organisation, and if not you can always keep looking.

Original poster
sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 21:11

IMustDoMoreExercise · 15/09/2023 20:52

Only you can say how much you dislike your current job.

Most people would love to have a flexible work from home job like yours, but you seem to really detest it.

If your current job is giving you stress then you need to take the new job, but you have to be prepared for the increased costs and lack of flexibility.

It's not stressful. It's just tedious and dull. When people ask me what I do im embarrassed about it because I've been there for so many years with no progression and it's just such a boring job. I don't hate it. I don't dread it but it doesn't fulfil me at all.

One of my dc is still young. The other two are primary/secondary age. So I do feel like I've been slogging away for a long time due to flexibility but then having another little one makes it hard to give it all up, hence the dilemma.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 15/09/2023 21:26

sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 21:11

It's not stressful. It's just tedious and dull. When people ask me what I do im embarrassed about it because I've been there for so many years with no progression and it's just such a boring job. I don't hate it. I don't dread it but it doesn't fulfil me at all.

One of my dc is still young. The other two are primary/secondary age. So I do feel like I've been slogging away for a long time due to flexibility but then having another little one makes it hard to give it all up, hence the dilemma.

Show quote history

Well, I think that you have answered your own question. You need the flexibility at the moment because your dc are young.

Flexibility is priceless when you have a young family.

I would really stay put until your dc are old enough.

Original poster
sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 23:29

Oh god this is so tough. I feel like a fool for going to the interview if I'm going to tell them I no longer want the job! I'll never be able to apply there again will I?

I just don't know what to do for the best. I know if I don't take the risk I'll be plagued by it. But if I do and it's too much or I don't enjoy it then I'll be kicking myself for not being satisfied with my cushty but soul destroying wfh job.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/09/2023 09:25

Well, it depends what you mean by soul destroying. If it really is destroying your soul then you need to leave.

Only you know how bad your job is. No-one here can know.

Most people with young dc on here would give anything to have a totally wfh job. If you do not think that it is so important then you should leave.

What was it like pre Covid? How did you find working in the office with young dc?

trussedchicken · 16/09/2023 09:31

It's a difficult one. But due to the flexibility, I think I would stay with current job. But keep looking for something with a more significant pay increase.

Purplewarrior · 16/09/2023 09:36

I would speak to the hiring company and say you will accept their job offer if you can wfh two days a week, and the salary is £x.

You have nothing to lose then.

DisforDarkChocolate · 16/09/2023 09:39

I'd probably take it, you need to get out of your comfort zone and gain experience in a new role. It's not like you need to stay there another 17 years.

Ladybug14 · 16/09/2023 09:41

sorrymissjackson23 · 15/09/2023 23:29

Oh god this is so tough. I feel like a fool for going to the interview if I'm going to tell them I no longer want the job! I'll never be able to apply there again will I?

I just don't know what to do for the best. I know if I don't take the risk I'll be plagued by it. But if I do and it's too much or I don't enjoy it then I'll be kicking myself for not being satisfied with my cushty but soul destroying wfh job.

Ask for more money from both employers. See what they say.

That'll give you a get out either way

Blueroses99 · 16/09/2023 09:45

I’d take the new job. Staying in a job you dislike sucks the soul out of you and impacts all areas of your life. Once you have moved once, it’s easier to move again after a year or two if it’s not what you want to stick to or for more money.