The C word (sensitive content)

[powerpuffgirl44]

I've been anxious about sharing this but I feel so stressed & worried & scared.
During the summer me & my sister went to visit our father, he retired abroad on a little boat in a lovely harbour.
What was meant to be a holiday turned into a living nightmare, I won't go into too much detail but basically our father has now been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
I had to go back to England on my return flight, my sister stayed as our father was taken to hospital at the beginning of the holiday & was still there.
Fast forward a few weeks, they have booked flights back to England, to live with me, no one else could have him. My sister said we don't have a choice & we need to be strong. She will care for him in my house, she doesn't work as has just finished a year travelling.

I am so scared, I don't know how to do this. I already have so much on my plate (I am a single working mother)
I can't really articulate how im feeling about it all, it's just too much. Im heartbroken and angry at the same time. Am I being unreasonable to feel like this? That part of me doesn't want this?

First of all, I'm so sorry
You're not being unreasonable to feel this way at all. Your father's diagnosis sounds like it's come as such as shock, and you sound like you've been railroaded into turning your home life upside down to enable him to return to the UK

Are there no other alternatives for where he can stay with your sister?

I would reach out to Marie curie and any specific charities for his specific cancer to get some support for yourself as well as for him.

I would also contact citizens advice to ask about any benefits you're able to claim to ease the finical burden. Since he has a terminal diagnosis and needs care, you/your sister will be entitled to attendance allowance. Which can be up to around £400 a month.

Have you got room?

will he be entitled to NHS treatment?

What a horrible situation for you all. It's all new, it's all scary and non of it is expected nor planned for, and it's going to be hard. All I can say to you is, do whatever will give you peace in your heart when your father is no longer here.

What is his status in uk? https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/visiting-or-moving-to-england/how-to-access-nhs-services-in-england-if-you-are-visiting-from-abroad/

@BeautifulGnome It was already agreed my sister would stay at mine so she could work & save for her next venture.
We have tried various family members but they have said no they aren't in a position to have him live with them.
I've been pretty disgusted at the amount of people that have turned their backs on us, me & my sister feel so alone with too much responsibility on our shoulders.
Im also worried about the effect this may have on my 5 year old.
They haven't even arrived in England & I can feel myself withdrawing, im snapping at my daughter, im quiet at work, not eating, hardly sleeping.
People keep advising me on all these different things I have to do & people to contact. Our mother left us when we were very small so we don't even have a mum to help us.

I'm sorry I told you to contact people too. It must feel like such a impossible task.

Can you take the weekend to get out about with your DD and distract yourself as much as possible with something you both enjoy.

Take all the well meaning advice you've been given and hand it over to your sister as she's the primary carer