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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Daughter wants to drop out of college after only 2 weeks

30 replies

GeorgieHalbs · 15/09/2023 13:13

DD has joined college to study A levels, a place where she knows lots of others. She chose her courses very carefully, and after 2 weeks has just informed me she'd like to drop out and work full time at McD's! I think she is just keen to work & earn money but as her mum, I obviously worry about her future. I haven't lost my temper with her over this, but I did say I thought it was a mistake and she should think longer about it. I am a bit upset too, if honest! Thoughts please.

OP posts:

ASCCM · 15/09/2023 13:14

Is she under 18? I thought you have to be in some education or training until 18 now?

Uriah · 15/09/2023 13:16

You need to break it down and get specifics from her re what she doesn’t like about college. Wanting to earn money isn’t a good enough reason. There must be more to it. What’s changed?

You are right to worry.

TeenDivided · 15/09/2023 13:17

ASCCM · 15/09/2023 13:14

Is she under 18? I thought you have to be in some education or training until 18 now?

In theory you do.
In practice you don't.
Though parents will lose child benefit & free prescriptions for her.

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 15/09/2023 13:18

You can leave school on the last Friday in June if you’ll be 16 by the end of the summer holidays.

You must then do one of the following until you’re 18:

stay in full-time education, for example at a college
start an apprenticeship or traineeship
spend 20 hours or more a week working or volunteering, while in part-time education or training

TheBarbieEffect · 15/09/2023 13:19

I wouldn’t worry. McDonalds is an amazing company to work for - their management programme is the best in the world and their salaried managers are regularly poached.

It’s decent, hard work with incredible pay and brilliant promotion opportunities.

ThinWomansBrain · 15/09/2023 13:19

let her do it part time in addition to college
that'll put her off.

ASCCM · 15/09/2023 13:20

TeenDivided · 15/09/2023 13:17

In theory you do.
In practice you don't.
Though parents will lose child benefit & free prescriptions for her.

Show quote history

Oh ok , thank you I didn’t know about this. I guess I took it at face value!

OP in this case I think I’d be trying to encourage her to give it to half term, it’s a big change and a big transition and she needs to give it a proper chance? Really tricky one So feel for you.

cherrypopsicle · 15/09/2023 13:21

Has she looked into apprenticeships? My daughter quickly realised college wasn't for her but has found an apprenticeship which she absolutely loves, and the pay is pretty good so she is really sticking in as she loves the money

Shishandphips · 15/09/2023 13:21

Could she change to a course at the college instead of A levels? If she doesn't want to go to university then something like a BTEC or a diploma. Or apprenticeship that would lead to a job?

thoushallleave · 15/09/2023 13:25

She needs to give it longer than 2 weeks. She is struggling with it so try to find why she is struggling. Ds said he hated a subject after 2 weeks, it was a new one for him, we told him to stick with it because the other options available in that timetable slot were not great for him. He is now applying to university to study it and loves it.

It is all well her saying she wants to work in McDonalds and as others have said they have a great management scheme but she needs to see the bigger picture here. Earning money when you are living at home with your parents is a shit load of money because you don't have bills to pay. How would she support herself if she rented somewhere on that in your area? At 16 she is not meant to be working full time, she is meant to be in training alongside working if she isn't on an apprenticeship or in education. Plus as others have said you lose child benefit and free prescriptions and also eye tests I believe.

I agree with letting her work part time at McDonalds alongside her A levels but she definitely needs to give it longer.

Sirzy · 15/09/2023 13:29

Does she already work at McDonald’s and could she actually get more hours?

i would ask her to stick it out until half term and see how things are then and if she has a reasonable plan (including paying towards living costs) then support her plan.

Original poster

GeorgieHalbs · 15/09/2023 13:37

Yes, she's also looked at apprenticeships. She's 16. Thankfully the college has careers people she can speak with, I'm encouraging her to try and stay until at least half term, but she's quite stubborn (like me!) so trying to avoid a row while still stating she should give college a proper go first, it's difficult and emotional! I just want the best for her.

OP posts:

hookiewookie29 · 15/09/2023 13:44

My daughter dropped out of college - she didn't go back after lockdown.
Nothing happened- nobody got in touch with us about it,although they soon stopped the chold benefits and tax credits!

felisha54 · 15/09/2023 14:07

Can she get a PT job in McDonald's?

AliOlis · 15/09/2023 14:09

hookiewookie29 · 15/09/2023 13:44

My daughter dropped out of college - she didn't go back after lockdown.
Nothing happened- nobody got in touch with us about it,although they soon stopped the chold benefits and tax credits!

Nothing happened, except your child has now completed their education at the age of 16. Is that a good result for you?

uglyinside · 15/09/2023 14:27

AliOlis · 15/09/2023 14:09

Nothing happened, except your child has now completed their education at the age of 16. Is that a good result for you?

Show quote history

bitchy reply! I’m sure hookiewookie was just giving an anecdotal reply! She never said it was a good result!

thoushallleave · 15/09/2023 15:18

Statistically she is putting herself in a minority category, 94.1% of all 16-19 year olds were in education, apprenticeships or working but breaking that down further 2.4% were in apprenticeships and 2.4% in employment. That leaves 89.3% in education.

Does she think working is easier? Has she worked a full day before?

From gov.uk "In England, a young person must be in part-time education or training until they’re 18" so she can't just work in McDonalds full time. They would be breaking the law so she would need to be in a training program with them if she was looking at more than part time hours.

She is cutting her nose off to spite her face. What A levels is she doing? Have you told college she is looking to drop out so they can talk to her immediately to find out why? What were her GCSE grades?

TickingOfAClock · 15/09/2023 15:26

My eldest son left school at 16, went to college, chopped and changed courses, left, then got an apprenticeship in a bank. This was the making of him four years later he's passed lots of exams, swapped over to a mortgage and finance company and is in a really good position, still studying hard alongside working full time.
Sometimes you have to step back and allow your children to make their own decisions, both my parents had left school and working full time age 14.

Needmorelego · 15/09/2023 15:41

Has she actually had a confirmed job offer at McDonald's? I assume all new staff member do training so would be perfectly "legal" for her to work there (Option 3 for English 16-18 year olds - "Work a minimum of 20 hours a week while in part time education or training"). She would be doing on the job training.
She will be restricted on the hours she can work (ie no overnight shift) while under 18 and will probably be on a lower wage than those 18+ doing exactly the same job.
There are so many 16 and 17 year olds bored out their minds at school/college and counting down the days until they can leave because they think they have to be there by law (or rather their parents do).
They don't.
Many want to be out there earning money and getting on with life.
If a full time job has been offered I don't see a problem with it - if that's what she wants.

AvocadosAreTheDevil · 18/09/2023 15:00

If she is insistent on this, McDonalds offers degree level apprenticeships in business management, which are entirely transferable. With no student debt, you have to do your Level 3 Apprenticeship first, but it's not the end of the world. I did it, I am now quite well paid in health care (complete 180), but used my qualifications from there to get onto a masters in healthcare.

AvocadosAreTheDevil · 18/09/2023 15:01

And in all honesty, I miss working there. It was a brilliant culture, with so many different members of staff. It felt like a family, unlike my current work place. Pay for under 18's is one of the best in the industry too

GingerIsBest · 18/09/2023 15:03

I called my parents after 2 weeks of uni to tell them I'd changed my mind, I wanted to come home and switch to a uni course at our local uni and not the one that I'd been planning for and looking forward to for 3 years....
... my dad told me that if I stuck it out for the year, and I was still unhappy, I could switch to the local uni at that point.

I think this level of fear and anxiety in the beginning is natural. I absolutely would NOT be even considering it after just 2 weeks. She needs to do a minimum of a full term before it's even an option. She's put time, and effort and work into getting to this point in her education and she cannot throw it away because her first 2 weeks were not what she expected/wnated.

Hotsaucegal · 18/09/2023 15:13

Two weeks is really too soon to tell. If she decides traditional education is not for her after giving it at least a term, I’d still suggest some sort of other qualifications. Both me and husband have university degrees (I’m currently getting my PhD) but have agreed that we’d probably encourage our children to become a trades person if they didn’t should a strong interest in academia - probably make a better living than lots of graduates these days and certainly offers more job security!

Birch101 · 18/09/2023 15:17

My mum played the card college and part time job and you keep the money you earn
No college you get a full time job and you pay market price rent.
I'd encourage the part time job alongside the A levels at least that way she has the option of university at any point in the future if she wants it.
You need 6m-1yr in a lot of jobs to get settled, college isn't any different

Findyourneutralspace · 18/09/2023 15:20

I’d tell her she needs to start working in McDonalds at the weekends and have given it 6 months before she makes the decision to quit college and do it full time.
If she’s industrious and a bit of a grafter she may get on well enough for now, and there’s nothing to stop her returning to education later. But it would be crackers to let her leave college for a job she doesn’t even have yet.

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