Should my colleague help or am I being racist?

[madamreign]

We have a new hire. She is very experienced and qualified, but she is from overseas and is struggling. English is not her first language and I'm in awe of anybody who can do a professional job in a second language. If we can get her over her problems (confidence, communication, ways of working etc) she'll be a really asset to the business.

I'm trying my best to listen, understand and help her settle in. Taking cues from her on how to deal with this- I want to her to succeed!

I have a colleague who was born in the UK but who's parents came from the same country that our new hire did. I know they speak the language.

Would it be wrong to request that my colleague to help the new hire?

this has nothing to do with me. I’m not personally wounded by your comments, I just think you are being completely OTT.

I’m surprised by some of these responses.

The OP’s idea to support this new recruit is potentially going to inconvenience someone wholly unconnected with both the new recruit, and the OP.

The person being asked to help isn’t an interpreter, a translator, a member of HR, a mentor or a trainer.

I would feel awkward asking someone to do something like this that really is not part of their job, and will infringe on their time, and yes - this is an undercurrent of not racism exactly, but something uncomfortable - they’re not being asked because of their skills in this area, but purely because of their nationality. Again, it’s not racism, but I would be very wary of asking, and get why the OP is too, and is asking on here.

I’m not saying don’t ask.

But the person being asked would be doing the new recruit, the new recruit’s manager / OP and the organisation a massive favour.

So when asking, this should be recognised and acknowledged - especially as doing this will impact on that person’s ability to get on with their actual job. There should be something in it for the person being asked (beyond just feeling like a helpful person!).

Funny assumption being made here, that finding whyisitallsohard hard work means that you must be white.

Honest to cringe, some people's racism is so obsessive...

i wrote You don’t get free work from people of colour based on their racial, cultural AND language skills.

Where are you getting the people of colour from? OP didn’t say where the new recruit was from and PP simply stated that they might as well be Polish or Spanish.
You might perceive her wondering whether she can ask her colleague for help as lumping people together based on their cultural background/ language skills, but others might disagree.
As already mentioned, I‘m an immigrant myself, and sorry, but I wouldn’t be offended if a colleague politely asked me for help with a new recruit from the same/ similar background as myself.
There is not only one correct way to see things.

@JustFrustrated@moresleepthanks@inamarina
I don't think the idea of helping out it's the issue. It's the extent of help that's required.
'Settling in' to me means talking to people, making them feel welcome, in fact I've helped many people from my home country in a similar way. It does give you a nice feeling to speak to someone from a similar background, share tips on where to find our food, etc. I might even informally 'mentor' them on the way things work here, knowing that we have similar points of reference.

I'd baulk at a vague 'request to help' for 4 reasons:
a) What 'help' is required exactly? How much of my time is it going to take up?
b) Am I going to be held responsible if it doesn't improve things?
c) Having been asked, if it turns out that it's going to impact my own work how can I say no without sounding like a dick?
d) What would they have done without me? If they'd have paid a professional coach, then I'm just saving them money, aren't I?

It also does the colleague a disservice if she has performance issues she needs to be given proper assistance to succeed not 'side of desk'. PP also raised a good point that her issues may not necessarily be related to culture but also her personality. It's the manager's job to unpick all this and work out the best way forward, if OP has no clue and is 'guided by her' she can take advice from a HR professional expert in these things. Not foist it onto someone else.

Disciplinary action?

Don't colleagues just help each other out any more?

Some of the actual horror at the thought!

I'm glad none of my workplaces were like that

I agree with your post.
Of course the extent of the required help is important, and also whether the colleague has the time to take on additional tasks, how they would be compensated and how comfortable they would feel (maybe they’re not particularly sociable and would struggle with having to be the new recruit‘s ‚buddy‘). All these things need to be considered.
What I don’t agree with is to automatically call it racist to even consider whether the colleague might be able to help based on their cultural background.

I agree PP have been aggressive, but I think it's something that's not quite clear tbh.
Perhaps 'race' makes sense, but when you consider it in the light of any other protected characteristic. Only woman in an all-male team, asking them to mentor a new female hire because they are female? That is extra work that the men don't have to do. Now obviously people agree that you can learn from each other based on this characteristic, there are women's group, mentorship circles etc but to impose it on someone solely because of that doesn't sit right with me.

I think the difficulty here stems from something that someone should do based on a non-professionally related characteristic and the fact that it might be hard to say no. Helping clients is OK, in fact it improves your own job performance but helping a peer, especially when there are significant performance issues is fraught rather than just simply making them feel 'more' welcome.

As you said asking if they 'might' be able to help is OK, provided OP makes it very clear that colleague can say no, or even stop at any time, is clear about what they will be expected to do and that they are perfectly blameless regardless of what happens.

It really isn't

As you said asking if they 'might' be able to help is OK, provided OP makes it very clear that colleague can say no, or even stop at any time, is clear about what they will be expected to do and that they are perfectly blameless regardless of what happens.

That sounds like a very reasonable approach 🙂

It wouldn't be wrong to ask but it would be wrong to expect. If they're not keen don't press or even ask why not.
Whilst I understand you're keen to help, sometimes full immersion in a new culture is the best way to acclimatise rather than seeking out the familiar. Just because it's difficult don't assume the new person isn't thriving on the challenge.

🙄 You really don't see how extreme and ridiculous you are, do you?

Wow this thread is so utterly racist! It’s unbelievable and a good look into Britains work place today.

some of you asked and commented why am i bringing People of colour into this and why making it about race. Wow what a typical response.

it’s in the TITLE!!! OP themselves asked “am i being racist”. These colleagues OP is referring to are obviously people of colour and don’t share the same race as OP. How on earth would OP use the word “racist” otherwise???

honestly, OP. Please actually act on this at work. Please go ahead and approach your other colleague and see how it goes down and then let us know what happens. There’s your answer!!!

you know it’s wrong and came on here to create a debate and then have me telling you it’s racist explaining why and you have not bothered to correct other commenters who are assuming it’s someone “Polish or Spanish” as someone already said.

i am a person of colour and if you asked me this i would report you to HR. Especially if you weren’t my manager. If i owned a business i would take this seriously and have the entire company go through diversity training!

also, OP. Maybe you’re the only one with the language barrier problem. Maybe it’s you who doesn’t understand the new hire.

what a disgraceful country we live in. Mums net should be ashamed for deleting my comments when i am speaking from experience and MN is choosing to support racists on here instead.

To the person who thinks white fragility is racist (honestly, wow!) There is an actual book on white fragility, you should read it:

https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/White_Fragility.html?id=sdp1DwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&ovdme=1&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

You must be a right barrel of laughs to work with.

If your new hire can’t follow instructions in English she isn’t great. Speaking English is a basic requirement for jobs in this country. Also some languages like Hindi / Gujarati etc have East African, West African, Caribbean and Indian dialects. And they can sound like totally different languages. Eg my mum and dad speak Ugandan Gujarati which is from the 1800s. We still use ancient words that fell out of use in India in the 1900s and to add to the complications we often add Swahili and English and Hindi words to the mix. Indians from India (like my husband’s family) often struggle to understand us.

So you can’t assume the other person can help

Example - the 1800s Gujarati word for stubborn used to be a metaphor that meant prawn as well. In India it just means prawn and the hindi word is used for stubborn as it’s considered more polite.

Please actually act on this at work. Please go ahead and approach your other colleague and see how it goes down and then let us know what happens

OP has already said, (twice? I believe) that she’s not going to do this, based on some helpful insight into why this would be a poor idea provided by another pp.

Wow this thread is so utterly racist!

So you keep saying ... if you really think so then report it, but maybe bear in mind that the only post that's been deleted is your own

It would depend on whether the colleagues' roles are related at all and whether they'd both be comfortable with it.
Have you asked how the new colleague feels about her progress in her new role? Has she outwardly stated that she's struggling due to a language barrier? Or is this something that you're just assuming?
I assume that because your new colleague was offered the job, that her language skills are perfectly appropriate to her new job.
I'd recommend speaking with the new colleague first.

Yes, there’s a book on it. You can write to the author who is also white and see where that goes.

"These colleagues OP is referring to are obviously people of colour and don’t share the same race as OP. How on earth would OP use the word “racist” otherwise???"

You do know that racism is more than just skin colour don't you?! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

Wow, you actually think I’m being aggressive?? Why are people of colour who explain racism automatically seen as “aggressive”. Why do responses have to be super duper nice and empathetic to you and your feelings when we ate the ones who deal with racism and asked to explain it , when all i am doing is just replying normally and you do nothing in responses to shared experiences of racism?? Why are you so fragile? Please Honestly, ask yourself that. Many of you on this thread in particular need a good education. Start here. Pretty Please. Less “aggressive” enough for you now??