Hi all I have been having a fairly long standing disagreement with my DH about his mother.
in context my DH brother had a really well paid job wife 2 kids but blew it all gambling and drinking . He since partly separated from his wife living in her spare room no job and always been a terrible father never really took part in family life with his 2 kids. They live 2.5 hours away.
we live 5 miles from MIL which she thinks is the other side of the world. She can drive and goes on the bus.
she recently has been waiting for treatment on her back and has been in a lot of pain she has been telling my DH that she is in bed, not going out and down and for him not to go round.
so we found out yesterday she made miraculous recovery to travel 2.5 hours on the train for some family event.
The issue is our kids are all of similar age - teenagers.
we are constantly asking his mother to come to ours for lunch or eat out or see kids. She often says she is Ill, down or doesn’t feel like it. She hasn’t been to ours or made any effort at all with our kids since December last year. However she goes to her sons and wife’s every time they ask which is usually every birthday or any event going she is there. She has not been to see our kids on their birthday for years despite asking.this year they didn’t get a card she said she had mislaid it and gave money in envelope I was furious.
we Have both lost our dads in last 2 years and both lost our nans all of whom were close to our children. My kids only have 2 nans left and my mom will make the effort and want to see the children often.
My MIL just does not seem interested in our family or kids In anyway shape or form and I feel awful for the kids.
DH thinks she makes all the effort with them as his brother as been so crap she feels bad for his wife and kids. I don’t feel this is an excuse.
AIBU to feel really upset about this situation.