To Call Out Ignorance At Work

[IgnoranceNotOk]

Changed username as the story is recognisable enough!

At my workplace, we are involved with Black History Month. Previously a colleague was asked by a white member of staff if they could bring in any POC to dance or make traditional food, the black staff member said know they didn’t know anyone who wanted to do that - the colleague only asked them.
I was outraged for the colleague but they said to leave it as it wasn’t meant badly.
However, it has happened again this year… the colleague told me a few and a couple of other colleagues this time but just said it’s ignorance and the colleague doesn’t mean it the way it comes across.

At this point however, I feel like I should gently say something to the colleague who has now asked repeatedly and doesn’t seem to realise how inappropriate this is - we have regular meetings with many colleagues so they could easily ask the whole company group if they knew anyone with a link who might want to come in. What with other people knowing people of all ethnicities and skin colours!

Another colleague thinks I should speak to the singled out colleague and check she would be ok with me suggesting to ignorant colleague about asking us as a whole from now on which I do get but also feel that the singled out colleague won’t want to cause hassle.

So am I being unreasonable to say something to this colleague or should I only say something if the individual wants me to?

OP can I ask, are you white? I'm POC and don't find this ignorant

Yes I am. That’s why I’m asking her I guess so I can see if I’m wrong.

It was my colleague of colour who said it was ignorance rather than anything sinister which is why I felt it might be time to say something.

Yea I wouldn't get bothered about that.

Leave them too it. Theyare adults. If your colleague wanted something done about it she would have done that herself.. shes told you to leave it so leave it.

It's interesting how different people see things like this. I'm not white ,(although I find the term POC toe-curling, personally!) and I find your colleague's behaviour quite offensive.

I know colleague is an adult and could sort it herself however she is young and the colleague who said it is a member of management if that makes a difference to opinions.

So a white colleague is going around asking black and brown people if they know someone who can come in and do a dance or cook a dish for black history month?

It does sound a bit odd. I mean, if they were asking black and brown colleagues if they, themselves, wanted to share something, maybe. But if they want an outside person then anyone could know someone who could do this? Plus why would some random stranger want to do this?

But I'd also say if they want an external person, then they should go through some professional service to find such a person quite frankly.

Why doesn't the manager contact some catering companies!

Well yeah to me it comes across as: we want lots of black people to come in and serve all the white people food…

I just don’t know how people don’t think before they speak.

It's not your place to speak for your 'colleague of colour'.

If this is real then you are incredibly patronising.

I think it’s fine to offer support or back up should someone want to say something, but you need to respect their autonomy. Maybe she’d be more offended or embarrassed by the ‘white saviour’ situation than the actual comment. I’m not questioning your intentions, but it can be really embarrassing or demeaning to be infantilised and spoken for. It’s easily taken the wrong way.
Years ago I remember a man reporting the way men were speaking to me. At the time, he meant well, but I wanted to prove myself. Be equal and show my strength as a young woman, it sort of drove a wedge that I never asked them to stop the banter but it suddenly came as a management telling off when I’d made out I had no issue. It isolated me a bit.
It’s her choice how she deals with things, just say ‘if you ever do want to complain or raise the issue I am happy to support you in any meetings or share witness statements’. Then leave it.

did she really suggest someone come in and 'do a dance?' Because that's really weird! I assume she means some sort of traditional thing but assuming all or even most black people have a 'special dance' as part of their cultural background is a bit dodgy. If I was your colleague I'd agree enthusiastically and just get a random friend to come in and do the macarena or something to highlight how weird a request it is.
Maybe not related to your original query because it would be equally weird for her to ask white colleagues if they have any friends who want to come and do a dance for an office full of randoms.

I think your whole office needs a rethink about how they celebrate diversity tbh - most places I've worked if there's been a member of staff of a relevant group who wants to do something themselves that's been encouraged but not crowdsourcing random friends/family members.

I think you could address this without referencing your non-white colleague at all, and fairly casually. Just say 'why not put the question to everyone at the next meeting - someone might know someone who does that kind of thing'.

I just see it as you being offended on behalf of someone else, who has clearly indicated they don’t want to take it further. This happens so much, and must come across as patronising to the person who has said twice that they want to just leave it. I’m sure should she feel strongly about it that she would make you and others aware she’s upset, but that really doesn’t seem to be the case here.

The comments are all really helpful,

I’ve been trying not to identify my workplace and probably should have identified colleagues by fake names rather than labelling each time (apologies for that).

Lots to think about.

Don’t be silly. I love baking cakes, and sometimes get people asking me to bring in one of my cakes. I don’t look at it as me being asked to bake and serve being a derogatory thing. You’re way over analysing this……

That’s how I’d like to however it was only those two colleagues in the room when said colleague was asked.

However I could just mention Black History month and suggest randomly they ask everyone in the meeting for ideas and links but then I reckon they will say ‘well I already asked X and they said no’ then I would have to give my opinion on just asking that person.

maybe that’s the issue that it’s my opinion on this incident.