My feckless brother has come to me for help again, he's got himself into a mess and needs getting out of it, again. I just despair. I gave him a bit of tough love, we know better than to make these stupid mistakes and he trotted out "You can't learn from other peoples mistakes, only your own."
Of course you can learn from other peoples mistakes. We grew up watching our dad nearly kill himself with alcohol, I saw that with my own eyes and knew I would never do it. I barely drink. Our parents were bankrupt in my last few years of primary/first few years of secondary. I don't want that. I've been through it once. I'm careful with money, avoid debt like the plague. My parents did nothing but argue and I remember how sad it made me feel and I know not to do it around my kids. I didn't make these mistakes but I grew up with the consequences so as an adult and a parent I know the effect it can have so I simply don't do it.
Yet he drinks, he gambles, he loses jobs, he lets his kids down, he lets his ex wife down. He shrugs his shoulders and says that he has to make these mistakes, he can't learn from other peoples. It's a cop out isn't it?!