Privacy?

[Onetwothreefour1234]

I want to stress I am really close to my family but I have asked if I am not home, for them not to let themselves in (they have a spare key) and to wait until I am home? Unless we have arranged something, they have consent first.

i feel uncomfortable with never knowing if someone is going to walk in on me, I currently feel like I always need to be dressed ‘just incase’. Does this sound daft? I being sensitive?

It doesn't matter who it is or how close the relationship is, everyone is entitled to a safe, private space. Even if you were to ask them to not show up without letting you know first, you still wouldn't be being unreasonable.

If my DP is in the bedroom with the door closed, I'll Whatsapp to ask if he's awake before I burst in. Everyone needs some private time, even when you share a space.

If your family have an established dynamic of just walking in and out of each others houses, they might take offence initially. It depends how receptive they are to boundaries. No matter how they react, you are definitely not being unreasonable.

This would not work for me at all, and I would ask for the key back immediately. Have they done this often? Are they continuing to do so after you've spoken to them?

YANBU. I'd put a bolt on the doors so you can lock them that way, even if someone then tries to get in with their key they can't. They'll know you're in but at least you'll be able to throw some clothes on.

Also if you've got a traditional lock you can leave the key in and twist it slightly. This prevents someone putting their key in from the outside.

You WhatsApp your partner in the same house to ask if you can go into a room he's in? Can't you just knock?

get a key safe for outside and change the lock.
oh dear the lock broke and the replacement only came with one spare key so I've got this safe instead, if anyone needs access and we're not here just message me and I'll give you the code!

Thanks all, I have said something now. It went ok, I just don’t like confrontation.

it was a discussion and not an argument but I still feel sad I had to discuss it

I don’t want to take the keys back, I just want a little more privacy in my own home. They are very welcome when I’m home / I answer the door

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this. It wouldn't even occur to me to knock on my own bedroom door to be honest

HA! Fair enough, it's just my personal weird trait. We rarely have doors fully closed in the flat so when I close a door behind me it's usually a "piss off and give me peace" sign. I treat it the same. WhatsApp is just me just forewarning that I need to come in.

Totally a me thing, though.

If my DP is in the bedroom with the door closed, I'll Whatsapp to ask if he's awake
He'll be awake once his phone pings him awake!
Just open the door quietly, some right odd yins on MN.