Nc for this.
I'm being accused by my young teen of being controlling over what are eats.
She possibly has autism but is refusing to be assessed saying she is fine.
Every shop I do I check with her what she would like me to get, what meals she'd like and I check daily what she wants for tea. I've asked her time and time again to give me 7 meals that she will eat. She has done but then decides she no longer likes some things on it or doesn't want that meal on the day I plan to make it. The amount of food wasted is criminal.
Many of the things she wants are things that I might not have in or that her younger sibling and I don't want it don't really like. I don't really want to be making 3 different meals.
I bake weekly so that she has something for break because she doesn't like the school meals and says there is only one option to eat when school tells me there's at least 5 choices she could have. She will often just get pizza, or a cookie and a bottle of water despite having an expensive insulated water bottle that I fill with iced water each day for her. Water is available for free at school from the water fountains. Whatever I bake that she likes she decides she now doesn't like and won't eat it.
Our favourite family restaurant is now somewhere she doesn't like so birthdays are tricky and she wants me to cook an elaborate meal instead. Her sibling wants to go to the restaurant but she will sit there miserable because there's nothing she likes or she doesn't like that particular version of cheese and tomato pizza.
She complains there is no food in the house and that she thinks we are poor because of it. There's lots of food but not ready to eat snacks all the time. I've reduced the amount of crisps I buy because she eats them within 2 days and leaves her rubbish all over the house. She still has crisps more days than she doesn't because I do buy them and her grandad buys them so she can have them at his house which we visit twice a week.
Left to her own devices she'd eat bagels, but they have to be a certain brand, crisps, chocolate, sweets.
Her sleep is dreadful, she's always tired, low in iron, gets headaches and feels sick. It's obviously due to poor diet and barely eating at meal times but she refuses to accept that.
Trying to get her to eat some fruit and veg is met with resistance. She will only eat x or y but that's not guaranteed and if I make something I know she likes she'll decide she doesn't like it or doesn't want it that day.
Because of all this in order for her to eat decently I have to make something different for her or she would just go hungry.
The above means I would like to eat like lasagne or other pasta dishes, rice dishes and soups are off the menu because I don't have time money to make that for me then something else for her.
At her dad's she only eats chips and he's getting pissed off with meal times revolving around what she wants.
When we go for days out she will only eat one thing, a bought picnic for say the beach ends up costing a fortune with lots of waste because she wants something that comes in a big packet to share and we either have to eat it too or it's the rest is wasted.
At weekends are won't get up and doesn't have breakfast until about 2pm then she's not hungry get for tea when we are.
She eats well if it's what she wants when she wants it and if it's exactly like she wants it.
The orthodontist has told her are needs to stop eating 2 hours before bed. She angrily told me I'd have to give her more food at tea time but she rarely finishes what I give her.
I involve her in shopping, in meal planning and food prep, have about 30 cookery books that I've asked her to choose something from but no, I'm controlling.
Every day I dread mealtimes. It's like running a cafe for the world's harshest food critic. I try my best to accommodate her but it's never good enough.
I'm exhausted but maybe I'm the one in the wrong.