I don’t know what to do

[Howdoidealwiththis]

My three year old woke up at twenty last five screaming the house down, not upset really but angry.

I took him in bed with me and tried to comfort him but he kept kicking me and screaming at me to turn the light on. I stayed calm and did all the ‘right’ things and eventually he calmed down and lay with me although neither of us slept. Then he started pinching me and laughing. I was removing his hands and saying no but I could feel myself getting angry and I was holding his hands harder than I should and hurting him not really meaning to but just through anger and frustration. I’ve now put him in the far corner of the house on his own it doesn’t feel good but I don’t know what else to do. His behaviour is awful

Personally, I know it’s early, but I’d get him in a pushchair and out for a walk. Put headphones in for you if necessary.
are you alone with him?

He’d go mental but I can’t do that. There are other children asleep it’s pouring down and we live on a very busy road with no pavement.

That sound so tough! I'm currently up at 5.30 every morning with my 18 month old who thinks that's morning!

What consequences does he usually have for lashing out etc?

None, he doesn’t care about anything so makes life a bit difficult in all honesty.

How old are the other children? Is he always this aggressive- what have nursery/HVs/pre school said?

Nursery have commented that he sometimes pushes other children, but don’t seem to think it’s a concern. I have to admit I don’t know how to deal with him. Putting him somewhere else for a while worked though, but it feels like it might not be an ‘approved’ method of parenting.

I'd have no problem using time out/naughty step if it worked (which it did for my kids and I used Supernanny's method). But I'd only use it for 3 mins cos of his age and not half an hour or whatever. I'd goggle the method and see what you reckon.

You'll have a battle the first few times you use it, but thereafter it gets easier.

Yeah, the problem is he doesn’t calm down within the recommended time limits, it seems to make him more angry, so today worked because he was there for 15 mins. I know that’s too long but tbh it was for me not him, I was wanting to lash out myself. I know that’s wrong but I was.

I think it's fine to put him away for a bit if the time out area is safe/child proofed. Are you a single parent?

No but partner works away so don’t have another adult in the house.

My nearly 4 year old takes longer to calm down too but I step in at intervals and give him an option of apologising etc. so it's following suoernannys method

I take him to the naughty step away from everyone else and explain why he's there and go back at 4 minutes. Ask him if he's ready to say sorry to whoever he hurt or me if it's misbehaving. If he's not calmed down he says no so I then leave him for another 4 minutes and so on

At some point he'll repent and apologise and I'll offer him a hug to calm down and we also physically 'shake off' the anger. A good cuddle or cuddle with teddy to calm down is a must for mine as he just can't do it himself

But I know every kid is so different and what works for one etc....

I don't have similar experiences, but 15 mins doesn't sound that long to me if it works. It's not like you left him for hours.

It does seem to have done but maybe 7/8 mins would have as well. It just felt horrible but I’m unsure what else to do with him.