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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Young children on the train on their own...

133 replies

highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 15:45

I'm on a train from SE to Scotland. 5 young children, ages between 2 - 13 I would say got on and settled on the seats near me (table seats area). They all looked absolutely exhausted and all feel asleep as soon as they sat down. There are no parents or carers anywhere near. Also, they smell quite bad, like they haven't washed in a while.
AIBU to think this is weird?

I know it's none of my business but it feels strange to me. Especially the little one who can't be older than 2 should not be on a train without an adult?

OP posts:
gogomoto · 13/09/2023 16:02

My dd at 17 looked about 12, also it's quite acceptable for kids to travel on trains from quite young, I looked into it, mine did from 10&12.

More concerning is the neglect you are suspecting. They aren't distressed so perhaps they do this often

WhateverMate · 13/09/2023 16:03

highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 16:01

the little one had now climbed back on her brother's lap and is again fast asleep.

I'll wait a bit for the member of staff to come back. If she doesn't then I'll wake one of them up.

4 minutes ago she was sitting under the table and now she's fast asleep on her brother's lap?

Original poster
highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 16:03

She's come back. Apparently she has found the dad and will go get him.
WTF! he just leaves his kids in another part of a busy train????

OP posts:
Hubblebubble · 13/09/2023 16:03

Just because they're a different ethnicity doesn't mean people won't assume they're your children or nephews/nieces. There's no one way mixed heritage children look.

Hubblebubble · 13/09/2023 16:04

Good job raising it as a concern. Hope they have a strong word with the dad.

Original poster
highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 16:04

4 minutes ago she was sitting under the table and now she's fast asleep on her brother's lap?

Why is it strange? She was on his lap, then slid down, was under the table, then climbed back on?

OP posts:
FilthyforFirth · 13/09/2023 16:04

That poor 2 year old. Doesnt sound like a happy or stable home life...

3WildOnes · 13/09/2023 16:04

gogomoto · 13/09/2023 16:02

My dd at 17 looked about 12, also it's quite acceptable for kids to travel on trains from quite young, I looked into it, mine did from 10&12.

More concerning is the neglect you are suspecting. They aren't distressed so perhaps they do this often

Mine travelled alone on trains from the age of 10 too but they weren't in charge of much younger siblings. A 13yr old can look after themselves but not three younger siblings on a train.
This is a safeguarding concern so please do text the BTP.

caban · 13/09/2023 16:07

highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 16:03

She's come back. Apparently she has found the dad and will go get him.
WTF! he just leaves his kids in another part of a busy train????

If the train is busy they might not have been able to get seats together.

Original poster
highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 16:11

If the train is busy they might not have been able to get seats together.

It's busy but actully there are two seats free next to us.

Anyway, dad came. Said something to the boy with the toddler and then walked off again.
And now he came back back with 3 more kids.
So he was with the others in another part of the train.

So I guess it's all OK. there is an adult with them here.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 13/09/2023 16:18

FilthyforFirth · 13/09/2023 16:04

That poor 2 year old. Doesnt sound like a happy or stable home life...

That's one giant leap.

FilthyforFirth · 13/09/2023 16:26

I have a 2 year old, not a chance in hell he would be left without an adult on a train. Doesnt suggest to me brilliant parenting.

Weedoormatnomore · 13/09/2023 16:27

Still could think they are with you. Step families, family friend If I saw 5 kids and 1 adult I would think kids are with them last thing I would think is oh can't be as different ethnicity. I am friends with 2 sisters both look different ethnicity.

Missedmytoe · 13/09/2023 16:29

Glad you were able to resolve this. A friend of mine was sent off to boarding school, quite alone, on a train, aged 4. This was back in the 70s and nobody took a blind bit of notice as they sobbed, struggled with their luggage, and had to find their destination station with no help.

caban · 13/09/2023 16:29

FilthyforFirth · 13/09/2023 16:26

I have a 2 year old, not a chance in hell he would be left without an adult on a train. Doesnt suggest to me brilliant parenting.

Fine for a 2 year old to sit with a teenage sibling with a parent on the same train.

TokyoSushi · 13/09/2023 16:31

Oh that's good that the Dad is there, still a bit strange, but better!

Trenda · 13/09/2023 16:32

Missedmytoe · 13/09/2023 16:29

Glad you were able to resolve this. A friend of mine was sent off to boarding school, quite alone, on a train, aged 4. This was back in the 70s and nobody took a blind bit of notice as they sobbed, struggled with their luggage, and had to find their destination station with no help.

Is this typo ? 4 years old and sent to a boarding school on the train and alone?😲

Original poster
highlandcrusader · 13/09/2023 16:33

6 of the 8 children are fast asleep. Probably a long day travelling...
I will need to wake the one next to me though because I need to go to the loo desperately!

OP posts:
Missedmytoe · 13/09/2023 16:34

@Trenda no, not a typo. 4 and above is school age - friend's parents had many children (they were the youngest) and this was the done thing. Parents lived overseas at the time so came over, sent friend off to school and didn't then see them until the holidays.

HappierTimesAhead · 13/09/2023 16:34

Missedmytoe · 13/09/2023 16:29

Glad you were able to resolve this. A friend of mine was sent off to boarding school, quite alone, on a train, aged 4. This was back in the 70s and nobody took a blind bit of notice as they sobbed, struggled with their luggage, and had to find their destination station with no help.

That is heartbreaking

Mistressanne · 13/09/2023 16:34

Missedmytoe · 13/09/2023 16:29

Glad you were able to resolve this. A friend of mine was sent off to boarding school, quite alone, on a train, aged 4. This was back in the 70s and nobody took a blind bit of notice as they sobbed, struggled with their luggage, and had to find their destination station with no help.

Are you sure you don't mean 8?
Still too young though.

user1471505494 · 13/09/2023 16:38

Trenda · 13/09/2023 16:32

Is this typo ? 4 years old and sent to a boarding school on the train and alone?😲

Show quote history

My husband aged 7 had to go on the train and change in London. It wasn’t until he was on the final train which was a school train that he saw people he knew. Doesn’t appear to have caused him any trouble

Webmeister999 · 13/09/2023 16:41

I used to go on the tram to visit my grandmother at the age of 10. No one thought anything of it.

GoryBory · 13/09/2023 16:44

I’m glad you told someone about it and it was ok.

I do know lots of children who travelled by train alone in the past, especially with siblings but 2 years old is way too young.
So I’m glad you reported it just in case.

Lifeinlists · 13/09/2023 16:44

Missedmytoe · 13/09/2023 16:34

@Trenda no, not a typo. 4 and above is school age - friend's parents had many children (they were the youngest) and this was the done thing. Parents lived overseas at the time so came over, sent friend off to school and didn't then see them until the holidays.

The done thing where? Or do you mean the 1870s?
If they came over to send a 4 year old to boarding school why wouldn't they have taken him there? I think someone may be exaggerating the story.

Anyway OP you were right to be concerned but benign and not so benign neglect is alive and well.

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