To think that just because I earn more than my brother.....

[milliec]

Message withdrawn

He sounds like a spoilt kid to me. Sorry, I know he's your brother but you made a perfectly reasonable offer.

Tell him you'll pull out altogether and mark her birthday in your own way without reference to him at all unless he is prepared to make a reasonable financial contribution. And tell him that if he slams the phone down on you again, you'll assume he is unable to co-operate with you on this one.

tell him to buy his own gift. it is the thought that conts after all

if you earn about half as much as him again though that means far more disposable income surely?

I don't think it's as simple as £15 for every £10

however he is being unfair to make no contribution at all

Just because you earn more doesn't mean you should be forced to pay more. You may have a bigger mortgage and therefore less disposable income than he thinks.

If he expects you to be more generous then you should be involved in the organising. He could be ordering for someone to pop out of a cake for all you know!!

So no YANBU, and the fact that he cannot discuss this with you calmly shows that he is probably jealous of your earnings.

i would take your mum out on her own, hes being vvvu

YANBU the bill should be split equally UNLESS it is your wish to have something more expensive and you agree to subsidise your brother because of this.

I am one of four and I am more financially secure than my 3 siblings and I constantly have this problem it really riles me when they don't pay there way. At my mums 60th birthday dinner last year everyone, including my stepdad put down £15 for their main course and left me to pay for all the wine, side dishes and tips on top of my own expenses, this in a dinner for 18 people.

Also the following day at the same hotel my mum and sister put their lunch bill on my account. And no-one offered any contribution to the cake or disposable camera either. Or bought me a drink.

It really makes you feel used doesn't it?

Gobsmacked nametaken - that's outrageous!

This is why you should never tell anyone what you earn.

Ask him what he can afford and offer to match that/put in what you think is reasonable, then work out what the do will be like. i.e. set the budget before you make the plans.

Your mum would rather have a bunch of daffs and and picnic than her children falling out over money. Actually if my boys organise a picnic for my 60th I shall be over the moon. (must make a diary note to start dropping hints in about 20 years time)

Absolutely outrageous!

YANBU at all!

Message withdrawn

Well he's your brother so you probably know whether he's generally a selfish thoughtless knob or not. But maybe he has money problems he hasn't told you about, and that's what's making him snappy about money.

Milliec. Regardless of what either of you choose to spend your money on - OR how much you earn...

You should both contribute equally to your mum's 60th, IMHO....

I'm sure most mums would prefer to do something cheaper / at home and have a happy get together than have the works laid on, but find out that one child got pushed into it by the other.

Message withdrawn